This Despondent Heart
by Trufreak89
Summary: Two years after Freddie's death, Emily's living her life in Leeds and Katie is making it her job to look after the rest of the gang, but things get complicated when Naomi comes back to Bristol. Companion to 'This Disillusioned Life' but can be read as a stand alone fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **This Despondent Heart

**Summary:** Two years after Freddie's death, Emily's living her life in Leeds and Katie is making it her job to look after the rest of the gang, but things get complicated when Naomi comes back to Bristol.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Skins or anything related to the show.

**Rating:** M

**A/N:** So this is an accompaniment to 'This Disillusioned Life' telling the same story but from Katie's point of view because a few people have asked for it. You don't need to have read it to understand this, but I'd recommend reading both. Kaomi & mentions of Naomily.

The club is jumping tonight and right now I own the dance floor. I laugh and push away the hands of the blonde girl trying to grope my arse. She's tried it on loads tonight but I'm not interested. It's been a long week at work and I just want to have a dance without it having to lead somewhere; besides her platinum blonde hair is putting me off. I shoot her a coy smile as I turn to the nearest guy I can find and begin grinding up against him. His girlfriend is dancing beside him and rather than berate me for dancing with her bloke she slips up behind me and I think I might be in for an interesting night after all.

Then Cook's pushing some blonde towards me, a shameless trick he pulls all the time when he's trying for a threesome. No matter how many times I have to turn him down he doesn't seem to get the message. Don't get me wrong, I've shagged a few of the girls he's sent my way, but it will be a cold day in hell when I fuck James Cook. At first glance she's pretty enough, long blonde curls, nice smile…

I laugh as I help steady the girl, knowing Cook he's probably been feeding her shots at the bar. She stiffens as I touch her and I'm about to ask her if she's ok when I really get a good look at her and see who it is. I'm stunned for a second. She was the last person I expected to see here tonight and I'm not sure what to say or how to act; so I fall back on the safest course of action and start shouting. "What the fuck is she doing here?" I glare at her, expecting the same treatment back, but she looks more spooked than angry, like a deer caught in the headlights. Cook explains she's finally come home for a summer, like it's perfectly fucking normal for her to just waltz back in to town with no warning after two years! He tries to drape an arm around both of us and pull us together, but we fight him off at the same time and Naomi stalks off to the bar. "What the actual fuck Cook? A bit of warning would have been nice, yeah? You do know Ems is coming back next month!" I take my frustrations out on Cook because Naomi's walked away and it's not just her return that's got me on edge. Pretty soon I'll have to put up with Emily being back too and she's going to be moping all over the blonde again, like nothing's changed. Great. This summer is just going to be fucking _awesome._

God I need a drink. I can't handle this shit right now. I'm twenty years old and it's a Friday night, right now I just want to be off my tits on drink and dancing with the fittest person I can find. When I get to the bar though Naomi's there, practically drooling over the skanky barmaid who's ogling her chest. I'll give the girl her due, she has nice tits, but flashing them for a drink is a bit desperate. I shake my head as the barmaid pushes away her money and Naomi smirks like she's just won something special. Please, it's only a fucking watered down vodka and coke. I order a double for myself and glare at the barmaid as she tries her tricks on me. I'd rather pay double than degrade myself.

When I make my way back to the dance floor Naomi seems to have recovered and is dancing with Cook like it's any other Friday night. JJ stands sheepishly beside them drinking an orange juice and I offer him a genuine smile as I take his hand and try to encourage him to dance. He never does, but whenever he's out without Lara I always try to make an effort to include him so I carry on regardless. The more we all drink the more relaxed we all get and I end up joining Cook and Naomi, even letting Cook get his rocks off by trying to dirty dance with me; he looks like a gorilla trying to mount a lamppost. I try to get JJ involved but he stands there like a lemon, I think he could have an instruction manual and he still wouldn't know what to do with a fit girl. God knows how he's managed to keep Lara, but whatever he's doing seems to work. The pair of them are smitten and, next to Effy, Lara's practically my best friend.

Campbell keeps going up to the bar and coming back with strange fucking cocktails, the barmaid's eyes glued to her arse as she watches her make her way back over to us. The skank is pissing me right off, and Naomi shouldn't be fucking encouraging her either. I wait until she finishes her next drink, she starts dancing with Cook and slapping his hands as they wander to her arse, I grab her by the hand before she can make her way back to the bar. She has the deer in the headlights look on her face again as I slip my arms around her waist and start dancing with her…well technically it's more like on her, and it's almost fucking worth it to watch her stand there dumbstruck. My hands move to her hips as I lean in close to talk in to her ear, the club is packed and it's the only way she'll hear me over the noise. I don't miss the way her breath hitches or how her eyes close over. She's thinking about Emily, I can see it written all over her face. It's always about Emily with her. "Are you going to get us a drink from bimbo barmaid or what?" I snap and whatever spell she was under is broken. She still looks shaken as she goes over to the bar and catches the blonde's attention. When she holds two fingers up to indicate she wants a second drink the barmaid doesn't look very impressed. Her eyes search the crowd and land on me with a glare. It looks like it wasn't just Naomi she was watching.

So that bitch wants to play does she? She clearly hasn't heard that I'm _Katie Fucking Fitch _and I don't come second at anything. She thinks she's got Naomi's attention? Well I'll show her just how wrong she is. Sauntering over to the bar I wrap one arm around Naomi's waist and use the other to cup her cheek as my lips find her ear. It's almost too easy. The barmaid's eyes narrow on me and if we were in a cartoon there'd be steam coming from her ears. I think she's contemplating throwing the cocktails she's just made over the pair of us as I giggle in to Naomi's ear like we're playing a game. Her entire body feels tense and I swear she's practically shaking. The barmaid isn't the only blonde I'm teaching a lesson tonight. "Cock blocked." I laugh as the barmaid snatches the tenner out of Naomi's hand and stalks off. I take one of the cocktails and flounce off to find Cook, leaving Naomi to compose herself at the bar. I know it's all about Emily, but it doesn't stop me taking a little bit of pride in knowing I can get to her so easily.

I see her watching me for the rest of the night, stealing glances when she thinks I'm distracted by whoever I'm dancing with. I see something familiar in her gaze, a hunger I'm used to seeing on people's faces as I let loose on the dance floor, flirting and teasing with the way I move my body. For the first time ever Naomi Campbell is looking at me like she wants to fuck me senseless and I'm loving it. I dance with her a little bit, but mostly I dance with random girls and accept drinks off loser guys who have no chance of getting in my pants, all the while watching Campbell get more and more worked up. By the time we leave the club at stupid o'clock in the morning I can barely walk straight. My fucking feet are killing me; I really should learn to stop wearing heels on a night out with Cook. I should know better by now.

The stupid street is cobbled and I'm going to end up on my arse if I'm not careful. Fuck, spoke too soon! One of my heels catches  
and I go flying forward. Naomi curses as she shoots forward to catch me, her hands lingering on my arms a little longer than necessary before she lets go of me and starts pulling at my high heels. "Fuck you doing?" I've had far too much to drink, because right now the only thought running through my head is that Naomi Campbell is trying to steal my shoes. It's absurd, because my feet are tiny and these heels are ridiculously expensive, and everyone knows Naomi has no fashion sense. As I try to pull away from her and save my designer heels from her clutches I end up losing my balance again. She catches my wrist and holds me steady as she finally pulls my heels off my feet and steps out of her converse. They're too big but she ties them tight to keep them on my feet and I can't help but giggle at how ridiculous her bright red converse look with my dress and tights.  
"Fuck me Naoms, you're fashion sense hasn't got any better has it?"

Something in her changes and I think it's got something to do with how husky my voice came out with her nickname; and once again it's all about Emily. She storms off ahead in her socks without saying a word, like she hasn't just done something stupidly nice for someone she's supposed to hate. I bite my lip as I look down at the battered converse on my tired feet. They're only marginally easier to walk in due to them being too big so I struggle to catch up to Naomi and the others. "Wait then!" She slows down and pulls out a cigarette, pretends that she's only slowed down so that her unsteady hands can light it, when really we both know she's waiting for me to catch up to her. She offers me a cigarette before she remembers I don't smoke and puts the pack away.

It's fucking freezing tonight and I'm shivering as we walk along in search of a taxi. I wrap my arms around myself trying to stave off the cold. I knew I should have worn a jacket. "Fuck sake." Naomi grumbles as she slips her own jacket off and drapes it over my shoulders. I just stand there staring at her. Two years ago Naomi Campbell would barely give me the time of day and yet here she is giving up her shoes and her jacket. I eventually slip my arms in to the jacket and hug it tightly around me. It's still warm from her wearing it and when I shiver again it's not from the cold. "Thank you." I mumble to her with my eyes glued to the ground. We walk in silence after that and the four of us pour in to a taxi that Cook's managed to flag down.

I'm in the back with JJ, Naomi pressed between the two of us, my heels in my hands as I stare out of the window. I can feel Naomi's eyes burning in to me and her thigh pressed right up against me and I suddenly feel a whole lot sober by the time I climb out of the taxi in front of my apartment. I pull my keys out of my purse and let myself through the security door before making my way up the stairs to the landing my apartment is on. Closing the front door behind me I slip my feet out of the horrid red converse and leave them by the door. I keep the jacket on because I still feel cold and pad barefoot in to the living room. The lamp by the sofa is on, casting the room in a warm orange glow that warms me through. I smile at my flatmate who is spread out across the sofa with a blanket over her and collapse on top of her. Effy chuckles good naturedly as she scoots over to let me lie beside her and wraps the blanket over both of us. I close my eyes for a moment as I lie pressed up against her, my head on her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart. "Good night?" She asks and my thoughts instantly go to Naomi.

"Naomi's back." I admit with a heavy sigh and her arms wrap around me as she leans her head on my shoulder. It's amazing how much closer the two of us have become over the last two years. Effy and I finally have the friendship I wanted us to have since the first day of college; it just took us both losing nearly everything to get it.  
"Want to talk about it?" I shake my head and she knows not to push it. She presses her lips to my cheek, but there's nothing romantic or sexual about her gesture. We've slept together twice, yes I've slept with a girl, well more than one actually, and Effy might be incredibly hot, but I'm not interested in her that way. "Babe, is there something in your pocket or are you just _really_happy to see me?" Effy teases and I shift to see what is inside my pocket that's digging in to her thigh. It's only as I pull Naomi's phone out that I remember that the pocket, and the jacket it belongs too, aren't mine at all. They're Naomi's. Fuck, she's going to want her phone back! So I'm probably going to have to see her tomorrow too.

I shove the phone back in the pocket and pull off the other girl's jacket, draping it on the coffee table before I bury my face in a pillow and groan. I lie there beside Effy and try to stop myself from thinking about Naomi all together. About how good she looked tonight. Despite my barbs her dress sense has actually improved somewhat, red converse not included, and she's kept her hair long, I always she always looked prettier with her long hair…

Not that my opinion ever mattered; after all, it was always about Emily.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: A big thank you to everyone who's reading and for the encouraging reviews people have left! I'm glad people like Katie in both this and TDL. I hated her in the third series of Skins but completely changed my mind about her in series 4 and was hoping to write a more likeable yet believable Katie Fitch. The plan is to do** **every chapter of TDL from her POV, though with added scenes between her and Effy, Lara, Emily etc. TDL is still my priority though so I'll work on this when I get a chance :)  
**

When I finally drag myself out of bed I've got the flat to myself. Effy's got a couple more assessments for uni before she finishes for the summer and I've got the day off work so I keep myself busy by tidying my apartment. I take pride in keeping the place clean and tidy. The kitchen and living room are open plan, with the bathroom and mine and Effy's rooms down in the hallway that the front door leads in to. I pay a fortune for this two bedroom corner flat and it's more than a step up from the council flat my parents ended up moving in to. Dad's still working on his new gym equipment that is supposed to change the world and mum's still trying to run her wedding business while working at the beauty parlour and giving sixteen year olds bikini waxes and vajazzles. There was a time not too long ago when shit like that would have been important to me, but your ex being murdered and one of your closest friends trying to top herself can really change your priorities.

I move Naomi's jacket from where I dumped it on the coffee table last night and drape it over the back of one of the dining room chairs. I'm still reeling from the fact that she just turned up last night! She hasn't been back to Bristol since she left for uni two years ago, she didn't even come back for Christmas! Not that I'm all that interested in Naomi's Campbell's personal life, but Ems still sees Gina sometimes when she's home from uni. She acts like she just wants to see the mad old cow, but it's obvious she's hoping to bump in to Naomi. It's fucking pathetic how she still pines around like a lovesick puppy. I mean, she's my twin, she's supposed to have more fucking class than that, yeah? You wouldn't catch me acting so desperate. Unlike Emily I don't chase. I don't need to.

I put aside thoughts of Emily and Naomi as I lose myself pottering about in the flat. Its chucking it down outside and I'm too hungover to face going out anyway so I spend the afternoon in the flat and when I know Effy's due home I start to rummage through the freezer looking for something for dinner for us. When I hear the buzzer go off in the hall I frown and leave the pasta I'm cooking on the hob and go and answer it. Effy has her own key, so I have a good idea who it's going to be and my tone is less than hospitable as I pick up the intercom on the wall. "Yes?"  
"Katie it's me." I hear a familiar voice on the other end of the line and I stand there contemplating whether to let her in or just take her shoes and jacket and throw them out of the window for her. I pause for too long and she adds, "it's Naomi."

"I know who the fuck it is." I sigh down the line and decide to play dumb, like I wasn't expecting her over. "What do you want?" I snap, hoping she'll get the message and leave once she has her stuff.  
"My phone, it's in my jacket…" I hear the pan of pasta beginning to boil over in the kitchen and push the button to open the security door, hanging the intercom back up I open my front door and rush back in to the kitchen. After a minute or so I hear Naomi calling out for me from the front door and I shout for her to come in to the kitchen; like I said, I don't chase. As she walks in to the open plan space that makes up my tastefully decorated living room and kitchen she lets out a low whistle of appreciation, her eyes taking in everything at once.  
"Nice. Expensive?"

"Of course." I smirk at her. I've worked hard to get where I am and I'm entitled to be smug about my home. After all not a lot of twenty year olds with a handful of crap A-Levels have what I have. I pop a tray of vegetables in to the oven to roast and toss aside my hot pink oven gloves. "Your jacket's over there. Shoes are by the door." I nod towards the dining room table and she goes straight over and takes her phone out. She checks it before shoving it in to the pocket of her jeans and we fall in to an uncomfortable silence as she just stands there. I watch her nervously chewing on her lip as she mulls over the question she's dying to ask. I know it's coming before she even opens her lips.  
"How is she?"

"Who?" I frown at her, like I don't know exactly who she's talking about. It has the desired effect and rubs her up the wrong way. As much as I've matured over the last two years that doesn't mean it isn't still fun to wind the blonde up. It was practically a hobby when I was in my teens.  
"The fucking Queen, who do you think?" She finally snaps at me and it's nice to be on familiar ground. I could easily shout back at her and we'd end up in a huge argument, but I'm not sixteen anymore and I'd like to think I've grown up enough to at least have one civil conversation with the fuming blonde in front of me. She did give me her shoes and jacket last night too, so maybe answering her question will be my sort of peace offering in return; then she can fuck off out of my flat.  
"She's good. Happy." I glare at her, hoping she gets the less than subtle hint that I want her to stay that way. "She's studying at Leeds. Wants to be a primary school teacher." She smirks, probably because it's so predictably Emily. Her next question surprises me.

"So what are you doing then?" It takes me a moment to answer, and when I do it's a bit of a white lie. Like I said, I work hard for my money and I make a _lot_ of it. I'm proud of what I do, but for some reason my confidence waivers as she takes an interest in what I do.  
"Modelling." I hold my head up high and dare her to comment on it. I know I'm far too short to be in mainstream modelling, I got told it often enough when I started trying to get in to it when I was eighteen, but she seems to buy it and it's close enough to what I actually do without being a flat out lie. After all I am involved in modelling, but instead of wearing the clothes I take the pictures. I got in to photography a couple of years back, when my family and my life seemed to be falling apart. I've never been an artsy person, but I found an old camera and started to really get in to taking photos. I was lucky enough to turn a hobby in to a very lucrative career. I love my job, I really do and I probably get paid more for a photography shoot than most of the models involved in them, but for some reason I don't want Naomi judging me and modelling seems a little more glamorous so I go with it.  
**  
**"Kay, have you got any of that wine left? I've had the shittiest day…oh." When Effy appears in the living room a genuine smile breaks out on Naomi's face and she looks a little less strained with Effy about. Effy grins at her in return.**  
**"So you finally made it then?" Effy quizzes and I shoot her a look that questions whether she was really surprised to hear Naomi was back in the city last night. If I find out she knew I'll kill her; and Cook. **  
**"Looks like it."

"Are you staying for dinner? Katie's a great cook." Effy is really pushing her luck today. She knows how I feel about Campbell and I'm still hung over as fuck, besides she can't miss the glare I'm sending her way. I know Naomi hasn't. She gets the hint and starts trying to make excuses to leave.  
"Uh, no thanks. Maybe some other time."  
"You're staying Campbell. I missed last night so we'll just have to have a girl's night tonight instead!" I'm pretty sure Naomi and I are wearing identical disgruntled looks right now, but I know Effy's missed the blonde and I'm not about to deny her some time with her friend just because we've got issues. This is as much her home as it is mine, even if I do pay most of the bills. Effy's had a tough time of it over the last few years and if having a girlie night in with Naomi Campbell is going to make her happy then I'm not going to deny her it. Of course that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it either.

"Right, well I'd better go buy more wine then." I grit my teeth as I pick up my car keys and leave Effy and Naomi to catch up. My car is my other pride and joy, a bright red Mini Cooper with a soft top; not that I get much chance to drive with the roof down when all it does is sodding rain. I go to the off license a few streets over and pick up a couple of bottles of wine, though in all honesty we didn't really need them. I just needed to get out for a bit. I can't believe Effy invited her to stay for dinner without even asking me. We get on great and we never argue over having people at the flat, but Naomi isn't just Effy's friend, she's the bitch who cheated on my sister and I can't just forget that because Effy wants a catch up.

I pick up a few extra bits and pieces while I'm out, trying to delay going back home. Eventually I pay for everything and somehow bundle it in to the tiny boot of my car before heading back. When I get back to the flat Effy takes the bags from me and starts putting the shopping away as I plate up dinner for the three of us and pour out the wine. Effy hands Naomi a glass and she looks relieved to have a drink in her hand. I know the feeling. We sit down for dinner and the other girl compliments my cooking. It takes me a second to realise she's not taking the piss and Effy tells her I'm a domestic goddess. It lightens my mood a little bit and we manage to make conversation over dinner, even if it is a little forced. I don't say a lot, I just sit there pushing food around my plate as I let Effy and Naomi catch up. It's not like I've ever had much to say to Naomi anyway.

When we're all done I collect the plates and do the washing up. Usually if I cook Effy cleans up afterwards, but I'm happy for the distraction and an excuse to avoid Naomi. I feel her watching me and an involuntary sigh slips out as I wonder whether it's me she's seeing right now, or Emily? She gets up to leave, but Effy insists she stays longer and I take a leaf out of my mother's book as I tolerate her presence in my home. We carry on drinking, getting through the extra wine I bought and surprisingly the night isn't as excruciatingly painful as I thought it would be. We actually sort of get on a little bit; but what she did to Emily is never far from my mind.

When Effy disappears in to her room, leaving me spread out across the sofa and Naomi in the recliner by the window, I catch the blonde's eyes on me again and I'm pretty sure she's looking at my chest. I'm caught somewhere between flattery and indignation at her blatantly checking me out. She looks away when she sees me looking back and her eyes close as she lets out a weary sigh. She's pissed again, and I'm less than sober myself as my own eyes rake over her body. She really is looking good… Where the fuck has Effy got to? I feel a stirring in the pit of my stomach and I'm worried that I'm going to say or do something that's going to give away the fact that I've just been checking my sister's ex out. Except it's hardly the first time.

So I act like the bitch she expects me to be. "You really fucking hurt Ems."My words are harsh but my voice is almost indifferent, like I'm telling her the time or describing the weather. I stand up while her eyes are still closed and when she opens them to reply to me I'm standing over her with my arms folded across my chest.  
"I know." Her baby blue eyes slowly open and the knot in my stomach tightens. I'm not used to her looking so intently at me and I react with the only defence I have and I land my fatal blows with a lash of my blunt tongue.  
"She's coming back in a few weeks. I suggest you fuck off by then."

Effy comes in at exactly the right moment, as Naomi looks lost for words. She probably thinks I've turned bipolar or something with the way I've been treating her since she got back, but I'd rather have her thinking that than anything else so I carry on glaring at her as Effy beams at us and holds a bottle over her head, "Tequila!"  
"Not for me. I've got an early shoot in the morning." I kiss Effy goodnight on the cheek and shoot Naomi another venomous glare so she knows exactly where we stand. We're not friends now, and we never were. A couple of ok nights together aren't going to suddenly change that fact.

I'm relieved to finally close my bedroom door behind me, strip out of my clothes and climb in to bed. I really do have an early shoot in the morning; I wasn't just looking for an excuse to get away from the other girl. As much as I love what I do it can be a long and tiring process. As well as the shoot tomorrow I'll have to process the photographs and choose which ones to pass on to the editor. It'll be a full day's work and I'm going to need a good night's sleep to get through it. I can't be distracted by Naomi either. I can hear her and Effy talking in harsh whispers and I know their talking about me or Emily. I roll on to my side and bury my head under my pillow, trying to block them out.

I'm exhausted though and it doesn't take me long to fall asleep in my soft warm bed. When I wake up it's barely five in the morning and it takes me a while to drag myself out of bed. I have a quick shower to try and wake myself up and then head back in to my room to get changed. I still love my designer labels and top fashions, and now that I'm working I can actually afford them, but I'm doing a photo shoot for a toothpaste ad in a factory and I don't want to risk running my good clothes, so I settle for comfortable pants and sensible shoes. Emily tried to make a joke about me wearing 'sensible shoes' last year, but I didn't get it. If we weren't identical I'd swear she was adopted.

I check in on Effy to make sure she managed to get to bed last night and find her tucked up under the covers and sound asleep. She looks peaceful when she sleeps. As happy as she seems when she's awake she's still haunted by Freddie's death and the scars on her wrists are testament to how broken it left her. With Emily, Naomi, Thomas and Panda away at university and Cook in prison for his original drugs charges and attacking Foster, he spent eighteen months inside and beat the therapist so badly that he'll never walk again, it had left only me and JJ to help put Effy back together again after her break down. Nothing brings you closer to someone more than clutching their bleeding wrists as they scream at you that they just want to do die. I did a lot of growing up that summer. I had to be strong for Effy, and that's what I did. I got us the apartment and I tried to sort out both of our fucked up lives. I need her just as much as Effy needed me though. I had my own issues back then too, and like Effy I'm still fighting my demons.

As I head to the front door I catch sight of Naomi's converse still sitting there and sure enough when I walk in to the living room I find her sprawled out on the sofa. It's still raining outside and she must be freezing from lying there all night. I've fallen asleep on the sofa myself more than a few times and woken up freezing cold with a crick in my neck. I creep across the room and press my hand to her cheek. It's cold to the touch. Cursing Effy for not thinking to cover her I softly pad back in to my room and pull my duvet off my bed and grab a pillow before going back in to the living room. I double the quilt over and drape it over the blonde, knowing she'll appreciate it when she wakes up. It's a little trickier for me to slip the pillow under her head and she stirs a little before she buries her face in the pillow. She'll appreciate it later; and hopefully think Effy was responsible. The last thing I need is Naomi Campbell thinking I've gone soft.


	3. Chapter 3

I fucking hate models. Three hours I spent waiting for two girls to turn up. Three fucking hours that I couldn't afford to lose! I'd planned to try and take a half day and do some work back at the flat instead of the studio, but with the disruption to my schedule I would have been lucky to be finished shooting before tea time. That was until one of the models, one that had been sitting around being pair for nothing for three hours, went and fell off the fucking stage so we had to cancel the shoot. I guess I should be careful what I wish for in the future. Except when I walk in to my flat, exhausted and grumpy, and find Naomi Campbell still sitting on my sofa, I wish as hard as I can that she'll just disappear.

I dump my bag and coat on the dining room table and go straight over to the fridge for a can of diet coke, completely ignoring her presence. I'm naively hoping that if I pretend she's not there she will _actually_disappear; which probably suggests I'm spending far too much time with Albert. My plan to ignore her fails when I take a seat beside her and she asks if I've had a good morning. As if she cares what kind of morning I've head. "I spent three hours waiting for two girls to turn up and then another one fell off the stage and chipped her tooth…Fucking models!" I pull out the pins keeping my hair up and run a hand through it to fluff it back up. I really can't be arsed to play nice with Naomi after the morning, especially when she starts sniggering like a fucking six year old.

I try my best to hold a scowl on my face but one look at Naomi's lips curled up in a smirk and the sound of her laughter and I can't help the small smile that creeps on to my face. I've got to admit, it does sound pretty funny, and I'd probably laugh too if it hadn't been such a stressful morning. "It's not funny!" I swat at her arm as she carries on laughing at me. "We were doing a fucking shoot for a toothpaste add!" Her bright blue eyes widen and her laughter turns to fits of giggles. It's practically infectious and I end up laughing along too.

We're still laughing when Effy walks in to the living room, her hair wet from being in the shower. She's wearing a conspiratorial smile as she sees the two of us laughing together on the sofa. I catch Naomi dipping her head; a blush spreading over her cheeks like Effy's just walked in on something. It makes me wonder what the two of them were talking about this morning while I was at work, babysitting life size Barbie dolls. "I should go." Naomi stands up to leave and for the second time in one morning I get my wish; once again it doesn't make me as happy as it should. She's trying to make a quick exit but Effy doesn't let her get away so easily.  
"The guys are coming over for dinner tonight. Six o'clock sharp."Her tone leaves no room for the blonde to argue and she reluctantly agrees to come back tonight.

The second Effy comes back from seeing Naomi to the door she dives on to the sofa, jumping on me in the process. "Fuck sake Ef!" I try and push her away but despite being as skinny as a rake she's taller than me and digs her heels in to the side of the arm rest while her head finds my lap. Knowing I'm beat I give up and let her settle. "Soooo…" She starts with a smirk and I know I'm not going to like where this conversation is heading. "Your duvet's back on your bed. That was very hospitable of you Katie-kins!"  
"Do one _Elizabeth_." I roll my eyes at her but she doesn't get the message and carries on pushing.  
"So did you jump under the duvet with her for a quick one or-"  
"Effy!" I pull the cushion I'm leaning on out from behind me and hit her with it; I'm probably a little more heavy handed than I mean to be, that's what happens when you spend your childhood whipping your little brother in to shape, but she gives as good as she gets when she snatches another pillow and starts hitting me back with it. We end up in a fit of laughter and by the time we've finished hitting one another I've almost forgotten why we started.

"She's looking good. I'd fuck her." Effy lays her head back down in my lap as I tuck my legs underneath me. I shake my head at her as she announces that little fact like she's telling me it's going to rain later. She's just trying to wind me up and it isn't going to work.  
"You'd fuck anyone Ef."  
"Even you." She agrees with a waggle of her eyebrows and I can't help but laugh. We've been down that road before, only once, and admittedly Effy is a good shag, but I have no intention of letting it happen again. She wasn't the first girl I'd been with, it's not like I shagged Effy and suddenly had an epiphany that I was gay or anything. I'd always kind of known, long before Emily was running around collecting her box of fannies and pining after Campbell. I'd always admired the older girls in school; always gravitated towards the popular beautiful girls like Effy. Emily and everyone else had presumed I was just trying to be cool and get in with a good crowd, no one had ever suspected the supposedly straight twin had fucked a girl before she was even sixteen. It was sort of an accident that first time. I was seeing this older guy and he wanted to have a threesome with a friend of his from uni. She was gorgeous and I was curious, so we did it; we even fucked a few times after I broke up with the bloke who was her friend.

So yes, I, Katie Fitch, am bi. Unlike my homo of a sister I don't feel the need to run around waving a fucking rainbow flag and telling everyone about it. It's my life and the people who need to know about it do. Naomi Campbell however is not one of those people, and that's how it's going to stay. Effy knows I've thought about fucking Naomi before, thanks to an unfortunate game of truth or dare that resulted in Effy pencilling in her shaved eyebrows for six months and me admitting I would fuck my twin's ex. We _really _need to stop drinking tequila.

"You knew she was coming back, didn't you?" I finally pull her since I never had time last night. From the impish smile I get in return I can guess the answer before she even opens her mouth.  
"Cook might have mentioned it." I narrow my eyes at her as I push her away and get to my feet. I love the girl to bits but sometimes she can really piss me off.  
"Thanks for telling me! Ems is coming home soon, what do you think she's going to say?"  
"About what? You wanting to fuck Naomi?" She's only teasing me, I know she would never share that secret with anyone, but it riles me up and I'm already on a short fuse. I shout a string of obscenities at her as a I storm towards my room and slam the door behind me. She has the good sense not to try and come after me.

I lie on my bed and do some work on my laptop for a few hours before there's a gentle knock on my bedroom door. Effy sticks her head around the door, waving one of the white hand towels from the bathroom. I roll my eyes but close my laptop and scoot over, making space for her on the bed beside me. "Sorry munchkin." She presses her lips to my cheek and I accept her apology. In all honestly I stopped being mad at her hours ago. When you forgive someone for smashing your head in with a rock you can pretty much forgive them for anything. "So what are you wearing tonight?" I hadn't really thought about it. It's just another dinner party with the gang; with Naomi. _Fuck._ What I wear really shouldn't matter just because _she's _coming. Except it does, and I'm still fussing over what to wear an hour later when Cook and JJ turn up with Lara and Albert.

Lara sets up Albert's travel cot at the bottom of my bed as I fuss over two dresses. The shiny sequins on one of them catch Albert's attention and I decide to wear that one. Once I'm dressed I pick the little guy up and he gets his little hands on my necklace. Lara scorns him but I let him carry on playing as Lara continues struggling with the travel cot. It's supposed to just fold out and snap together but we always have trouble with it. "You ok?" She catches the vacant look on my face as I watch Albert playing with the bangles around my wrist. Despite not actually being related to the little boy he calls me Aunt Katie and I have him over so often that his travel cot is kept under my bed for when he stays.

I can't have kids of my own. Something to do with early menopause or some shit like that. I never really caught the science mumbo jumbo the day doctor told me I would never be a mother; I was too busy re-evaluating my entire life. I'd had it all planned since me and Emily were kids. We'd marry rich footballers, have loads of kids and live in big houses near each other. Then Emily had told the whole world she was a dyke and I couldn't have kids, so that was that. I more than make up for not being able to have kids of my own by spoiling Albert.

Surprisingly Lara and JJ seemed to work as a couple and she's slowly become part of the gang over the last two years. We grew quite close and along with Effy she's like a best friend to me now. Lara's ex, Albert's dad, died in an accident last year. I don't think the little guy even remembers him and JJ treats him like his own. We all do, especially his Aunt Katie who is always more than happy to take him for the night to give Lara and JJ some much needed alone time.  
"Hmm? Fine." I lie and force a smile as she asks if I'm ok. I should probably tell her the truth, and admit I'm distracted because of Naomi being back in Bristol, but I just can't. Effy knowing is bad enough; though Lara only really met Naomi a handful of times, back when she and Emily had been at each other's throats over that dead girl, and she'll probably have a neutral opinion to offer me.

She gives me the same look she gives Albert when he tells her he hasn't had any sweets all day and I feel myself squirming under her gaze. I'm about to open my mouth and confide in her when the buzzer goes. No prizes for guessing who that will be. I leave Lara and Albert in my room and walk in to the hallway to press the button to open the downstairs security door. I stand at my front door waiting with my arms crossed for her to come up.

Fuck she looks good tonight. She's actually made an effort with her clothes and her hair is loose and curled. I've got to admit if she was a random in a club I'd go for her; but she's not. She's Naomi Campbell, the cheating ex-girlfriend of my twin sister and I remind myself of that fact as I scowl at her. "Late much?" I snap, because she really is looking stunning and if she notices I'm checking out her tits I will never live it down. Instead of rising to the bait and starting an argument she forces a smile on to her lips as she walks inside. "Aww, miss me?" She shoots back and I'm too distracted by her brushing past me to think of a quick comeback so I settle for calling her a bitch as I slam the door shut.

When I walk in to the living room she's busy saying hello to everyone and Lara is introducing her to Albert. The toddler takes one look at the stranger and his bottom lip begins to tremble. The toddle doesn't take kindly to new people. "Aww, is mean old Naomi scaring you?" I tease as I scoop him out of JJ's arms and rest him on my hip. He chirps straight up, his eyes lighting up.  
"Gnome?" The toddler asks, looking between me and his mother. We just watched _Gnomeo & Juliet _yesterday and he instantly associates the blonde's name with the closest thing he can pronounce. Cook roars in laughter at what is surely going to be the blonde's new nickname.

Once I hand Albert back over to JJ I set about plating up dinner while Lara helps set the table. Before long the six of us are sat down at the dinner table, forcing small talk. Naomi stays quite quiet, like she's suddenly realised she's sitting at a table full of strangers and I guess in a way she is. Lara asks her twice what she's doing at uni before the blonde realises she's being spoken to.  
"Oh, um, sorry. I'm doing a degree in Politics and a part time MA in Political Communications."  
"So what is it you want to do when you finish?"  
"I'm looking in to political journalism-" She tries to answer her but Albert starts crying. He's tired and cranky and most of his food has ended up smeared to his face or on the floor.

"Someone's tired." I pick Albert out of his high chair. He's still crying but he buries his face in to my shoulder and it smothers the noise a little. Lara offers to take him but I wave her off and let her carry on with her dinner. I've had enough of mine anyway and I don't mind an excuse to leave the table.

I take the toddler in to my room and wash the food from Albert's face before I change him in to his _Bob the Builder_pyjamas. As tired as he is he's fighting his sleep and starts crying again as I try to put him down in the cot. "Come on then trouble." I pick him up again, knowing exactly what he's crying for. I begin singing to him in French, my lips wrapping perfectly around the words of the lullaby Thomas taught me last year. Albert loves it. "Do do L'Enfant do, L'enfant dormira bien vite; Dodo, l'enfant do, L'enfant dormira bientôt..." I'm halfway through the song for a third time when he finally falls asleep. When I look up at the door I find Naomi watching me, wearing a curious expression. Ignoring her for the moment I finish the song as I place Albert down in his travel cot and wrap him up in the blankets.

"What was that?" She asks me in a whisper as she steps further in to my room. I tell her the name of the song that Thomas taught me and I'm surprised when she walks up to Albert's cot to stand beside me. "It's beautiful…you're really good with him." I find myself smiling as I brush a stray curl out of his sleeping face. He has the same curly hair as JJ, and despite not being his biological son he seems to look like him more and more every day. I'll never have that. I'll never have a child of my own.

I've had a few glasses of wine and it's been a hell of a long day. Everything's just getting on top of me as I feel tears pricking at my eyes. I don't really want to let Naomi see me cry but since she's standing right behind me I don't have much of a choice. I turn around, intending to snap at her simply for being there, but instead I see the look of pity in her eyes and it's all too much. Instead of berating her I wrap my arms around her and sob in to her stands there like a fucking robot for a moment before her arms wrap around me.

I eventually pull away from her and wipe at my eyes. My usual front slips back in to place and I play the role of mouthy bitch with ease. "You tell anyone about this and I'll fuck you up Campbell, yeah?" I hiss at her in a whisper so as not to wake up Albert. Once I'm satisfied she isn't going to tell anyone, and after one last check on Albert, I storm out of my room and head back to the living room. I take a seat beside Effy on the sofa and steal her wine from her. She takes in my smudged mascara and puffy eyes and doesn't say a word. When Naomi follows me back in a few moments later the only seat left is beside me on the sofa and I don't miss the smirk Effy sends her way. After a few more glasses of wine we're all pretty fucked and the more I drink the more I notice Naomi's thigh pressed up against mine on the sofa. It's sort of nice and I'm actually a little disappointed when Cook suggests going for a joint and the pressure against my thigh moves when she gets up. Fucking hell, get it together Fitch!

"Are you sure you're ok?" Lara asks me again after JJ calls it a night and goes to join Albert in my room. I'm bunking with Effy tonight so Lara and JJ can have my bed. I can think of someone else I'd rather be sharing a bed with tonight. Lara can read me pretty well, and though she doesn't know what Effy does she seems to be able to put all the pieces together. "Naomi is-"  
"The lying bitch who cheated on_ my_twin." I snap the well-rehearsed line that's being running through my head all night. Lara lets it drop, but I can tell she's not fooled. I'm not even fooling myself.

She kisses my cheek and says goodnight before she joins JJ in my bed. I go in to Effy's room and change in to the bedclothes I put in there earlier. I'm not big on wearing stuff to bed, but I can put up with the shorts and vest for one night. After all if a stoned and drunk Effy wanders in to her room and finds me naked in her bed she'll think it's Christmas. I go back out in to the living room to check to see if Cook or Naomi are staying over, knowing Effy she's probably offered the blonde her bed just to annoy me. When the three of them come down from the roof where they've been smoking and chatting for the last half hour I don't miss the way Cook leers at my tits, or the way he winks at Naomi.

She tries to roll her eyes at him like he's being a pig, which he is, but I catch her looking me up and down and she doesn't catch a word when I ask her if she's staying over. I ask a second time, raising my voice and scowling, it seems to be the only way to get through to her. **  
**"What?" She splutters and looks like she's just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She's stoned and her soft doe eyes still can't focus on my face, though they seem to have no trouble settling on other parts. "I uh…nothing. I wasn't doing anything-" "God you're fucking wasted." I shake my head at her and try to look down on her, though secretly I'm wondering whether I'd get away with crossing my arms and pushing my chest up without Effy realising what I was doing. Probably not to be honest.  
"I said what are you doing? Staying or going?" I repeat the question she missed earlier and she still doesn't understand what I'm asking. God she's baked.

"Staying where?"  
"Here you dozy cow. Are you staying over or going home?" I really hope she's going, because if she keeps looking at my chest I'm either going to slap her or put her fucking hand up my top just to get it out of the way. Of course that would be hard to explain away, not to mention Effy would never let it drop. Thankfully Naomi seems to get hold of her faculties and makes her excuses to leave. Effy follows her to the door and I'm left with just Cook ogling at my chest like a dirty old man.  
"Fuck off Cook!" I cover my chest with my arms and send him a glare that would have any grown man quaking in his boots. Cook just laughs it off as he winks at me.  
"Didn't mind Blondie looking, did ya?"  
"Drop dead Cook." As come backs go it's not the wittiest, but I can't think of anything else to say. My brain is currently in my pants and I now know what it's like to be James Cook.

I go back in to Effy's room and climb in to her bed. Cook might be a tosser, but he's right. I didn't mind Naomi staring, and with the fucking ache between my legs right now I wouldn't mind her coming back to take a closer look either. Unfortunately when the bedroom door opens it's Effy that slips in to bed beside me. She shoots me that infuriating little smirk of hers and I know exactly what's coming. "Looks like you need to scratch an itch."  
"Fat fucking chance." I huff at her, taking my frustration out on her. Don't get me wrong, Effy's a good shag, but that was a onetime thing, besides if Naomi is an _itch_ then she's one I've learnt to ignore.  
"You might have more of a chance than you think."

"Why, because if she squints her eyes she might think it's Emily she's fucking?" I growl out, in no mood for Effy's games. She's used to my sharp tongue though and laughs it off.  
"Yeah, maybe if you can keep your mouth shut for five minutes."  
"I don't want to fuck Naomi, ok? I don't even want to fucking see that bitch again!" I roll over to face away from her, in a shitty mood and sick of talking about Naomi. Effy scoots up behind me and presses her lips to my neck.  
"Pity, because I think Naomi has an itch to scratch too…and it sure as fuck isn't Emily."


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey babes." I force a smile on to my lips as I walk in to the café Effy's asked me to meet her at and find Naomi sitting across from her. I shove my sunglasses up on to my head as I take a seat beside them. "Naomi."  
"Katie. Made any more models toothless lately?" She smirks at me over the rim of her coffee cup and I'm glad to waffle on about work as I reach for the coffee Effy's had waiting for me. **  
**"Four hours I was waiting around this morning to get fucking half an hour of shots! If I never see a fucking model again…"  
"Don't you have that party tonight? I can't make it by the way." Effy says it like it's no big deal, like she hasn't just dropped me in the shit. She knows how much this party means to me tonight. It's a chance to get more work and get my name out there.  
"What? You fucking promised Eff!"

"Take Naomi. You don't have plans right?" I'm going to fucking kill Effy. I swear it. What bit of 'I don't want to see that fucking bitch again' didn't she understand? She might have chosen to forget what I said last night, but her words are still weighing on my mind. I watch as Naomi opens her mouth to answer but she doesn't make a sound as she tries to think of an excuse for why she can't come. For once Naomi Campbell is speechless.  
"I suppose she'll have to do."  
"Gee, thanks Katie." She rolls her eyes at me.  
"It's a launch part for a new fashion line, so try and dress like a normal person, ok?" I glare at her and have every right to. She's almost twenty one and she's sitting there wearing a fucking t-shirt with a smurf on. "Hmm, might be tricky, I'm not sure I can actually dress myself." She snaps at me, obviously trying to be sarcastic. It backfires on her. If I've got to put up with her tonight then I'll make damn sure she's dressed properly.  
"You're right. I'll come by yours at six and pick something out." Her face is a fucking picture as she realises she's just dropped herself in it.  
"Wait I didn't say I'd-"  
"Right that's sorted. I'll see you guys later, I've got another shoot in half an hour." I shoot off before she can talk her way out of it. I glare at Effy as I go.

My mood doesn't get much better when I get to my next shoot, which is in a barn in the middle of a muddy field. It's a shoot on Heritage fashion for a glossy magazine and as much as I want to just go home and veg out for the afternoon the fee for this one shoot alone will pay for the dress I splashed out on for tonight. "Hey Kat!" I try not to roll my eyes as Gia, one of the models, saunters over while I'm setting up my equipment. I fucking hate her calling me that and she knows it. She takes a seat on one of the hay bales that we're using for the shoot and tips her head back with a smirk. "Fancy a roll in the hay?" There's no denying Gia is an attractive woman, with her olive skin and short dark hair, but I've been there once before and I don't see the attraction of repeat performances. Of course when I said no to her after the first time she took it as a challenge and she's been trying to get back in my pants ever since.

For a moment I contemplate taking her up on her offer, it's been a while since I've had a roll in the hay with anyone, but I've got to get ready straight after work if I want to go around Naomi's early and help her dress like a normal person. "No thanks." I dismiss her again and she takes it on the chin, trying to act all cool about it even though I know it pisses her off that I won't sleep with her again.  
"Fair enough. Are you going to that party at the Avon tonight?" She carries on pestering me as I try to find the lens I need for the shoot. "I've booked a room if you want to join me…" She runs a perfectly manicured hand along my arm and I almost drop my camera.  
"I'm going with someone." I snap back at her, wishing she'd just take the hint and fuck off.

"Are they fit?" She asks and I feel my stomach clench at the thought of Gia going after Naomi. She's a fucking model and I think Naomi's proven in the past that her brain is in her pants. "We could always make it a party for three?" I wrinkle my nose at Gia and force a laugh.  
"Are you kidding? It's my fucking sister's ex. I wouldn't shag that bitch if someone paid me!" No, I'd happily do it for free. I'm turning down a night in a posh hotel with a woman who will no doubt be a super model by the end of the year, to instead spend time with Naomi Campbell, who fucking hates me. Effy's right, I really fucking need to scratch that itch. "Can you just go finish your makeup so we can get started?"

The shoot mercifully goes without a hitch and I manage to get home with plenty of time to get ready. I dump my equipment in my room and head in to the living room to check on Effy. She's spread out across the sofa and barely looks up from the TV as I walk in. "You're welcome!" She calls after me as I get a can of diet coke out of the fridge. She sits up with a smirk as I frown at her.  
"For what?"  
"You, Naomi, party, lots of drink, maybe some drunken sex… you're welcome." I roll my eyes at her as I push her legs down from the sofa and take a seat beside her.  
"For the last time, I am not fucking Naomi! She's Emily's fucking ex."  
"_Ex_-actly." Effy smirks at me and I'm sorely tempted to slap her. I roll my eyes instead and get up to have a shower, muttering 'dork' under my breath as I go.

After a long hot shower I go back in to my room and do my hair and makeup while I sit in front of my mirror wrapped in a towel. I tie my hair up in an elegant bun, going for the sophisticated look. I change in to my new dress. It's a simple yet sexy little black dress that sits just above my knee. I've just had my tan topped up so my bare legs look killer when I slip my feet in to my heels. I pick up my purse and go back in to see Effy, to ask her opinion on the dress. "How do I look?" I do a little twirl in front of her and she whistles.  
"Very fuckable, Naomi will love it."  
"Fuck off." I roll my eyes at her; but I bite my lip as I turn around to leave, secretly hoping Effy's right.

I take a taxi to Naomi's, not wanting to leave my car there overnight. The last time I was here was when dad lost our house and I ended up living with Naomi and Emily for a bit. It had been the worst week of my life, with mum tearing chunks out of dad and Emily and Naomi barely speaking to one another, it had hardly been a happy house. When I knock Gina answers the door. She calls me Emily and it's only as I'm making my way up the stairs that she realises her mistake. "Sorry Katie luv!" I find my way to Naomi's room from memory and find her standing in a towel with her hair hanging around her shoulders in loose wet ringlets.

It's fucked up but the first thought that comes to mind is that she's naked under that towel and I get straight to work finding her some clothes before I do something stupid like rip her towel off her. She doesn't have much in her wardrobe; I guess she's kept most of it in London. I notice a few things of Emily's still in her wardrobe but don't mention it. I cluck my tongue and shake my head at nearly everything I pull out. When I find that horrible old flowery shirt of hers I crack up laughing. "I can't believe you actually wore that thing." I toss it aside and smirk at the embarrassment written all over Naomi's face. "I suppose you're dressing a little better now after all."I eventually find something suitable for her to wear. A white blouse and a black ruffle shirt that will go well together. The blonde rolls her eyes as I thrust them at her and order her to change in to them. "Oh, and curl your hair!" I shout over my shoulder as I make my way out of the room to let her change. She snaps something back at me but I don't hear her clearly through the door. I sit downstairs with Kieran and Gina waiting for her to get ready. She takes her sweet time, but it's definitely worth it as she walks in to the living room and my jaw almost drops to the floor. She looks proper fit and I'm glad I came over to help her get ready; god knows what she would have worn otherwise. Probably a fucking plaid shirt or something.

Gina praises her daughter and asks where we're going and I can't help but boast about the exclusive party. "It's on the roof of the Avon George Hotel. It's overlooking the river and super exclusive!" I'm lucky I even got an invite at all. I worked with a pretty important designer a few months back who took an interest in my work and recommended me to a few people, because of him the name Katie Fitch is starting to become a popular one.

Once Naomi's finished faffing with her hair we finally get a taxi to the hotel down by the riverside. It's packed with photographers and jealous onlookers that watch in envy as we make our way up the red carpet and hand our ID over to the attendee at the door. The stout man looks ready to piss himself laughing as he checks Naomi's ID. "Very good Miss Fitch, Miss Campbell." Fuck, I should have thought about that. I've brought Naomi Fucking Campbell to a party with the country's top models and designers. Everyone's going to get a good laugh out of her name, and it's not just my reputation I'm worrying about; I know how pissed off Naomi gets about her name. The last thing I want is her in a sour fucking mood all night.

"Right, ground rules!" I snap as we get in to the lift that's going to take us up to the roof where the main event is happing. I ignore the startled look of the attendant in the lift. "No getting pissed, no trying to pull and _try _not to embarrass me, yeah? Oh and for fuck-sake, don't tell anyone your full name." She pulls a face, obviously thinking I'm saying all of this to protect myself, but she has no idea what these kind of parties can be like and I don't want her getting on the wrong side of some highly strung model or yuppie designer.

"We're going to a party with free drinks and fit models and you expect me not to try to pull?" She snaps back at me and I think of Gia waiting upstairs, knowing she'll take an interest in Naomi the second I walk through the door with her; the thought of Gia trying to get her in to bed pisses me off more than Naomi arguing back with me.  
"Keep it in your fucking pants Campbell! Besides, if you saw half of those fucking models without their makeup on you wouldn't look twice."

When we hit the roof I start playing the crowd, trying to network and get myself some more contracts. Naomi stands beside me drinking free champagne and it's the quietest I've ever seen her. I try to include her in the conversation, introducing her as my friend, but after a while I can tell she's getting bored and when she wanders off to the bar I don't object. I keep a careful eye on her as I start talking to a couple of magazine editors I've worked with before, hoping to win some more work. I can't pay attention to them though as I spot Naomi pulling out her ID for the barman and see him cracking up. I expect her to kick off and get ready to go over and smooth things out when I spot Gia swiping her ID from her hand.

Excusing myself from the conversation I make my way over to Naomi and Gia. I can't deny I'm a little jealous of the way Naomi's looking at her. I didn't miss the way she looked at me when I walked in to her room, but that was different. When she looks at Gia she doesn't see a bitch who spread rumours about her in high school, or the mirror image of her ex. She's looking at her like she wants to fuck her and I really wish she'd look at me like that. As much as I've denied it to Effy I really do still want to fuck Naomi Campbell senseless; but I'll never get the chance.

So when I see Gia leaning over her, her lips brushing against Naomi's ear as she whispers something to her it boils my blood. If I can't get what I want then Gia sure as hell won't either. **  
**"Hey babe, Naomi's not bothering you is she?" I narrow my eyes at the blonde, because the last thing I want is her thinking this is about me being flashes me a less than sincere smile as she pulls back from Naomi.**  
**"No, actually I was just asking if she was free tomorrow night-"**  
**"She's not." I snap and my voice is a little more tense than I intended. I glare at Naomi, daring her to challenge me. It's late and we've both had too much free champagne, I don't want to still be here when Naomi kicks off at me for cock blocking her again. I think she's still pissed about that skanky barmaid from the other night. "We're leaving."**  
**

Naomi doesn't object but I can see how tight her jaw is, she's going to kick off I just know it. Gia shrugs like it's not the second time she's been turned down today and hands Naomi one of her business cards with another smirk in my direction. I stare Gia down as I take Naomi's hand and lead her to the lift. Thankfully she waits until the doors close behind us to kick off. "What the fuck was that?" Her eyes narrow on me and her full lips set themselves in a scowl.  
"What, you fucking trying it on with one of my friends?" I shout back at her, because it's the only way I can stop myself from pushing her up against the wall and biting her bottom lip. "Remember the rules? No fucking pulling!"

I'm shouting at the top of my voice when I realise her eyes aren't narrowed on my face; they're on my chest. Naomi Campbell is fucking perving on me! I think about pulling her on it, wondering where it might lead, but she slams her hand against the emergency stop button and the lift lurches to a stop. **  
**"What the fuck does it matter to you if I pull or not? The barmaid, Gia, I mean what the fuck Katie? Are you jealous or something? Do you want a shag, is that it? Afraid you're missing out on something Emily's had-"

I am jealous. I hated her flirting with Gia, just like it pissed me off to see her with that barmaid in the club. Yes, I fancy, Naomi Campbell, and I might not have been totally honest with Effy. I don't just want to fuck Naomi, it goes a little deeper than that; but I'm not about to admit that to Naomi and I'm not going to let her get away with her comments either. I slap her cheek, hard enough to leave a red mark, stopping her mid-rant. I glare at her and she looks stunned.

She just doesn't get it. She was supposed to love Emily and they were supposed to be together. Emily wasn't the only one who fucking noticed Naomi when we were kids, she wasn't the only one who felt confused about girls and who she was attracted; the only difference was she got what she wanted. I stood back and I _let_ her take Naomi because she wanted her back; because Naomi never looked at _me_the way she looked at Ems. I was a good fucking sister and I let them be together; ok I might have been a bitch about it, but I was pissed off too. I couldn't be nice to Naomi back then, not without her finding out how I felt. So I did my best to make her hate me. I just think it worked a little too well.

And to top it all off she went and broke my sister's fucking heart! She made Ems leave me and she fucked off too; they both fucking left me. "It fucking matters ok? You and Emily were supposed to last! While the rest of us were fucking everything up, you two were supposed to be forever! But you fucked it up didn't you? Couldn't keep it in your fucking pants! You broke Emily's fucking heart and she left because of_ you_! She left me in this shit hole to deal with mum and dad and Effy. She left _me!"_I slam my hand against the button to the start the lift again. My stomach's in knots and I can barely breathe. I think I'm close to having a panic attack and I don't want to say something I'm going to regret.

There's another reason I'm angry with her too, because when she ran away, just like she always did, she forgot about the rest of us. About me and Effy; and Freddie. She hasn't been home in two years and she seems to have forgotten what tomorrow is. It's not fair that she gets to forget. "And you do have plans…In case you forgot, we fucking buried Freddie two years ago tomorrow!"

She has the sense to look ashamed and she's as quiet as a mouse in the taxi on the way back. She looks lost in her thoughts and I'm still too angry to talk without shouting so I let the silence persist. When the taxi pulls up outside my flat Naomi's still sitting there like she's in a coma and I feel a little bad about how harsh I was on her. "Are you fucking coming or what?" I snap at her.  
"Uh, yeah." She fumbles with the seat belt and follows me upstairs to my apartment.

I kick off my heels at the front door and toss my handbag on to the kitchen bench. I climb on to bench and take out my secret stash of Jack Daniels from the top of one of the cupboards. I hide it from Effy so I always know I'll have some set aside after a rough day. Today definitely qualifies. I fill two glasses and hand one to Naomi. She knocks it back in one and grimaces at the taste. Straight whisky is an acquired taste. I top her glass up and carry the bottle over with me to the sofa. She silently follows me and I just wish she'd say something already.

"I can't believe it's been two years." I finally get my wish as she speaks.  
"Yeah." I mumble back. She'd believe it had been two years if she'd spent every day of it watching over Effy, making sure she didn't freak out and try and kill herself again. She's a lot better than she used to be, but this time of year always gets her down and I've been trying to keep an eye on her a bit more again. I asked Cook to take her out tonight, to try and keep both their minds off Freddie's memorial tomorrow.

"It must be hard for Eff-"  
"Yeah, poor Effy." I sneer and finish off my drink. I go straight for the bottle instead of topping it up. This time of year's hard for me too. Effy wasn't the only one who lost him. I loved Freddie too. He was a distraction at first, something to take my mind off the girl who didn't want me back, but despite everything that went on with Freddie I still cared about him. I still cried the night we found out what had happened, but I had to be the first one to stop crying, to pull myself back together and help Effy to do the same. "What about me? I lost him too you know! I fucking loved him Naomi..."I don't want to cry in front of her but I can't help it. I take another swig from the bottle before she snatches it away from me and helps herself to a long sets the bottle down and puts an arm around me. I shift my position and bury my face in the side of her neck. Her other arm wraps around me and she tries to calm me down as she mutters in my ear. She's trying to make me feel better and as wrong as it is just having her cuddling me is enough to make me stop crying. I've never admitted it to Effy or anyone else, but I've been in love with Naomi Campbell for longer than I can remember. Emily wasn't the only Fitch whose attention she caught back in middle school; but she was the only one she kissed. _Fuck! _I can't do this. I can't have her here. I lift my head up to ask her to leave, but don't get the words out as her lips press against mine.  
**  
**For a moment I'm too stunned to do anything. Naomi's kissing me. She's actually fucking kissing me and I've been waiting so long for this that I forget about the consequences, about Emily and everyone else and for once I think about myself and kiss her back. I move so that I'm straddling her and carry on kissing her. She sighs in to my lips and the tiny noise is enough to bring me to my senses. I pull back, suddenly terrified about what's going to happen, about what she's going to say; except she kissed me first. So I slap her again. I raise my hand to push myself up against the back of the sofa, but she thinks I'm going to hit her again and she grabs hold of my wrist, making me lose my balance. I lurch forward and she crushes her lips against mine again, keeping a firm grip on my wrist so I can't pull away. I try and wrestle my arm free but in all honesty I'm not trying that hard and I'm still kissing her back.

I'm sick of her having the upper hand so my free hand snakes around the back of her head and I tug at her hair, yanking her head back. She whimpers in to my mouth and it's the sexiest fucking thing I've ever heard. My tongue brushes against her lip, drawing out her whimper as I deepen the kiss. She gets the message and lets go of my wrist, so I stop pulling her hair, but neither of us stops kissing the other.

Her hands make their way on to my legs, which are still wrapped around her thighs. If I had any sense I'd stop her, but I don't, so her hand slides higher, under my dress and up along my thigh. I busy my own hands with the buttons on her blouse, but my fingers are shaking as I try to undo them. I can't believe I'm actually going to do this, that _we're _actually doing this. I pout as I can't get more than the first one undone and Naomi smirks as she sits forward and nips at my lip. My eyes flutter shut and my hips grind down against her. Fuck, that really gets me going.

Her hand's still under my dress and the movement causes it to brush up against my centre. She deliberately flexes her fingers again and my hips grind down as I moan in to her mouth. I crush my lips against hers, kissing her hard as I push her down against the sofa and lie down over her.

"Katie-kins!" Fucking Cook! Shit, shit, shit! I almost fall over as I scramble to get up. I adjust my dress as Naomi buttons up her shirt and somehow we manage to look presentable when Cook walks in. He reeks of stale beer. "Naoms! Alright, who's up for a party?""I'm going to bed." I snap, my voice strained as I look anywhere but at Naomi. We both know what just happened was wrong and her face says it all. I make my excuses and head to my room. I bump in to Effy on the way and she takes one look at my swollen lips and knows exactly what Cook just interrupted.  
"Scratching an itch?" I don't acknowledge her question and slam my door so hard behind me that the hinges rattle.I can't believe what I've just done, how close I was to fucking my twin's ex-girlfriend. I need to keep away from her; except we're all supposed to be going to Freddie's shed tomorrow to remember him and I can't get out of it. I change and climb in to bed and try to think of anything other than Naomi Campbell as my hand slips under my shorts.  
"Katie?" There's a knock at my door and thank god Effy didn't just burst in like she usually does.  
"What?" I grumble as she slips in to my room and climbs in to bed beside me.  
"Cook's staying over tonight. I said he could have my bed, so I'm bunking in here with you." _Fuck no_. The pressure between my legs is unbearable and if I don't get off tonight I'm going to scream. Of course saying no to Effy is like talking to a brick wall so she settles in for the night and I'm screwed.

I lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling and my lips move of their own accord. "I've been in love with Naomi since we were fourteen." I lie in the darkness waiting for her to say something; anything. I jump as I feel her lips press against my cheek.  
"That's not an itch you should scratch Katie." She sighs and I think maybe she's talking about Freddie. I know she still blames herself for what happens. She thinks that if she hadn't loved him back he would still be alive.  
"What am I supposed to do?" I feel tears slipping down my cheek again as I turn over and cuddle in to Effy. As much as I've taken care of her she's been my rock these past couple of years too. I don't know what I'd do without her. She always knows what I need and tonight is no exception.

"Start by making yourself feel good." She whispers in my ear and I think I'm about to make another mistake tonight as her hand replaces mine under my shorts.


	5. Chapter 5

God I drank far too much last night. I _really_need to stop drinking whisky. I also need to stop waking up naked in bed with one of my best friends. Effy's still curled up beside me, fast asleep. It's only the second time we've fucked each other, the first was this time last year, on the first anniversary of Freddie's funeral. It's starting to become something of a habit. I suppose it could have been worse; I could have ended up waking up beside Naomi this morning. At least when Effy wakes up it's not going to be all weird. Sex isn't a big deal to Effy. It's just sex, a way to feel good when your head's fucked up; and this time of year Effy's head is more fucked up than usual.

Mine isn't feeling much better right now, and it's not just the drink. I can't believe I fucking kissed Naomi back last night. Seven fucking years I've managed to hide how I feel about her and one stupid kiss is going to screw everything up! It's all _her_fault; as usual! Why can't she just stay the hell away from my family?

Effy starts to stir beside me and I roll on to my side to face her. There's a moment, in the mornings, when she wakes up and just for a moment she looks peaceful. For a few seconds each day she's forgotten all about Foster and Freddie and all the other shit in her life; but it doesn't last long and as she blinks away the fog of sleep her mask of indifference slips over her face and she's ready to face a new day. "Hey." She croaks as she rolls over to face me, resting her head on her arm. "What time is it?"  
"Late." I grumble as I check my mobile. I've got a text from Lara and a missed call from Emily. I decide I'll call her later and toss my phone back down beside me. "We're supposed to be at Karen's in like two hours." We've slept most of the day away and my legs feel stiff as I climb out of bed.

"Good." Effy rolls back over and pulls the blanket over her head. She'll probably climb out of bed an hour before we're meant to leave and be mortal by the time we get to the shed. She'll drink herself in to oblivion so she doesn't have to think about Freddie. I leave her in my bed as I pull on my dressing gown and go check on Cook. He doesn't handle this time of year any better. Sure enough when I walk in to the living room he's sitting in his boxers on the sofa, drinking what's left of my Jack Daniels. His eyes are red and unfocused. He's either just woken up, he's stoned, or he's been crying; maybe all three.  
"You two sleeping beauties finally up then? Drink?" He holds the bottle out towards me but I shake my head at him. I'm not in the mood to drink. I'll probably take the car over to Karen's tonight.

"Me and Eff are gonna hit town later if you fancy it?"  
"Do you think that's a good idea? Ef's-"  
"Effy needs a distraction." Cook cuts me off like he knows best and I want to slap him. He wasn't even around when Effy was coping with Freddie's death. When she was trying to hurt herself so often that they had to sedate her for days on end. Cook's been out of prison for about six months and he's spent most of that time drunk or high. I think he's on a mission to drink himself to death and I don't want him dragging Effy down with him. "She's a big girl Katie, she doesn't need a babysitter."

"Fuck off Cook." I roll my eyes at him and sulk off back to my bedroom. I've got enough on my plate without him being a dick. I've spent the last two years looking after Effy, picking her up after every knock down, holding her hand and getting her through one day at a time. She's doing better now, and I won't have Cook fucking her life up again. Just like I won't let this thing with me and Naomi get in the way of Freddie's day. "Put some fucking pants on Cook! And call Campbell; tell her not to be late tonight!" I slam my bedroom door behind me and Effy jumps with a start. I flop back in to bed and let out a sigh. I'm really not looking forward to tonight, but I've got to go, for Effy and for Freddie. I meant what I said to Naomi last night. I really did care about him too, and I know he'd want me looking after Effy, keeping her safe. Right now looking after her involves pulling the blankets off her and ordering her in to the shower.

Somehow we all manage to be ready in time to go over to Karen's for six and I drive the three of us over. We're the first ones there and we find Karen alone in the shed. She's already started drinking and Cook and Effy quickly join her. I ask Karen if she's got anything non-alcoholic since I'm driving and she curses. "Fuck, sorry Katie, I didn't think. JJ's going to want orange juice-"  
"It's ok. I'll nip out for some." I pass JJ on the way to the car and let him know I'll be back with something to drink in five. Lara's at home with Albert, she knew Freddie, but not well enough to impose. I might drop JJ off home later and pop in to see her. Along with Effy she's my best friend and I know she'll listen to me whinge about Cook and Naomi and everything else that's pissing me off.

By the time I go to the shop and get back to the shed I find Naomi standing outside of it. She's standing there staring at the door of the shed like it's about to bite her. It's not like the shed holds many fond memories for her. It was here that she poured her heart out to Emily, admitted she had loved her since she was twelve; only to be shot down by Ems and told it was too late. I don't think it's just memories of Emily that's stalling her though. "Are you just going to fucking stand there all night or what?" I snap at her, and she jumps. Her eyes widen as they land on me and a blush spreads over her pale cheeks.  
Katie-"  
"Save it Campbell. Tonight's about Freddie, yeah?" The last thing I want is to be having a conversation about what happened last night so I shove past her in to the shed, hoping she gets the the shed it's dark and the smell of weed is overpowering. The others are all sprawled around on the tatty old chairs and upturned crates. Effy already looks wasted as she pulls Naomi down for a hug and ends up pulling her on to her lap. She shoots me a pointed smirk behind Naomi's back and I roll my eyes back at her just as Naomi glances my way and catches me. Fuck. As if things weren't awkward enough. Cook hands her a beer and she moves so she's perched on the arm of the chair. I take a seat beside Karen and end up picking up a beer instead of the coke I've just bought. One won't hurt and I need something to take the edge off. While the rest of them share stories about Freddie and roar with laughter, particularly Cook who has already had too much, I sit quietly ripping at the label on my bottle. We're supposed to be here for Freddie, but all I can think about is the blonde sitting across from me. She can't look me in the eye and hasn't said a word to me since I got here. God knows what she's thinking, but at the end of the day _she_kissed me first. I might have wanted to kiss her since we were fourteen but I wasn't the one who started it last night.

I remember when I first noticed her. We'd been at the same middle school for a couple of years and I'd never really noticed her much. She was quiet and kept to herself, but one night she turned up at the same house party as us. She'd had on this pretty summer dress with her hair loose and curled and she had looked absolutely stunning. I'd tried to talk to her, but she'd just looked down on me with those big blue eyes of hers and walked off. Later that night I found Emily kissing her and I went mental. I wasn't used to being second best. I was the one who always got the attention, not Emily. Of course it made more sense all those years later when Naomi had stood in this very shed, pouring her heart out. She'd already been in love with Emily that night, had been for years before I'd even noticed her. I'd never had a chance.

I'm really not in the mood to be around the others right now. I'm tired and cranky and it's Effy's fault for slipping in to my room last night. She looks happy though and it's nice to see a genuine smile on her face as she's surrounded by people who love her. She catches me looking at her and offers a knowing smile. She knows exactly where my attention is tonight. I just can't get my mind off Naomi. When you've denied yourself something for so long and it throws itself at you, and slides a hand under your skirt, it's pretty hard to just forget about it.

By the time we all decide to leave the dark dank shed is like an icebox and I'm more than ready for my nice warm bed at home. Shame I've got it all to myself tonight. Effy and Cook declare they're going on to a club and try to get Naomi to go with them, but she declines. She looks just as tired and distracted as I am and it makes me wonder just what's on her mind right now. Is she thinking about last night? About just how close we came to fucking on that sofa? I'm pulled out of my own thoughts as Effy comes up to me to give me a hug and whispers in my ear.  
"You should scratch that itch. It might put a smile on your face." She winks at me and it rubs me up the wrong way. She's already off her tits and I don't like the idea of Cook dragging her off to a club; but Cook's right, she's a big girl and I can't keep coddling her forever. I squeeze Cook a little too tightly as I hug him and hiss a warning in his ear that lets him know just what I'll do to him if anything happens to Effy.

When I pull away from Cook I'm facing Naomi and thoughts of _scratching that itch _flash through my mind. I could offer her a lift home and see where it leads, but I've already promised JJ a lift home and said I'll pop in to see Lara. "Good night." I snap at her a little too harshly and don't miss the flash of hurt on her face. I try to brush it off, but as I climb in to the car all I think about is the look she had in her eyes last night, when she'd crushed her lips against mine. Her eyes hadn't been glazed over or unfocussed, she hadn't been looking at me and seeing Emily; her sharp blue eyes had been intently focused. She had been kissing me, not Emily. For a second I feel a little flicker of hope in the pit of my stomach and I'm so distracted that I almost drive past JJ's house."Are you coming in Katie?" He questions as we pull up outside and as much as I'd like to see Lara I shake my head and promise to pop over in the morning to see her and Albert. JJ waves cheerily as I drive off, but my attention is elsewhere. When I get home I toss my keys on the table by the door and go straight to the kitchen to dig out my other secret stash of drink. The whisky burns my throat as it goes down and spreads a fire in my stomach that burns away the last of my resolve. "Fuck it." I pull out my phone and scroll through my contacts, bringing up Naomi's name to send a text. I bite my lip, trying to think of what to say to get her here. A life time of being a bitch comes in useful as I type a short sharp message that will guarantee she comes over.

'_We need to talk. Get your arse here or I'll tell Ems." _

I have no intention of telling my twin that I kissed her ex, but I know it will scare the shit out of Naomi and get her over here. I sit waiting for her to text back or to call, sipping at whisky and biting my nails. When the buzzer goes ten minutes later I almost jump out of my skin. She's actually come over. Taking a deep breath I stride over to the door and buzz her in. I'm shaking as I hear the front security door slam shut downstairs and try my best to appear nonchalant as I lean against the door frame. I've got no idea what I'm going to say to her; I didn't actually think that far ahead. I just wanted to see her again. I scowl at her out of habit as she approaches me. She looks fucking terrified; and gorgeous.

"Katie-"  
"Shut up Campbell!" I surprise both of us by pushing her up against the door frame and kissing her. Her mouth opens in shock and I take the chance to deepen the kiss, my tongue clashing against hers. After a moment of just standing there she finally reacts. Her arms wrap around my waist and her lips start moving at the same time as our legs stumble backwards, in to the flat. She pulls away and her eyes are wide as she looks at me with that same lustful look she wore last night. I feel the throbbing between my legs increase tenfold and cut her off when she tries to talk again.  
"Katie-"  
"You're not here for a fucking conversation Campbell." I bite down on her lip and she whimpers again. It's my new favourite sound.

I lead her the short distance down the hall to my room and slam the door behind as I carry on pressing her forwards. The back of her legs hit the edge of my bed and I see a flash of doubt across her face. I shove her down hard and climb on top of her, my lips finding hers again. She moans as my tongue slides against hers again and my hips grind down, trying to draw the sound out. I tug off her shirt and push her bra up and I finally tear my lips away from hers to explore the newly exposed skin. My tongue flicks against her hardening nipple before I take it in to my mouth, deliberately letting my teeth graze against it while my other hand rubs between her legs, teasing her through her jeans. They _really _need to come off.

Naomi has the same idea and within minutes we're a tangle of arms and legs as we pull the rest of our clothes off. The second my bra comes off Naomi sits up to pay my breasts the same attention I paid hers. Her mouth eagerly explores my ample chest as her hands find my hips. I'm still sitting straddling her and one of my own hands lips between her open legs. She's still wearing her underwear and I'm too impatient to wait for her to remove them for me. I run a teasing finger under the thin material, teasing at her already wet folds. She doesn't notice, she's too distracted, and her eyes are closed over. For a moment an ugly thought runs through me; that with her eyes closed she might be thinking of Emily and not me. It pisses me off and I want her eyes open. I want her to know _exactly_ who is fucking her and I want to hear her whimpering _my _name. I thrust a finger deep inside of her and it gets her attention. "Fuck!" She gasps and her hand grabs my wrist as her entire body tenses. It doesn't feel like she's done this for a while and I try to help her relax by rubbing my thumb against the bundle of nerves at her centre. Her muscles only tighten around my finger as I build up a slow constant rhythm. "K-Katie!" My name finally passes her lips in a desperate plea and I reward her by slipping a second finger inside. I go a little faster, but not fast enough to get her off. I've been waiting years for this and I intend on drawing it out.

She tries to press her legs together when I pick up the pace and I have to use my knees to spread them apart again. She seems to be forgetting just who's in charge right now and I intend to remind her as I push her down so she's lying flat on her back and add a third finger; filling her as I slam fingers deeper and deeper inside of her. She stares up at me with those wide blue eyes and swollen lips, with her platinum curls framing her face as she pants and gasps, every little noise turning me on even more.

I feel her body starting to tense as she gets closer and closer to coming and I replace my thumb on her clit with my mouth. She gasps as I playful nip, flick and suck at her sensitive numb, and I finally tip her over the edge. I smirk as she screams my name and once I've finished drawing out every ripple of her orgasm I slip up the bed and straddle her again as I kiss her. Her eyes are glazed over and don't seem to be focusing properly as she lazily kissed me back. After a while though she seems to wake up out of whatever sex-coma she's been in and her lips grow firmer against mine as she sits up and pushes me down on to my back.

Without a word she kisses a slow trail down from my lips all the way to my hips. She playfully nips at the flesh on the inside of my thigh and my entire body is _buzzing_ with anticipation as she gently spreads my legs. Her breath is hot and ragged as her head ducks between my legs and I gasp as her tongue darts out with teasingly light touches. "Fuck!" I throw my head back as she buries her face between my thighs without warning and sets about repaying me for my efforts. My nails dig in to her back and she hisses against me as I leave deep scratches down the length of it. She tilts her chin up to look me in the eye as a smirk spreads across her swollen lips and she runs her tongue up the length of mine.  
"You're gonna pay for that."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Bit of a longer chapter this time, covers chapters 6 & 7 of TDL. Once again thanks to everyone who's reading this and TDL and for encouraging me to continue with both.  
**

For the second day in a row I wake up with a pounding headache and a girl sleeping beside me in my bed. It's not just any girl though, it's Naomi Campbell; the one girl in the whole of fucking Bristol that's supposed to be off limits to me. My sister's ex. The girl I've had a crush on since I was fourteen. I lie on my side, watching her sleep and trying to decide what the fuck I'm going to do. Six years is a long fucking time to deny yourself something and if last night was a onetime thing then I sure as hell made the most of it. We were up half the night and I'm fucking exhausted. I can't sleep though. I've been wide awake since the moment I woke up, just watching her sleep. She's still naked and I can see the scratch marks on her back where the blanket has fallen away from her. The marks _I _made on her. If she wakes up and catches me staring at her she's going to think I'm some kind of fucking pervert or something; but like I said, six years is a long fucking time.

I hear the front door open and close and check the clock by my bed. It's almost 6am and Effy's only just stumbling through the door now. "Fuck sake." I mutter as I hear her crashing about in the kitchen. The last thing I need is her trying to use the oven and setting the place on fire. I press my lips to Naomi's cheek before I climb out of bed and pull on some clothes. If I stay in bed any longer I'm probably going to wake her up anyway.

I find Effy in the kitchen attempting to open a tin of beans with an ice cream scoop. She looks fucking wasted. God I hate it when she goes out with Cook. She always comes home in a state. I roll my eyes as I take the scoop away from her and toss it back in the drawer. "Oi!" She grumbles and she fucking reeks of drink, weed and god knows what else. I shove her down on to one of the chairs at the kitchen table and set about making her something to eat. I make us some coffee too, to sober her up and to keep me awake. "You're up early." Effy points out as I put a plate of beans on toast down in front of her and take a seat beside her with my coffee.

"Yeah…Naomi's in my bed." There's no point in lying about it, it's not like I'm going to be able to bundle Naomi out of the flat without Effy knowing about it.  
"Really? And what's she doing in there?" She asks in a sing-song voice and she's even more annoying when she's drunk.  
"What the fuck do you think she's doing?" I snap back as I nurse my coffee, wishing it was something stronger.  
"You fucked her then? Feeling better?"  
"What do you think?" I feel worse than ever. That's the worst thing about getting exactly what you want. One night of great sex and now I'm going to have a lifetime of not being able to look my sister in the eye. Me and Ems haven't really been on speaking terms for a while, not since she caught me in bed with Effy and kicked off about finding out I'm not as straight as I like people to think I am; but she's still my flesh and blood and I'd never want to see her hurt.

Then there's Naomi. What the fuck am I meant to say to her? _Oh yeah, by the way babes, I know you're still mad for my sister, and I've been a right cow to you, but I've fancied the fuck out of you for years. _God she's going to think I'm fucking pathetic!  
"Did you talk to her?" Effy seems to be sobering up as she munches on a slice of toast and stares at me like I'm on trial.  
"Fuck no!" And I never will! I'm not having her looking down on me, or fucking worse, pitying me. It was just a shag, a onetime drunken thing that isn't going to happen again. Naomi will fuck off back to London and Emily will never find out. "Don't you dare tell her anything Eff! It's fucking private! Don't even tell her you saw me! Just go to bed."

I grab my car keys and storm out of the flat. I can't stay there with Naomi asleep in my bed; I can't be around when she wakes up. So I head over to the only place I can go at this time of morning. The advantage of having friends with kids is that they're guaranteed to be up at the crack of dawn, so when I text Lara to tell her I'm heading over she has a cup of tea ready for me by the time I get there. "No offence sweetie, but you look like hell."  
"Thanks." I grumble as we take a seat in her living room and Albert happily sits down to play with the toys littered all over the floor. She's right of course; I literally climbed out of bed and pulled some clothes on. I'm not even wearing socks. "I've been up half the night."  
"Really? What's his or her name?" Lara smirks at me, she knows me all too well.

"Naomi." I admit with a sigh and her eyes widen. "I'm so fu-fudged." I stop myself from swearing in front of Albert. Lara knows all about what happened with Emily and Naomi, though she doesn't really know either of them. Emily only comes back to Bristol during the holidays and this is the first time Naomi's been back in two years.  
"Katie, she's your sister's ex!"  
"I know, I know!" I didn't come over for a lecture. I know I screwed up; I don't need anyone else telling me that. "I just couldn't help it! She kissed me the other night and I just couldn't get it out of my head…I invited her over last night and we…" I look down at Albert and I'm _so_ not finishing that sentence in front of him.  
"So did she stay over? Have you talked to her?"

"Uh, yes she did and no I didn't. She's still asleep in my bed. I just walked out when Eff got home… I mean what am I meant to say to her? She's going to think I'm a right freak!"  
"Since when has Katie _Fudging_ Fitch ever cared what other people think?" She smiles at me as she takes my hand and I feel tears welling up in my eyes.  
"I care what _she _thinks Lara…I…I…" I don't finish as Lara pulls me in for a hug and holds me as I sob in to her shoulder. Albert leaves the toy cars he's been ramming together and tugs at my leg.

"Why crying Katie?" I wipe at my eyes and bend down to scoop the little boy up in to my arms.  
"No reason kiddo." I ruffle his mop of blonde curls and force a smile.  
"Aunt Katie is just a little upset baby, why don't you go draw her a pretty picture to cheer her up?" Lara picks him up and puts him back down on the floor. She hates me petting him up all the time; but I can't help it, the little guy has me wrapped around his finger and between me and Cook I don't know who spoils him the most.

"So what are you going to do?" Lara quizzes once Albert has gone back to playing. I've been asking myself that since I woke up this morning.  
"I'll do what I do best." I hold my head up high and wipe away the last of my tears. "I'll be a…B-I-T-C-H." If it's one thing I'm good at it is pissing Naomi Campbell off.

I spend the morning at Lara's and only go home after lunch, when I'm certain Naomi will be gone. Except when Lara and I get to my front door it opens and Naomi's standing there staring at me. I'm not sure whether she'll try and bring up what happened last night in front of Lara, so I play dumb and hope she'll play along as I wrinkle my nose at her. "You look fucking shit…next time you have a bender with Effy and Cook try showering afterwards." She actually doesn't look bad for being hungover. Her soft blue eyes look dazed and she's been biting her lip since the door opened. Then my words hit her and her eyes narrow on me as she sticks her middle finger up at me.  
"Go fuck yourself Katie." I'd rather fuck her; Again.

"JJ and I are having everyone over for dinner tomorrow night if you'd like to come Naomi?" Lara pipes up, trying to dissolve the tension and I'm glad I've already declined her invitation to dinner tomorrow.  
"Sorry Lara, I've got plans with mum tomorrow. Maybe next time."**  
**"You should come. You've never tasted anything like Lara's cooking." Effy smirks as she comes up behind the blonde and looks straight at me. I don't like the idea of Naomi being left alone with Effy and Lara so I'm glad when she insists she can't and leaves with barely a glance my way.

"You know for two people who were up all night fucking you two sure are cranky." Effy smirks at me, knowing full well I will have already filled Lara in on what's going on. I roll my eyes at her as I slump on to the sofa with a face like thunder.  
"Maybe you should talk to her Katie?" Lara goes for the diplomatic approach likes she's trying to coax Albert to go to bed. Well I'm not a toddler and I can make my own decisions.  
"Maybe _both _of you should just forget about it, yeah?" I'm not talking to Naomi and I'm not talking _about _her full stop. She'll be back in London in a few weeks and out of my hair, then everything will go back to normal; and maybe in about twenty years I'll be able to look my sister in the eye again. Maybe.

* * *

The next morning I finish my shoot early and give myself the rest of the day off, that's one of the perks of being self-employed. I decide to take my mind off everything that's going on by taking Albert out to the park, except when I ring Lara to let her know I find out Albert's with JJ at the pub; with Cook and Naomi. I've already offered to take him though so I can't take it back, which is why I once again find myself facing the last person I want to see. The three of them are sitting at a picnic table in the beer garden when I pull up in my car and Cook whistles when I get out. "What do you think then Naoms? Seven, eight?"I know exactly what the prick is talking about; he tries to play the rating game with me all the time.

"Fuck off Cook. I'm a fucking ten and you know it!" His face splits with a grin as he howls at me.**  
**"Well you know Katie-kins I've yet to see the goods so I can't exactly give top marks now can I?" He looks at me like he's eyeing up some slut in a club and I'm tempted to slap the smirk off his face. I turn my attention to Albert instead and scoop the laughing little boy out of his father's arms. It's funny how good JJ is at being a dad, ever since Lara's ex died he's been raising Albert as his own and it's pretty amazing how well he copes with a baby. Albert's been good for him too, helping to bring him out of his shell and giving him something to focus on and stop him from getting locked on so much.  
**  
**"Hey little man, are you coming with auntie Katie?" He giggles up at me as he tugs on my chain and JJ fusses over his carry bag, ensuring everything I'll need is packed inside; knowing JJ there's probably a full first aid kit inside along with some emergency flares. **  
**"Lara's expecting him at four o'clock and she said to say she's not happy you're not coming for dinner."  
"Sorry JJ. I've got to go to this party last night. I've got a meeting lined up with a pretty major player. If I get the contract I'm going to Milan for..."I stop talking as I realise who I'm talking to, between the three of them Naomi probably has the most interest in fashion, and that really is saying something. "Anyway, I'll drop him off when I bring Effy over. Come on Albert, let's go to the park and play on the swings, yeah?"As I carry Albert back to my car I hear Cook trying to goad Naomi. "What about it Naoms? I'd do her…give off it! You would though!" Naomi's too softly spoken for me to catch watch she says back to him, but I catch her looking my way as the three of them head back in. I turn my back and refuse to acknowledge her as I fasten Albert in to his car seat. By the time I'm finished she's gone and I can stop holding my breath.

I'm glad JJ didn't mind me taking Albert for the day. It's nice to be able to spend the afternoon with an infant that is incapable of judging you or looking down on you. I don't have to put on a front with Albert or pretend to be something I'm not, because this little boy loves me no matter what and in his eyes I'm like a superhero; and that is the greatest feeling in the world. I'm never going to have kids of my own and I don't expect Emily will be popping babies out any time soon so I dote on Albert; probably a little too much if I'm honest. Lara hates me spoiling him but he's going to be starting nursery next year and I'm trying to make the most of the time I can get with him now. Lara appreciates the help too. It's hard work raising a toddler when you're only twenty years old and you don't have any family to help you. That could easily have been me if that hobbit I was seeing back in college had actually got me pregnant.

We spend the afternoon in the park and then I get him a new colouring book and some sweets for after his tea before I take him back to Lara a little after four. Once he's been fed JJ bribes him in to the bath with the promise of the sweets I bought him and a bed time story from his daddy, leaving me and Lara to catch up over a cuppa as she prepares what she's cooking for the others tonight. "You sure you can't make it tonight?" Lara tries again but it's no use. I hate missing out on spending time with her and the others, but I _really _need to land this Milan contract tonight…and ok, maybe it has a _little_ bit to do with the fact that Naomi's coming over too.  
"Sorry babes, I can't get out of this meeting.  
"Really? What if Naomi wasn't coming?" She teases. I roll my eyes at her, though unlike Effy she knows not to push it too far.  
"Then I'd still have this meeting. It's a pretty big opportunity and I need to take it."  
"Will Effy be ok by herself for the weekend? I can drop in on her if you want?"

I've been thinking about that. I hate leaving Effy alone at the best of times, but this time of year is the worst; so I'm going to ask Naomi to stay over in the flat with her. She might as well be useful to me for something and if it's not going to be in the way I _really _want her then I'm going to have to settle for using her to babysit Effy for me. I reassure Lara that I've got it covered, if it's one thing I'm good at it's getting people to do what I want. It shouldn't be too hard to talk Naomi in to living in my flat with Effy for the weekend, though it does mean I'm actually going to have to talk to her though.

I leave Lara and JJ's with plenty of time to go home and get ready and after promising Effy I'll pick her up later I fly back out the door to meet my manager and the client who is looking for a photographer to do a shoot for him in Malan. The meeting is some posh restaurant in town and I'm glad my manager Sean is footing the bill. We run through the concept with the client, Sean shows him some of my work and we generally have a pissing contest as we negotiate the price and other finer details. It's a long night made even longer by the fact that I haven't been drinking, so by the time I drive over to Lara's to pick Effy up I'm really not in the mood for games.

For someone who usually knows everything Effy is pretty oblivious to this when she offers Naomi a lift home. The blonde's eyes widen and she tries to insist that she can just get the bus home, but Effy doesn't let it drop and I end up with Naomi sitting behind me in the car. "Actually I'm really tired, can you drop me off first?" Effy flashes those big blue eyes like the request is totally innocent and I grumble under my breath at her cheap shot to get me alone with the very last person in the world that I want to be alone with right now. When Effy gets out it leaves the blonde sitting in the back. She keeps her eyes on her hands as she fidgets nervously and the tension in the car is thick enough to cut a knife.  
"Get in the front then. I'm not your fucking chauffer!" I snap at her, tired and pissed off with Effy. She scowls at me as she undoes her seatbelt and gets in to the front. I drive a Mini Cooper, which means there isn't a lot of space up front so her knee is practically pressing against mine the entire drive back to her house. For once Naomi Campbell manages to keep her mouth shut and I couldn't be happier about it when we pull up outside her house. I wait for her to get out, but she doesn't move. I eventually snap at her, trying to come across as bitchy as possible as I'm terrified she's going to bring up the other night.  
"What?"  
**  
**"So we're just going to pretend the other night didn't happen?" She finally blurts out, no longer able to keep her mouth shut. She seems just as on edge as I am and she's looking at me like I'm about to bite her head off. I should. I should shout my mouth off at her until she gets pissed off and gets out of my car. It would be so easy; I've practically got a degree in pissing Naomi off; but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's harder to put up an act with her after what happened the other night, that's why I've been hoping to avoid her. I just can't do it anymore. I can't. Instead I sit with my hands on the wheel, gripping it so hard that my knuckles start to go white as I stare out the windscreen; looking anywhere but at her.

"What do you want me to say Naomi? I was drunk ok?" It's the oldest excuse in the book, but I'm praying she buys it.  
"Why?" No such luck then.  
"Because I was tired and upset, ok? I spend every fucking day looking after Effy, looking out for signs she's going to go mental again, or watching Albert so Lara and JJ can have some time together. I was upset Naomi, I lost Freddie too and I miss him! But I can't cry or kick off about it. I just have to get on with it, for Effy's sake...sometimes...sometimes I just feel like I'm going to break. I just needed...needed someone, ok?" I fucking hate how bad my lisp gets when I'm upset, it's a weakness, just like the tears that are stinging at my eyes, and I don't want the girl sitting beside me to see me as weak. I don't want her pity.

"So you called me?"  
"Don't fucking flatter yourself Campbell." I try to laugh but I choke on a sob. She's smart and far too curious for her own damn good; so I kick up my bitchiness and try to blame it on her. "I wanted to fucking kick off with you about kissing me...then when you showed up I just...I just needed a release, you know? Scratch an itch." She winces at my choice of words; Effy's words. I've got a horrible feeling that Effy's been talking to her, sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. I'll have words with her when I get home.  
"Well if you ever need someone-" She looks up at me with those big blue eyes and she really needs to stop being nice to me.

"Dream on Campbell, that was a once in a fucking lifetime event so make the most of it perv!" Irritation flashes over her face and I know I'm finally getting somewhere.  
"I meant if you need to _talk._ Someone to talk to." She' gritting her teeth and doing her best to keep her tone level, even though I'm doing everything I can to piss her off. A couple of years ago she wouldn't have cared if I needed someone to talk to, she wouldn't have offered me a shoulder to cry on and she sure as hell wouldn't have kissed me.  
"Why? Why would _you_ do anything for _me_?" I just can't get my head around everything that's happened this past week. None of it makes sense.

"Why would you do anything for Eff?" She shrugs at me, and I don't think she can honestly answer that question herself. "We might not have been friends back then, and I know you hated me but-"  
"I didn't hate you." I'm supposed to be making her think _exactly_ that, but somehow sitting here with her I just can't bring myself to lie. "After you and Ems got together I didn't really mind you so much..." Until she hurt Emily; She cheated on my sister and I'm supposed to hate her for it like everyone else. Except I don't, and even back then I didn't. It's sick and I know it makes me a terrible person, but when I found out what was going on that day at the BBQ, when my family and my entire world was breaking apart around me, a tiny part of me hoped that they would split up; that'd I'd get_ my _chance with Naomi.

"You know where I am if you need me...to, you know, talk or whatever." That same hope sparks up inside of me again as she offers me a shoulder to cry on. I hadn't expected her to be so nice to me. I thought she'd be kicking off about what happened between us, screaming it was a mistake and begging me not to tell Emily; but she's not. She's different now, two years away at uni really has changed her, but not in a bad way. I think I'm falling in love with her all over again.  
"Thanks." I manage a smile as she gets out of the car and I have to make sure my hands are still gripping the steering wheel so I can't do something stupid like grab her and try to kiss her; that doesn't stop my mouth from doing something stupid though and my lips move before I can stop them, "Oh, and Naomi? We_ were_ friends… Sort of."


	7. Chapter 7

I tried to put Naomi and what happened between us out of my mind, I really did; but after a few days if ignoring her altogether and throwing myself in to working and spending time with Effy or Lara and Albert I'm alone in the flat and my fingers itch as I pick up my phone and just stare at it for a while before I finally give in. Naomi's offer to 'talk' is still fresh in my mind, but as I type out a quick text to her asking her to come over talking is the _last_thing on my mind. I don't have to wait long for a reply that tells me she's on her way over.

She must have taken a taxi over because in next to no time the buzzer's going off for the security door downstairs and I wait anxiously at the door for her to make her way upstairs. She seems to take forever like she's dragging her feet and by the time she reaches my landing I've managed to push down my anxiety and replace it with the mask of confidence I've been putting on my whole life.

Naomi looks less certain as she walks towards me. She's wearing sweats and a hoodie and her hair is damp and tussled from the rain making her look like she's just rolled out of bed and she looks fucking adorable. "Got your text, what's up-"I don't give her a chance to finish as I pull her inside the flat and push her up against the closed door. I kiss her and her hands go to my hips, pulling me in close against her. I feel a familiar ache between my legs the second her hands are on me and I can't believe I've managed to last three whole days without calling her. Right now I don't think I can wait three seconds to get her in to my bed. My hand clamps on to the waistband of her trousers and I feel her hiss as my nails scrape against her stomach. Her blue eyes are soft and glazed as our lips part and fuck it; we might not make it to my room never mind my bed.

"What happened to just needing someone to talk to?" She pants and I can't help but rolls my eyes at her. Like she really thought she was coming over to 'talk'.  
"If I want someone to talk to I've got Lara you daft cow." My words are harsh but they're softened by my teasing tone and my nails once again brushing against her stomach.  
"Ok…so what do you want from me?"Either she's fucking thick or she's trying to play me, to get me to admit exactly what I want from her. I'm not really sure myself right now to be honest. It's weird to want something for so long and then to suddenly get it. I'm not sure how far I want to take things; all I can think of is the soft skin underneath my fingers. "And I thought you were supposed to be smart Campbell." I smirk at her as I drag her the short distance down the hall to my room and I don't miss the way her eyes widen and her breathing grows faster as she anticipates what's about to happen.

"Katie-" Her voice shakes as the door closes. It's pretty late in the afternoon and the rain has already blocked out what little sunlight there is, so with the curtains drawn the room is in darkness as I pull her towards my bed, already tugging impatiently at her clothes. I toss her hoodie aside and kiss her, silencing her before she starts spouting why this is so wrong. I already know it's wrong, but as I shove her down on to my bed it's not enough to stop me.  
"I said no talking!" I snap at her sternly and climb on to her lap as she stares up at me with those big blue eyes of hers. I place a finger to her lips and feel her breath, hot and ragged against it. She wants this as much as I do and I'm not about to let her talk either of us out of it. "So shut the fuck up, yeah?"

She takes my advice and falls silent as I carry on kissing her. My hands are practically fucking shaking as I pull my own top over my head and then tug at her sweatpants. Her eyes settle on my chest and her fingers find the clasp on my bra. She fumbles over it though and I giggle as I hear her mutter and curse under her breath. She's so fucking impatient; it's something we have in common. Her lip juts out at not being able to tackle the troublesome bra. I can't help myself as I dip my head down to take her pouting lip between my own lips and suck on it, causing her to groan in to my mouth and forget all about my bra. I help her out by unfastening it for her and tossing it aside. Her attention returns to my chest along with her mouth. "Fuck!" She hisses as my nails find her back again but it doesn't stop her. I push her back down on to the bed and she looks up at me with a face like thunder for interrupting her. It's just tough though, because right now I'm very much in charge of things and the sooner she learns that the better. I tug her sweatpants down and as I lie down on top of her my lips find hers at the same time as my hand snakes between her legs and I really don't think she has a problem with me being on top anymore.

Hours later we finally pull apart and lie completely naked under the covers in a surprisingly easy silence. I've almost fallen asleep when I feel the mattress shift and hear Naomi searching the floor for her clothes. I turn over to look at her just as she's got her bra on and she's pulling her t-shirt on. She freezes with her shirt half on and I can see the scratch marks that have spread to her stomach. I feel myself getting turned on again but I know Effy will be home soon and I'm pretty sure Naomi will freak out if she catches us at it. "Hungry?" I ask her, trying to break the awkward silence as she just looks at me. She shrugs back at me as she finished getting ready and I'll take that as a yes.

I slip out of bed with the duvet wrapped around me. I'm pretty confident about my body, but not enough to parade around naked in front of Naomi. I ignore the pile of clothes on the floor and pull out some pyjamas from my drawers in the corner of my room. Despite the rain it's quite warm so I choose shorts over long trouser bottoms; I don't miss the way Naomi's gaze rakes over my thighs. I may have chosen the shortest shorts I own and they've definitely caught her attention. I smirk all the way to the kitchen as I feel her eyes on me from behind.

She suggests ordering a pizza but I'm supposed to be dieting for this exhibition I'm going to next week and there are only so many vices I can get away with in one day; I'm pretty sure shagging my twin's ex, _again_, fills my daily quota. So as I rummage around the kitchen making us a healthy pasta she leans against the bench just watching me again. I roll my eyes at her and tease her. "Are you just going to stand there perving? Make yourself useful and get some bowls out."  
"Hey, I'm very useful!" She objects and that fucking pout is back on her face. It takes all of my will power to stop myself from walking over to her and biting her lip. As she walks over to the cupboard where the bowls are kept though she deliberately brushes against me and it's like an electric current shoots straight through my body and settles between my thighs.

"Really?" She almost drops the bowls as I slide up behind her, my chest pressed against her back as my lips find her neck, grazing against the spot on her collarbone that I happen to know is particularly sensitive. I have no intention of letting her tease me and get away with it, so I intend on showing her I can give as good as I get; except she switches our positions without warning and I'm suddenly pushed up against the bench and she smirks like she's suddenly won. I think in the time she's been away she seems to have forgotten that I'm Katie _fucking _Fitch, and I always get what I want.

She tries to kiss me and I finally bite down on her lip hard enough to leave a mark. It's like I've flipped some kind of switch as her lips crash against mine and her hands cup my arse. I know exactly what she intends to do so I wrap my arms around her neck, crushing our lips even harder together as she lifts me up on to the bench. My shorts ride up and Naomi's eyes are drawn to the bite mark on the top of my thigh. I guess I'm not the only one leaving marks. She kisses me again and this time it's less rushed and somehow more intimate. Her tongue slips in to my mouth and I let out a moan as her hand sneaks under my shorts and she slips a finger deep inside of me. My hips surge forward to meet her and I wrap my legs around her back, pushing her deeper inside of me. She might be shit at taking off bras but she's knows exactly what she's doing when it comes to everything else. She adds a second finger and sets an agonizingly slow pace that does nothing but wind me up, but the more I squirm and try to spur her on the slower she gets, deliberately taunting me. She wants to be in charge this time and I let her if it means she'll pick up the fucking pace. "Fuck…Naomi-"  
"Katie, I'm home!"

Shit! I push Naomi away, instantly missing the feeling of her inside me and try to adjust my shorts so I look a little less, well, shagged. Before I get a word out Naomi ducks to the floor out of sight behind the kitchen cupboards. I step around the counter and try to lean casually against it as Effy strolls in, unaware that she's chosen the worst possible moment to walk in. Effy knows I've been with Naomi and to be honest I don't think she'd be that fazed to walk in and see us fucking on the kitchen bench, but I know Naomi will freak out if she finds out anybody knows so I go along with hiding her. "Hey Eff!" I greet her and my voice sounds strange, but with the pressure building between my legs it's a miracle I can still string a sentence together. As Effy tells me all about her day I can't really focus on what she's saying and I almost sigh with relief when she says she's going in the shower. The second she walks out Naomi gets to her feet and she looks ready to bolt out the door. After all of her teasing I'm not about to just let her walk out though so I grab her wrist and push her back against the counter. Effy always takes ages in the shower and the bathroom is all the way on the other side of the apartment, so as I lead Naomi's hand back down my shorts I'm pretty confident that we can get away with it

"Katie-" Her eyes widen and her hands freezes as she realises my intentions in stopping her from leaving.  
"_Naomi_." I whine at her with my most wide eyed innocent expression I can pull off. It works and despite her better judgement her hand continues travelling down my shorts and she picks up where she left off; though she's being a bit quicker about it which suits me just fine. I bury my face in her shoulder to muffle my sounds as she finally pushes me over the edge and my muscle spasm almost painfully around her still pounding fingers.

"I should go." She whispers when I finally fall still and she's still inside of me. I nod at her, unable to find my voice as I'm lost in that post-sex haze that seems to scramble my brain. I want her to stay, but I can't swallow my pride and ask her to stay. So when she pulls out of me and goes to wipe her hand on her sweatpants I take her fingers in to my mouth. I stare her down as my tongue probes against her fingers and I hear her breath catch as my little plan to wind her up clearly works. She stares at me lost for words and I push a little harder.  
"I'd say you could stay the night…but I don't think you could be quiet enough." I shrug up at her with my oh so innocent expression and I know it's like waving a red flag at a bull. She'll stay to prove a fucking point; and I suppose it's better than nothing.

Sure enough she stumbles forward and tips my chin up to meet her lips. The kiss that follows is passionate and intense as her skilful tongue finds its way in to my mouth and I can't help but think where I'd rather have it. She pulls away after I moan in to her mouth and she has a self-satisfied smirk on her lips. "Your loss." She places a quick peck on my lips before she turns to leave. "See you around Katie." _Fucking_ _bitch._

For once I forget about my pride and saving face and when I catch up to her in the hall I push her up against the wall, pinning her by the wrist and crushing our lips together. My legs slips between hers and my knee pushes up in _just_ the right spot. "What was that?" Effy calls out from the shower as we're standing right opposite the bathroom door.  
"Nothing!" I shout back and then drop my voice to a seductive purr as I lean in close to her. My hand once again finds the waistband of her trousers as I pull her towards my bedroom. "You better be fucking quiet Campbell!"  
"Or what?" She challenges as she takes a seat on my bed and once again she's foolishly thinking she's calling the shots. She's always got to fucking push it, always got to have the last word. I shoot her a filthy look over my shoulder as I snap the lock on my door shut.  
"Or I'll make you."

We spend the night shagging like rabbits and when I wake up in the morning Naomi's cuddled in beside me. She's sound asleep so for a little while I get to just lie there and think things through. I don't just want the sex, as great as it is, I want _this. _I want to wake up knowing she's going to be beside me. I want to be able to just cuddle in to her without it having to be about anything more. I want her to know how I really feel about her; but I can't help the niggling doubt in the back of my mind that she's still hung up on Ems and I'm not about to make a fool of myself for nothing.

I've got another early shoot so I have to drag myself out of bed and resist the urge to wake Naomi up. If we pick up where we left off last night I'll never get to work, so I leave her sleeping my bed. The photo shoot is pretty straight forward and I manage to squeeze in some quick retail therapy before I get back to the flat late in the morning. Effy's gone out but Naomi's still there. The second I walk in to the living room I can tell there's something wrong. Her expression is distant and I've got a horrible feeling she's about to give me a lecture on how wrong it that we're sleeping together, so I go on the defensive first as I dump my shopping bags on the sofa beside her. "You're still here then?"  
"I was just leaving." She stands up just as I press play on my blinking answering machine and she stops in her tracks, guilt written all over her face as the message plays.

"_Hey Katie, I lost my phone so I don't have your mobile number. Just letting you know I've booked my train tickets for the second week of August, so I'll see you and Eff soon!"_

I stare at the answering machine for a moment, trying to look anywhere but at the blonde. I should have guessed it was about Emily. It's always about Emily. With everything that had been going on all week I'd almost forgotten that Emily was coming home in a few weeks and hearing her voice sends me crashing back down to reality as I finally look up at Naomi. "Yeah. That's probably a good idea."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**Sorry it's taken me so long to update, work is hectic at the moment and I'm trying to catch up on all my fics. Thanks again to everyone who's still reading :) This covers chapter 9 of TDL.

Despite asking her to leave Naomi comes back from my room after she's changed back in to her clothes and she's just standing there staring at me all mopey eyed as I slam around in the kitchen looking for something for lunch. I've got another shoot soon and I don't want to waste my lunch hour hearing about how guilty she feels for what happened between us. I _really _don't need that right now. "Please Naomi…just go." I ask her again but she still doesn't make any move to leave and those damn baby blue eyes are staring right in to me.  
"Are you…are you ok?"

Like she even fucking cares. She's never cared about me, it's always been Emily and that's still what this is about. I can see the panic in her eyes, she doesn't want me telling Emily what happened between us; not that I ever would. I happen to enjoy breathing. "When the fuck have you ever cared if I was ok? We fucked Naomi, that's it. You don't have to start buying me flowers and asking how my day was." I snap at her, trying to make it easier for both of us to just walk away from this. Naomi's never been one to do things the easy way though.  
"Three times." She corrects me, like she's fucking keeping score, and it just makes my mood even worse.

"What do you want, a fucking medal?" I watch as she tries not to smirk, but her lips curl up anyway as she shrugs at me. It's almost enough to make me forget I'm angry; _almost_.  
"Well if you think I'm that good." God she can be such a bitch sometimes; but her cockiness manages to get a laugh from me as I roll my eyes at her.  
"Don't flatter yourself Campbell…I've had better."

Her eyes narrow as soon as the words leave my mouth and I'd swear she even sounds jealous as she huffs back, "Right, Effy?" It's my turn to smirk as I realise just how much my earlier remark rattled her. In all honesty she's pretty damn good in bed, but I'm not about to stroke her ego or anything else by telling her that; especially when teasing her is so fun.

"Aww, don't worry babes, you're not the worst."  
"Fuck you Katie." She pouts at me and it's fucking adorable. I just can't help but wind her up some more.  
"Not exactly top ten but-" I don't get to finish as she pushes me back against the kitchen bench and her lips latch on to mine. I'm not sure whether she's just trying to shut me up or if she intends to change my mind about just how good she is in bed. As much as I would love to let her prove herself I only have an hour for lunch and I'm still feeling a little put off by Emily's voicemail."I've got an hour till I have to get back to the shoot. You might be good in bed Campbell, but I'm starving, I need to get some lunch." I try to force an air of indifference in to my voice, but with my lips still tingling from her kiss it's hard to do. I turn my attention back to looking for something to eat so that I'm not tempted to give in and pull her in for another kiss.

"So I _am _good in bed?" She grins smugly and I roll my eyes at her in response. "Where's your shoot? We could go for some lunch? My treat?"  
"Fine." I give in with an exaggerated sigh, though on the inside I'm secretly a little giddy at the prospect of Naomi offering to buy me lunch. I expected her to run for the hills when I heard Emily's voice on the answerphone, not ask to take me out. It might not exactly be a date, but I'll take it. I need to talk to her anyway. "Where are you taking me?"We end up in a little café in town that does gorgeous hot chocolate and I end up having a Panini while Naomi just has a coffee."So…" She starts, looking up at me with those big blue eyes, but that's as far as she gets. She falls silent and whatever she was about to ask remains unsaid. I seize the opportunity to change the subject and bring up what I wanted to talk to her about before things kicked off this morning.**  
**"I've got a favour to ask. I've got a shoot in Milan over the weekend. I need you to stay with Effy; but it has to seem like it's your idea. She hates me making a fuss**-"  
**  
"She'll see right through this." She rolls her eyes at me like I'm annoying her. Well she's annoying me. Of course Effy will see right through it, Effy doesn't miss a fucking trick. She could at least_ try._  
"Well just tell her your mum's doing your head in or something…and do a good fucking job of convincing her!" "How's she doing anyway? I mean is she still-" She trails off, like people usually do when they try to bring Effy's health up; like it's the hardest thing in the world to talk about. People usually ask _me_ about her too. It's not like Effy's going to snap if they ask her directly. She's a lot stronger than she was a couple years ago; though I still don't like leaving her alone for more than a day or two.

"Crazy?" I finish for her and she blushes. I know I'm being extra bitchy today but things aren't exactly going to plan; not that I planned to sleep with my sister's ex-girlfriend, though I've got to admit I've _thought_ about it plenty of times. I really wish Emily hadn't called. I wish she was staying in Leeds for the summer so I could finally get my chance to be the centre of Naomi's attention. I know that's selfish, but I can't help it. I liked having Naomi hanging on my every word, even if it was only for a couple of days. "She's doing ok. I just hate leaving her alone. So just talk to her, please?" I add in a softer tone and the blonde relents with a shrug of her shoulders. **  
**  
"Yeah, sure. I'll have a word with Effy. So what are you doing in Milan?""I've got a shoot for Versace. I managed to get this model that is _so _in demand. It's gonna be ace."Versace is definitely making a comeback this year and I've managed to score a shoot with the hottest model in Italy right like that will definitely get me more work. Not that I really need it though, I've got plenty of offers coming in.  
"When did you get in to photography anyway?" She quizzes and I know what she really wants to ask iswhen did I get half a brain and stop wanting to be a WAG? I shrug at her as I pick at my lunch and give her the short version. "Found a camera a couple years ago. I was just messing about, took some photos…got some shots of a few celebs in clubs and sold them to the papers." I shrug again, trying to play it down. The truth is finding that camera changed my life. I suddenly started seeing a lot more of the world when I started looking at it through a lens and after Freddie's death and Effy's breakdown taking my camera out for the afternoon was a welcome escape; the fact that I make money out of it now is just a bonus.I'm not as stupid as people think. Just because I'm in to fashion and makeup that doesn't mean I can't be interested in art and knowwho people like Douglas Kirkland and Dorothea Lange are.

"There's a photography exhibit on at the Gallery next week…I don't know if it's any good-" Naomi starts but I interrupt her, panic welling up in me at the thought of her going to the first exhibition that I'll be showing my private work.  
"Not my kind of thing." I dismiss her with a flick of my hair, playing up to the bimbo Barbie role she expects from me. "I need to be at my shoot in ten minutes…you can come if you want. Just don't fucking perv."**  
**"When do I perv?" She snaps back, looking offended by the very suggestion; even though we both know where her eyes have been for the last half an hour.  
"You've been staring down my top since we sat down Campbell." I role my eyes at her, but in all honesty it's not like I haven't been deliberately sitting forward to give her a better view.

I take her with me to the warehouse down by the docks that we're shooting in and by the time we get there it's full of models, makeup artists and crew rigging lighting. I _love_ this world, I really do. I shrug off my coat and start shouting for people to do as I say and I'm in my absolute element as I oversee everything, bringing the shoot together. The real fun starts when I finally get to start taking pictures, swapping lenses and playing with angles; constantly searching for that perfect shot. Of course it's a bit hard to take the perfect picture when I'm missing models. I have a feeling I know where Gia's got to though and sure enough when I look over to the crate Naomi's been sitting on I find her hovering over the blonde. I hear her inviting her to dinner and my fiery Fitch temper flares. "Gia! Do you want paid today?" She waves me off and promises she'll just be a second, but it's not her I'm really bothered about. I glare at Naomi, even though I know it's Gia doing all the blonde shoots me a frustrated look in return before she goes back to playing with her phone. I go back to my shoot and pretty much ignore her until I ask her to go fetch me a coffee. I'm not really sure why I asked her to come, I knew I'd be too busy to really spend any time with her, but it's just nice having her around; and maybe part of me just wanted to show off to her. "Would you mind getting me a coffee babes? Everything's going tits up and I'm going to be stuck here another hour at least."  
"Sure no problem." She pockets her phone and gets to her feet, her hand finding my arm as she passes me.  
**  
**She takes ages getting me the coffee and I almost think she's ran off when she finally shows up with an extra strong coffee and a Danish pastry that looks delicious. She really can be sweet sometimes. "Thanks." I take the bag with the pastry in it from her, my fingers brushing against hers and she manages a small smile in return. After that all hell breaks loose again as one of the models snaps the heel of a thousand pound pair of shoes and once again my attention is taken away from the blonde. After a while she gets up and starts wandering around the warehouse, exploring it like a little kid. Hours after we first got to the warehouse the shoot is finally finished and I have some shots that are useable. They're not great but I can't take another three hours in this dank old my equipment is safely packed up I try to track Naomi down and look through some of the shots as I go.

It takes a while but I eventually find her perched up on some scaffolding by a small window. The late afternoon sun streams through the murky glass, highlighting her form and I can't help myself as I bring my camera up and take a picture of her. The flash of light catches her attention and she looks straight at me as I take a few more shots. I let the camera hang from my neck as I tackle the scaffolding, wishing I hadn't worn such ridiculous heals. I let off a yawn as I take a seat beside her. It's been a really long day and it's not over yet.

I don't say anything to her as I flick through the pictures I've taken. There are a few good shots, but the best one by far is the first one I took; the one where she's lost in thought and doesn't know she's being watched. I love natural shots like that. The light from the window frames her like a halo and I make sure to save the picture to the memory card. "Best picture I've taken all day." Sometimes I get a bit tired of all of this fakery. Of all the makeup and spray tans, the designer shoes and the tedious tantrums. I love my job, I really do, but sometimes I wish I could make as much money working on my exhibition pieces as I do on these magazine shoots.

"Gia wanted me to give you this." I pull out one of my own business cards from my jacket pocket. Gia's scrawled her number on it for the other girl and I begrudgingly hand it over. I feel my gut twisting as she takes it and puts it in her pocket. I'd feel a lot happier if she'd ripped it up in front of me.**  
**"She asked me out." She admits and I'm not sure whether she's trying to make conversation or just wants to see my reaction. I try to brush it off, even though I'm pissed off at her for keeping the number.**  
**  
"She asks everyone out." I shrug like it's no big deal; which it isn't really. Gia does ask everyone out. "Even had a pop at Effy once."**  
**"Effy shags anyone." I know she's trying to rile me, and maybe once I would have fallen for it, started kicking off and acting like a bitch; but I'm not seventeen anymore and Naomi Campbell can't play me that easily. "Maybe I'll give her a call…"  
"Maybe you should." I snap at her, finally letting my jealoust get the better of me; of course she calls me on it straight away.

"Jealous?" She smirks at me as I glare back at her, like this is some kind of game that she's trying to win. She doesn't get it. She doesn't see just how pissed off I am. She doesn't see how much I care.  
"Fuck you Naomi!" I growl at her and turn to climb down the scaffolding. I don't get very far though as she grabs hold of my wrist.  
"Wouldn't be the first time." Her words are as cold as her stare and I can't stop my hand from slapping her across the face.  
"It'll be the last."

I'm done. I'm done fucking chasing her. I'm Katie Fucking Fitch for Christ's sake! People are supposed towant _me. _Naomi is supposed to want _me!_Emily was never right for her, too quiet, too much of a push over. Naomi needs someone to put her in her place.  
"Katie-" She calls out to me and follows me back down the scaffolding. "For fuck's sake! Katie!" She snaps like she's the only one who's upset about everything that's happened. Like she's the only one who's hurting right now.  
"What?" I turn to face her, directing all of my anger at her. "Go ask Gia out, fuck _her_ for all I care!"  
"Yeah, cause you obviously don't care in the slightest!" She shouts back and it's like a red flag to a raging bull.**  
**  
Except I can't bring myself to carry on shouting. We both know that whatever happened between us was a onetime thing. It would never work between us, there's too much water under the bridge and Naomi's still hung up on Emily. I need to be the one who backs down first, while we still have some sort of friendship left between us, or else this is all going to blow up in our faces and we're going to end up going back to pretending to hate each other.I deflate like a burst balloon. I'm too tired to keep fighting for something that's never going to work. "Can we just not?" I sigh at her. "I don't want to talk. I don't want to fight…I just…I don't know what I want, ok?" Except I do. I want _her. _I've always wanted her.

I want her to want me back for once. To make a stand and to fight for me the way she fought for Emily; but she doesn't. She just gives up. "Maybe we should just keep away from each other?"  
"Maybe." I reply, my voice quiet and strained. "I'll give you a ride home. My flight's Friday morning, so why don't you come over tonight and tell Effy you want to stay? I'm babysitting Albert tonight, so you know…"  
"Ok. I'll call round later…to see Eff."

I make sure I'm out of the flat before she comes over and end up at Lara's an hour earlier than I'm supposed to be. Being the amazing best friend she is she instantly pops the kettle on, tells JJ to go bath Albert and sits me down at the kitchen table with a stern expression. "What's going on, Katie?"  
"I fucked up, like usual." I try to laugh and end up choking as a sob escapes my lips. My eyes well up with tears and before I know it Lara has her arm around me and my face is buried in her shoulder. "I love her Lara…I'm fucking in love with her and I hate it!" Because she'll never love me back. She'll never want _me _and we both know it.


	9. Chapter 9

My night of babysitting was pretty uneventful, Albert fell asleep before Lara and JJ had even left, so I spent the evening curled up on the sofa watching crap television and eating all of Lara's ice-cream. She won't hold it against me; god knows I needed some comfort food. My head's a mess right now and I just don't know what the fuck to think about Naomi. I shouldn't even _be _thinking about her. I should just forget what's happened between us and go back to being a bitch to her. Being bitchy is easy, it's practically second nature. Katie Fitch, grade A bitch.

So when I walk in to the living room of my flat and find a certain blonde sprawled across my sofa my tone is dry and dismissive. "You're still here then?" I go straight in to the kitchen and yank open the fridge door to help myself to a beer, anything to divert my eyes away from her. She's lying on the sofa, her hair tied back and her t-shirt riding up her stomach and it would be so easy to go and climb on top of her right now, but I don't. I grip my beer so hard my knuckles are turning white and bring it to my lips; hoping alcohol will take the edge off.

"No, I went home hours ago." She replies off hand, her attention still glued to the idiot box as she watches some low budget horror film. She doesn't even have the decency to look at me.  
"You should have." I slam the fridge door shut, finally getting her attention as I make my feelings clear.  
"Fine, I'll go. I just thought you'd appreciate me keeping Eff company tonight." Now I definitely feel like a bitch. She's only here because I asked her to talk Effy in to letting her stay the weekend.

She stands up and I almost open my mouth to stop her leaving, but she doesn't head for the door. Instead she comes over to me and leans against the fridge. Her head rests against the door as she looks down at me with those deep blue eyes of hers. I think one day I might actually drown in them. "What's wrong?" She actually sounds like she cares.  
"Nothing-" I grumble at her, trying to push past her, but she tries to grab my wrist to stop me. Her hand slips lower though and we end up holding hands. I stare at our joined hands, like they belong to some other people; but then Naomi's thumb brushes against my palm and I can't deny it's my hand she's holding. It's too much, too intimate. I pull away and try to dismiss her again. "Leave it Naomi. I'm tired yeah?" I pick up my beer and storm past her to take her place on _my _sofa. "Yeah, me too." I hear her muttering under her breath as she opens the fridge and takes out a beer for herself; looks like she's not leaving anytime soon. She comes over and sits beside me. "So, I asked Effy about staying over here. She's fine with. She knows you're going away though." Of course she does. Effy knows fucking everything.  
"Figures." I grumble as I spread out on the sofa, throwing my legs over the blonde's lap. "Fuck are you watching?" I scowl at the shit horror film she's watching. I take the remote and begin flicking through the channels, looking for something decent to watch. "I was watching that!"  
"My house, my clicker." I dangle the remote in front of her face; I can see it's pissing her off but she's cute when she's mad so I carry on doing it all the more when she tries to snatch it from me.I raise it above my head and giggle as she tries in vain to grab it.

Never one to give up she ends up climbing on to my lap to try and reach it. Her body is warm and flush against me and her face is inches away. I lean in and press my lips to hers, catching her off guard. She forgets all about the remote and starts kissing me back. I push her down so that she's lying on her back and straddle her waist. She doesn't stop me. We kiss for a while, neither of us tries to take things any further and it's nice. For once it's not about sex and we're not rushing to tear each other's clothes off. For a while I can pretend that this actually means something to her too. Eventually we stop kissing and just lie together, my head resting on her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart. Her arms wrap around me as her eyes settle on the screen. I feel utterly exhausted and I'm far too comfy for my own good. My eyes begin to close over. I drift off after a while and I only wake up when I feel Naomi moving underneath me. She settles again and we both fall asleep together. **  
**

The next time I wake up it's early and I'm aching all over from spending half the night on the sofa. Naomi's still fast asleep and I carefully climb over her to make my way to bed; putting the blanket from the back of the sofa across her before I go. When I reach my door Effy's opens. She crosses her arms over her chest and stares down at me with a smirk. "You two looked cosy."  
"Just don't Eff, please?" I sigh, not in the mood for her usual mind games. I've got to be up early to get to Heathrow to catch my flight. She shrugs and for a moment I think I might actually be able to crawl in to bed without any more melodrama; it's wishful thinking.  
"It's one thing to fuck your sister's ex Katie; it's another to fall in love with her."

My grip tightens on my bedroom door handle as I stare straight ahead, fighting the urge to fly off the handle. As much as I'd like to think I've grown up in the last two years I know that I could quite easily slip back in to the screaming teenager I've tried so hard to leave behind. Effy and I settled our differences a long time ago. She bashed my head in with a rock; but she was ill, even back then, we just didn't know it at the time. She stole Freddie from me; but I didn't want him, not really. I wanted something I couldn't have. I wanted Naomi Campbell. I wanted to be as strong as Emily, to admit that I had feelings for a girl; but when Emily came out to the world I felt like everyone was suddenly looking at me. I heard the whispers at college, the rumours about whether I was straight or not, and I just couldn't deal with it. I couldn't be loud and proud like Emily. I couldn't be as brave as my little sister.

"What if she wants me back?" I bite my lip as I finally turn to face Effy. I know it's stupid to think that any of this means anything to Naomi, that when she asks how I'm feeling she's actually interested and not just being polite because we're occasionally shagging; but sometimes, like tonight, it feels like she might just want me back a tiny little bit. When Effy answers it's without hesitation as she presses her lips to my forehead and wraps her arms around me. The scars on her wrist are a distinct contrast the rest of her smooth skin and I feel them rub against my bare arms as she squeezes me tight.  
"She does Kay, she does."

She kisses my cheek before she slips back in to her room as silently as she emerged from it. I swear sometimes it's like living with a ghost. I go in to my own room and slip under the covers of my bed. I lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling as I wrestle over whether or not to go back in to the living room and wake Naomi up. I huff as I turn over, slam my fist in to my pillow in an attempt to make it less lumpy and then roll the other way, kicking the covers off me in frustration. I'm going to be in Italy tomorrow, sleeping in an expensive hotel and working on the biggest shoot of my career; but it's not the impending photo shoot that's keeping me wide awake, it's Naomi. I just don't know what I'm going to do with her. Even if she does want me back, then what are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to be together when she's my sister's ex? How am I supposed to do that to Emily? Fuck! This was never meant to happen. She was never supposed to look at me as more than just Emily's bitchy twin sister. I did everything I could to make her hate me, to keep us all safe, but then she had to come back to Bristol and give me her stupid shoes and her stupid coat and just be so fucking _nice _to me!

I lie awake for most of the night, watching the numbers on my alarm clock inch ever closer to my five a.m. wake up call. I drift in and out sometimes, slipping in to a light fitful sleep that makes me feel worse when the alarm clock finally begins screaming at me. I knock it off and drag myself out of bed. My suitcase is packed already so I just need to shower and get ready before I leave for London to catch my flight. Before long I'm sneaking around the living room, trying to figure out where I left my passport. I pause as I catch sight of Naomi curled up on the sofa, her head tucked under her arm and a peaceful expression on her face. She stirs and her eyes slowly open, focusing on me in the darkness. She fluffs at the platinum blonde hair that's stuck to the side of her face and yawns.

"What time is it?" She asks as I check my suitcase again for my passport. Her big blue eyes are soft and hazy and she looks adorable as she stretches, letting off a little groan.  
"Early, go back to sleep." She ignores me as usual and asks what time my flight is as she sits up. "Ten. I'm leaving from Heathrow though so I've got to get to London before the traffic starts. I've left the number of the hotel on the fridge, there's some emergency cash in a jar in the cupboard if Effy needs it-"  
"How old are you?" She laughs at me and I try to be pissed at her but I can't help smiling as I roll my eyes. I know I'm slowly turning in to Effy's mother, or worse mine, and it terrifies me.  
"Just look after her Campbell or I'll kick your arse!" I smirk as I zip up my suitcase and spot my passport on the coffee table.  
"Bring it Fitch." She challenges and I saunter over to her, bending down to kiss her as I pick up my passport. The kiss is slow and easy and Naomi's eyes flutter shut. She's still half asleep.

"Why don't you climb in to my bed and get some more sleep?" I suggest as I pull away, my motherly instincts kicking in again.  
"Why don't you come with me?" I giggle at her as she leans forward to steal another kiss from me, trying to coax me back to bed with her. I really wish I had time, but I can't afford to miss this flight.  
"I'll be back Monday night." Which gives me the weekend to try and clear my head and think things through properly. I need to figure out where we're going with this.  
"Have fun."My weekend is far from fun. My flight from Heathrow is delayed, and when I do finally get on the plane I'm sat beside an old lady who spends most of the flight asleep on my shoulder and a teenage boy who keeps looking at my tits. Milan is too hot and humid and my clothes are sticking to me by the time I get to the hotel. The receptionist doesn't speak a word of English so I have to call Effy and get her to check me in. The room is nice enough though and I don't have to meet my clients until later so I take a shower and have a nap to catch up on the sleep I missed last night.

When I meet the model I'm supposed to be working with she's pretty much the same as every other fucking model I've met, a stroppy cow who thinks she's god's gift because she has legs a mile long. The shoot goes well though and lost in my work I don't have time to worry about everything that's going on back home. In fact, apart from a few calls to Effy for some much needed translation help I've not really been in touch with anyone. I've thought about calling Naomi, but I'm still not sure what to say to her so I don't bother; and before I know it it's Sunday evening and I'm checking in to the airport for an earlier flight home. I was supposed to have another day in Milan but the heat was killing me and the thought of going home to my own bed is too tempting; well ok, so maybe it's more the temptation of just who is _in _my bed.

I let Effy know I'm coming back early so she doesn't worry about hearing someone sneaking around the flat in the middle of the night; she's a pretty light sleeper and I wouldn't like her to come at me with the bat she keeps under her bed. The flight on the way home isn't as full as it was on the way out so I don't have anyone sitting beside me and I can recline my chair back to get some sleep. I make it back to the flat in the early hours of the morning and find the others are already in bed. I slip in to my room and try to be quiet as possible as I put my suitcase down by the bottom of the bed and strip out of my clothes. I change for bed and climb in beside the blonde who is thankfully sleeping on her side and not mine. I press myself right up against her back and press my lips to her neck as my arm wraps around her stomach. She smells like my shampoo and I can't help but smile as I mumble, "Took an earlier flight." I've missed this; missed her. She grunts in acknowledgement, puts her hands over mine and buries her face in her pillow. It doesn't take her long to fall back to sleep and I soon join her, exhausted from my long weekend away.

When I wake up in the morning when I feel Naomi's lips press against my forehead. I'm cuddled in to her side with me head on her chest and it doesn't take much effort for me to tilt my head up and catch her lips. I keep my eyes closed but I feel her lips curl up against mine and I know she's smiling as her arm slips under my top and her fingers begin tracing patterns on my stomach. She does that all the time, when we're curled up on the sofa watching TV and her hand absently finds its way to my side or my back, or when we're lying in bed and she thinks I'm asleep and she runs her fingers in slow swirling patterns over my skin. It's nice. I let her carry on as I drop my head back on to her chest and my own hand slides down her stomach and dips under the waistband of her knickers. She never wears much to bed. I let my hand rest where it is and begin to drift off with the steady rise and fall of her chest. "Do you intend on doing anything with that hand?" She chuckles impatiently and I smile against her skin as I keep my hand exactly where it is. Her fingers wrap around my hand, trying to move it down. She should know by know just how much I like my sleep, so to remind her I dig my nails in to her stomach, dragging them down and leaving marks as she hisses and lets go of my hand. "Kaaatieeee!" She whines in my ear as she kisses it, trying to persuade me to wake up. When I don't respond she slips out from under me and crawls down the bed. I roll on to my back and part my legs and feel her hair brush against my thighs as she shakes her head. "Bitch." She mutters as her lips trail up the inside of my thigh and I bite back a grin.  
"Tired." I protest, but make no attempt to stop her from sliding my shorts down my legs. My whole body tenses as her lips slowly make their way to where I want them. For once we're not frantically fucking each other's brains out and I could definitely get used to more mornings like this. It doesn't take long for a satisfied moan to rip its way past my lips and I'm so chilled out that I'm practically out of it by the time Naomi crawls up beside me.

"_Katie_." She whines again as she kisses my jaw and my lips, looking for something in return. I giggle in to her open mouth as I press my knees between her legs. She hisses as I hit the right spot, winding her up all the more.  
"Tired." I repeat a little more sternly as my hands slips between our bodies to take my knee's place, rubbing against her core. I close my eyes and try not to smirk as I keep my hand between her legs and kiss her cheek, knowing just how wound up she is right now. "'Night babes."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry it's been ages since I updated. I was finishing off This Disillusioned Life and starting a new Kaomi fic. Been pretty hectic with work too so haven't been writing much. Thanks again to everyone who's still reading.  
**

I've had a rare day off work today and I've been bored out of my mind. I must have picked my phone up to call Naomi about a dozen times, but every time I've ended up chickening out. She's coming over tonight to help me babysit Albert, but I want to see her _now. _It's ridiculous, like I'm getting withdrawal or something. She's barely been away from my flat for the last couple of weeks and I'm missing her just because she spent the night at home last night. I made it through my entire weekend away without talking to her and now I can't even get through one afternoon; God if she finds out how pathetic I'm being I'll never hear the end of it. When it comes to Naomi it's better to keep my cards close to my chest. It's safer that way.

I don't even have Effy to keep me company since she's gone to see her brother Tony for a couple of days. I just hope he's keeping an eye on her. She's doing a lot better now, but this time of year always gets her down thinking about Freddie; and she's usually got me or Emily there to keep her on track. Ems will be back home soon and that's a whole other mess that I don't want to think about right now. I try and keep myself distracted by doing housework and catching up on some of my project work. I'm exhibiting my private photos for the first time this week and I've got a million things I should be doing, as my manager keeps reminding me, but I can't get Naomi out of my mind. Eventually I give up and pick up my phone again, this time I actually make it all the way to bringing her number up on the screen; but the buzzer for the front door distracts me and I have to toss my phone aside to answer it. I'm not expecting Lara until tonight and Naomi said she'd be busy all day; so it's a nice surprise when I pick up the intercom and hear her voice on the other end. "Hey…I know I'm early, can I come up?" I press the door release for her to get in and try to hide my excitement as I open my front door and wait for her to climb the stairs.

She has a face like thunder, so for once I don't wind her up about what she's wearing or tease her about being early. "Hey." She manages a smile as she gets to the door and I don't let her inside without a kiss. She brightens a little after that and settles on the sofa while I make us some tea. She's obviously distracted and I can guarantee she hasn't heard a word I've said to her since she got here. "Hello? Naomi?" I wave my hand in front of her face, my voice terse as I snap at her.  
"Huh? What?" She looks tired and dazed and completely adorable, but I'm not letting her get away with ignoring me so I scowl and pout at her. "Sorry." I shrug off my own mood as I pick up the TV remote and nestle myself beside her, with my head resting on her thigh as I flick through the channels. She hates it when I can't pick one thing to watch. She stares at the screen without comment, but I catch her stealing glances at me and she can sulk all she wants, just as long as she doesn't ignore me. Katie Fitch does not do _ignored._

Of course Naomi doesn't really do _patient _either, so she eventually kicks off about my channel hopping and snatches the remote off me. "Can you just watch one fucking thing please?" I roll my eyes as I take the remote back from her and get off the sofa, dragging her up with me. She frowns at me, obviously wondering why I'm not screaming back at her as I tug her forward.  
"Come on." I order as I pull her down the hall towards my room.  
"Where are we going?" I smirk at her unease; she's still not used to me holding my temper in check. It's quite a new thing for me too, but I'm not a stroppy teenager anymore and I know there's more to her mood than me just changing the channels.  
"Well, you've obviously got your knickers in a twist babe, and I'm not putting up with you sulking all night, so let's sort it out, yeah?" She doesn't object as I lead her in to my room and push her down on to my bed.

Her entire demeanour changes as I climb on to her lap and our lips meet. The tension eases from her body as I pull my T-shirt over my head and her lips go to my collarbone. God, I love it when someone kisses my neck…it's even better when it's Naomi doing it. "How long till Lara brings Albert over?" She asks and I try not to growl in frustration as I pull at the buttons on her shirt. I told her that less than half an hour ago.  
"Five." I repeat with a frustrated sigh. We've got a few hours and I plan on making the most of them as I help her out of her jeans. "Just long enough for you to learn to pay attention to me." I tease as I lean down and nip at the inside of her thigh; I'm pretty certain I've got her full attention now.

Our afternoon romp turns out to be the perfect way to distress and we end up back on the sofa, curled up under a blanket and crashed out in front of the TV. I go back to channel surfing, but Naomi's too chilled out to care this time. I'm lying in front of her with one of her arms draped over my stomach and when she leans forward to kiss my neck I feel flutters in my stomach. I lean back against her, wondering if we've got time for another quickie before Lara gets her. Naomi has other ideas though. "Let's go out…" Her voice is a husky whisper and the flutters increase.  
"Albert's coming soon." I remind her as I turn over to face her, catching her lips and kissing her in the hope of starting something again. When she pulls away she looks nervous and mumbles something about the two of us going out sometime and I realise what she's trying to ask me. "Like a date?" My tone comes out a little dubious and I automatically try to pull away from her. She takes hold of one of my wrists though, with the hand that was draped over my stomach resting on my hip so I can't get away from her. I bite my lip as I try to avoid her scrutinizing gaze.

I can't believe she just asked me out on a _date_. It's one thing to be fucking and carrying on in private, buta _date _is something different. Dating implies some kind of actual relationship and I'm not deluded enough to think that I could actually date Naomi; that we could actually make something out of whatever's going on between us. It wouldn't work. We wouldn't work; no matter how much I wish we could. "Naomi I…there's Lara." I'm saved by the knock at the front door and I'm grateful Lara's thought to knock instead of just letting herself in with her key. She probably expected I'd have Naomi over.  
"And I'm waiting for an answer." She leans in and slowly kisses me, trying to get me to agree to go out with her. My eyes flutter shut of their own accord and I can't help the moan that slips out as her tongue brushes against mine.  
"Fine. Whatever." I try to brush it off like it's no big deal, but I can't help thinking we're getting in too deep. How far can we really push this thing before it blows up in our faces?

I put it to the back of my mind as I finally pull away from her to answer the door. I straighten my clothes and fluff my hair on the way. "Took your time." Lara teases as I open the door to let her and JJ in. I roll my eyes at her and turn my attention to Albert instead. He's glued to Lara's leg and he looks in a huff as he frowns at me. He usually likes staying over at his Aunty Katie's, but today he just looks like he's in a mood with himself as he shrinks away from me when I try to give him a hug.  
"What's wrong with my favourite little guy?"  
"I think he's coming down with something." Lara answers, frowning herself and doing a good impersonation of her son. "I was thinking about cancelling tonight-"  
"Don't even think about it!" I scold her as I scoop Albert up for a hug, ignoring his squirming as I squeeze him tight. "Let's get rid of mummy and daddy, then we can get out the ice cream, yeah?" His little face lights up at the prospect of ice cream and suddenly he's my best friend again. I manoeuvre him so he's on my shoulders and carry him in to the living room. JJ follows behind me as though he expects me to drop him. Lara trails behind us carrying the massive overnight bag that has everything in it from Albert's pyjamas to his favourite teddy bear.

Naomi's sitting up on the sofa when we make our way in to the living room and she attempts to make small talk with Lara. They never really got to know each other that last year of college when Lara first started dating JJ, not that Naomi was really herself back then anyway, but I'm pleased she makes the effort to try and talk to Lara. She asks if they're off out anywhere nice and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I told her earlier they were going out with JJ's work; she's been a million miles away this afternoon. At least she's a little more with it now and she gives Albert her full attention as he climbs down from my back and waddles over to her. "Gnomeee!" He squeals with delight and I think he's almost as happy to see her as I was when she turned up early at my door. He loses interest as I suggest getting him some Coco Pops for his supper and he happily follows me in to the kitchen while Naomi sees JJ and Albert out.

Despite Lara thinking he was unwell, it seems Albert is full of energy and in hindsight giving him sugary cereal before bed was probably a bad idea. Especially given that he's got us playing hide and seek in the living room hours after his supposed bed time. There are exactly four hiding places in the living room, so the game gets boring pretty quickly, but Albert is still giggling the third time he finds me hiding behind the sofa. I eventually put him in the bath, which tires him right out and the three of us curl up under a blanket on the sofa and watch cartoons. Albert sits on my lap, with his head on my chest and his thumb stuck in his mouth as he plays with the curls in his hair. He always does that when he's tired and sure enough before long he's out like a light.

Naomi carefully picks him up and carries him in to Effy's room, where I put up the travel cot while she cradles him. With his fair complexion and blonde curls he could easily pass for her son. People have mistaken him for my kid before, when we've been out playing in the park or shopping in _Tesco_, and it hurts a little bit, knowing I'll never hold my own baby. I was diagnosed with early onset menopause when I was just seventeen. It's not nice to hear you'll never be a mother at any age, but at seventeen I was practically still a kid myself. Up till then my life plan had been pretty straightforward; marry a footballer, have a few kids, be a good mum. It's funny how life works out; I'll never have any of that now.

I take Albert from Naomi and place him down in the cot, putting the blankets over him tightly so he can't kick them off. The nights are starting to grow cold again; we don't have long left until the summer ends. I kiss his forehead and then stand over the cot for a few minutes, watching him sleep and making sure he's settled before I leave. Naomi's arms wrap around me from behind and rest on my stomach. I lean back in to her touch and turn to kiss her with a sigh. It's been a long day and Albert's got me worn out. "How about an early night?" I suggest, looking forward to crawling under the duvet and cuddling in to Naomi.

When I finally pull the duvet up to my chin and nestle in to Naomi's side it's absolute heaven. I'm so comfy that I could fall right to sleep, but I've got too much on my mind to just drift off. "So, where are you taking me for this date then?" I still think it's a bad idea. I'm just setting myself up to get hurt and we both know it.  
"You're the famous photographer raking it in; you should be taking me out!" She teases as she kisses the side of my cheek, too tired to lean over and reach my lips.  
"Please, you're obviously the butch one; it's your job to pay!" I laugh as she pinches my side and lectures me on how I'm homophobic. I've forgotten how easily she gets on her high horse. I cut off her rant as I shake my head and lean over to kiss her. "I was kidding you daft cow…but you're still paying. And I'm _not_easy to impress-"

"Just easy then?" It's meant to be a joke, but given my reputation in college I don't take it well. I don't want her thinking I'm still like that anymore. I try to playfully slap her arm as I scowl at her, but she picks up one of my pink heart shaped cushions to use as a shield and we end up rolling around on the bed and giggling. I end up lying on top of her with the blankets wrapped around us, pouting down at her as I rest on my elbows.  
"I'm not like that anymore." I work with some exceptionally beautiful people and I get more than my fair share of chat up lines and dinner invitations, but Naomi's the only person I've been with in ages.

"I know." She replies, her voice a light husk as she stares up at me and I feel my heart thumping against my chest as her thumb traces my lip. "You haven't been with anyone else… since we… I mean…" She stumbles over her words as I nip at her thumb, taking it between my lips. God, she looks so fucking cute when she's nervous. I put her out of her misery with a single 'no'. It seems to be exactly what she wants to hear as she suddenly crushes our lips together and we're both wide awake as her hand slips down between our pressed bodies. I want to tell her that there hasn't been anyone else in a long time, that if I'd got my own way years ago she would have been the only one full stop. I bite my lip though and keep my secrets to myself. Why change the habit of a lifetime, right?

I wake up in the middle of the night to an empty bed and frown as I pull my dressing gown on and go off in search of Naomi. I'm usually the first one up and leaving her in bed. I silently pad down the hall to Effy's room, wanting to check in on Albert since Lara thinks he's coming down with something. I pause at the door with a smile as I catch sight of Naomi lying asleep on top of Effy's bed, with Albert lying soundly on her chest. She must have got up to check on him and fallen asleep with him. I creep in to the room and scoop Albert up in to my arms, he stirs a little bit but his head finds my shoulder and one of his tiny hands clenches the sleeve of my pyjamas and he's out like a light again. I take him back in to my room, leaving Naomi sleeping in Effy's. It's not like I can carry her and she's always grumpy when she wakes up.

She makes her way back to my room later anyway. She climbs back in to bed with me and cuddles in behind me as I lie with my own arms wrapped around Albert. I'm still half asleep but I turn to kiss her and catch her cheek. That's good enough. I'm too tired to offer her a proper kiss and I slip back off to sleep within minutes of her getting back in to bed with me. I manage to get a decent night's sleep, though when I wake up again in the morning Naomi and Albert are missing. I can hear the television on in the living room, so I've got a good idea where they are. I hear the phone going as I approach the living room and offer Albert a cheerful wave. The answering machine can pick it up. Naomi's in the kitchen when I walk in and I'm all set to see if she's in the mood for a good morning kiss, when I hear my agent's voice on the answering machine. I bounce across the room and pick the phone up just before he hangs up.

"Hey gorgeous, I'm here!" I'm in a pretty good mood after a night spent cuddling Albert and Naomi. I'm really looking forward to the exhibition on Friday.  
"Katie babe! You excited for Friday? Everything's all set, yeah?"  
"Of course, everything's sorted." I laugh down the phone, he's been stressing out about this more than I have. Naomi gives me an odd look out of the corner of her eye. I can't quite make it out before she ducks her head and goes back to making her coffee. Albert's wrapped around her hip, happily munching on a slice of toast that is so pale it's practically just bread. "Pick me up at six yeah? Ok, see you then, by sexy." She walks over to the sofa with her coffee and I smirk as I take it from her and take a sip.  
"Get your own." She scowls at me, clearly back in the same mood she turned up in last night.  
"It is mine." I'm in too good of a mood to let her get me down though so instead of snapping at her I wind her up instead.

"Whatever…I'm going to get ready and go. I'm catching the train home this afternoon-"  
"You're going back to London?" Well that just burst my happy little bubble. "You coming back or staying for the rest of the summer?" I try not to sound too bothered, after all the last thing I want is her thinking I'm too clingy or needy; because that so didn't work with her and Emily, and it's not really me. I don't chase after anyone, girl or boy.  
"I dunno." She shrugs her shoulders at me and it doesn't seem like going home is something she's really planned on. Naomi's always been good at running away though. I guess it's not something she can just outgrow. "Might do. Don't worry, I'm sure _Sean_will keep you company." She sulks and I frown at her for a second, before I realise what the real issue is. She's jealous. She's actually jealous of Sean!

I burst out laughing at her, I just can't help it. The idea of anything happening between me and Sean is just so funny. She's cute when she's mad and right now she's downright adorable as she glares at me.  
"What's so funny?" She huffs and I have to put my hands over Albert's ears before I answer her. He just laughs like we're playing a game.  
"You're fucking jealous, aren't you?" I know she is. I can see it written all over her face, and her response just proves it all the more.  
"Fuck you Katie!" she growls and tries to shove past me. I catch her arm and pull her in close, wrapping my arms around her neck as I crush our lips together, finally giving her the good morning kiss I had intended to give her before Sean rang. She melts in to me and doesn't try to pull away as our lips part.  
"Sean's camp as Christmas. It's a work thing Friday." I shake my head at her as I chuckle. "Daft cow." It's sweet that she's jealous though. She wouldn't be if she didn't care. I almost invite her out to the exhibit Friday, but I'm still not ready to share that part of my life with her yet.

"I'm still going home." She grumbles, but most of her attitude is gone and she doesn't object when I lean in for another kiss.  
"Yeah, but you're coming back though." I inform her in a very matter-of-fact tone. "You owe me a date Campbell. Saturday." Maybe we could have a proper date. Maybe we could actually_ date _like normal people do. Maybe Effy's right, Naomi Campbell might just want me after all.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:So I suck at updating at the moment, but I've been reading more than I've been writing. You'd think it would be easier to write this since I already know what's happening, but I just haven't had the time to write. Going to try and get back in to regular updates to get this finished :)  
**

"No Naomi last night?" Effy asks as she helps herself to a slice of toast from the plate resting on my lap. Her tone is sharp and cold. She's been back from Tony's a whole five minutes and I can already tell she's got a chip on her shoulder. She's always like this when she gets back from seeing him. Tony's a bit of a wanker and as much as he dotes on his little sister it's not like a weekend of drink and drugs would have done her much good; she's probably been off her meds since Friday. I know how erratic her moods can be when she's like this so I bite back any sarcastic comments to avoid a row.  
"She went back to London for a few days." I shrug like it's no big deal, but I'm honestly not one hundred percent sure she'll come back; it's not like she's big on sticking around when things get tough.  
"Making a break for it already?" There's no mirth in her voice as she takes a seat beside me on the sofa.  
"Just give it a rest, yeah?" I snap at her, my own patience in short supply today. I have enough of my own insecurities about what's going on with me and Naomi without Effy throwing hers in to the mix as well. "She'll be back by Saturday…we have a date." I try to sound confident about that, but my voice sounds strained even to my own ears.

Effy shakes her head at me, wearing one of those _you're an idiot _smirks spread tightly over her lips. I really don't get her sometimes. She's been telling me to go for it with Naomi, convincing me that there really could be something between us, and now she's done a complete U-turn and is looking at me like I'm thick. "You're not inviting her to the exhibit Friday then?" Friday is my first photography exhibit and I'm stressing about it enough without having Naomi there judging my work. I haven't even told my parents, because god knows I don't need my mother there telling me to focus on my 'real' job. Even Effy and Lara aren't invited until the Saturday. Sean my agent will be there for moral support Friday and the effeminate gay man will just have to do as a stand in for my overbearing mother. I still can't believe Naomi was actually jealous of _Sean._He's like the campest man I know, and given my profession that's something of an accomplishment.

I've got to admit it felt good to see her get jealous, like she really does care and this really does mean something to her. I spent so long being jealous of Emily that's it's nice to have the shoe on the other foot for a change. Ems just seemed to know it all when we were teenagers. She knew she was gay and she knew she wanted Naomi, she didn't try to hide behind shagging half the men of Bristol and popping pills to get so fucked out of her mind that she forget how crap her life was. Emily was brave enough to stand up to the world, and most importantly mum, and say '_yeah, I'm gay, so what?'_Even now I still can't do that. I could never tell mum and dad that I've been with girls, that I've loved girls…girl…Naomi. Sure I've shagged other girls, but I've never fallen in love with any of them. I've never even come close. It's just always been her.

"I don't want her there anyway. I'm going to grab a shower before my next shoot, do you fancy grabbing lunch today?" I call out to her as I head down the corridor to the bathroom. I peel off my pyjamas once the water is hot enough and step under the spray. It's absolute heaven and I could stand in here all day long. I think I hear the door, but when I pop my head around the shower screen and shout to Effy to ask who it is I get no response. Ignoring it, I go back to washing my hair and forget about the door until I'm wrapped in a towel and padding through the flat.  
"Eff?" There's no sign of her anyway and not even a note on the fridge to let me know where she's gone. I hate it when she does this, just goes off wandering on her own. I know she's an adult and she can do what she wants, but she's been starting to slip again and given the mood she was in when she came home this morning I'm not keen on her being out on her own.

I try her phone but she ignores it and it just makes me worry more. I call the model who's expecting me to do some casting shots for her this afternoon and reschedule with her. Hopefully she won't use someone else as I need the money, the bills don't pay themselves and if I want to spend more time on stuff like exhibits then I need to earn as much as I can from the jobs I get. Effy tries to help out when she can, but being a student she doesn't have much money. She offered to get a job last year, working a few nights in some bar in town, but I talked her out of it, insisting she had to focus on passing her degree so she can get a decent job and we can get an even nicer place. The truth is I don't want anything stressing her out. I don't think she's ready to hold down a job right now. I know everyone thinks I'm just being overprotective of her, but they only see what Effy lets them see. They all think she's coping fine, that she's put her depression behind her, but I live with the girl. I see her on her best days and I see her on her worst. Lately there hasn't been a whole lot difference between the two.

I go in the kitchen and check the pill box that I fill every week for her so that she takes the right pills on the right day. The last couple of days are still sitting in it, though I could have guessed that they would be since she didn't take the pill box to Tony's with her. I check the bottles and count each one just to make sure and sure enough there's an extra three pills that she should have taken over the weekend. "Effy." I grumble to myself as I replace the bottles back in the kitchen cupboard. I'm pretty sure Effy knows that I count her pills, though we don't really talk about it. Effy's illness is right up there with all the other things we don't talk about, like Freddie's death and the fact that we've shagged a couple of times.

I try her phone a few times throughout the afternoon and she keeps knocking off my calls. I'd go out and look for her if I had any idea where she could be. She finally comes home and the mood she comes home with is even worse than the one she had this morning. Her eyes are red from crying and she goes straight to the fridge for a beer. "Bit early isn't it?" I try to be tactful and smile like I'm teasing her, but she sees straight through me.  
"Just don't, yeah Katie? Just fucking don't start!" She shakes her head at me as she gets another beer out of the fridge and takes the two of them to her room. She slams the door shut behind her and the noise echoes through the flat. I sigh as I follow her, bracing myself for World War III.  
"What's going on? Where've you been?"  
"With your girlfriend." She snarls at me and she's already started on the second beer. "She came by when you were in the shower; we had a nice little chat...She's going to break your heart you know. People like me and Naomi, weren't not meant to love people, we just end fucking them up." She laughs and I can smell something stronger than beer on her breath.

"Eff, that's not true." I try to talk her down, but she's having none of it. I know this isn't about me or Naomi, but it still hurts to have her say what she knows I'm thinking. "You don't fuck people up-"  
"Oh no? I hit you in the head with a fucking rock, Katie!" She giggles again and I'm not sure whether it's the drink or going so long without her pills. "Cook, Freddie, Em-" She stops mid-rant and I'm not sure what she was going to say, but something seems to sober her up as she puts the half empty bottle down and shakes her head at me. "Just leave me alone Katie, please?" She doesn't wait for me to answer as she lies down on her bed and pulls her blanket up over her head.

I leave her to sleep off whatever's she's going through. I don't know what's gone on with her and Naomi but there's more than one way to find out. If Effy won't tell me I'll go and see Naomi. I'll ask her why the hell she lied about spending the week in London too. I mean if she didn't want to fucking see me she could just say so, she doesn't need to lie to me! Picking up my keys from the table by the front door I pull on a jacket and head down to my car. In the time it takes me to get to Naomi's house I've managed to work myself up in to a fit of rage. I'm stressed out as it is right now without having to worry about Effy having a minor melt down, which I can only presume has something to do with Naomi, and on top of that I'm exhausted from not sleeping right for the last few weeks; again Naomi's fault.

So when she opens the front door to me with a wary smile, I'm instantly on the attack. "What the fuck did you say to Effy?" I shove her back in to house and invite myself in as I kick off at her.  
"Nothing she was the one who had a go at me! About our date, thanks for telling her by the way!" Naomi and I are too similar, faced with someone shouting at us we'll both always react the same way; by shouting louder. I tell her to forget about our date, though I regret it as soon as I say it. I know I'm not really mad at her. I'm mad at myself for not keeping a closer eye on Effy. The signs that she's struggling have all been there for weeks, I've just been too wrapped up in my own shit to realise. I've been focusing on Naomi too much, leaving my best friend to fend for herself.

"Fine by me!" She snaps back and I know I've screwed up by coming over and making a scene, but it's too late to do anything about it now.  
"Fine!" I huff at her, not wanting to lose face by admitting that I'm bothered that she's just given up on our date so easily. All we seem to do is take two small steps forward and then a giant leap backwards. I'm ready to turn and walk out, I can already feel tears beginning to well up in my eyes; but then I see something on Naomi's expression. I see the hurt look in her own eyes and realise we're both in the same predicament. We both want to take back what we've just said, but neither of us is good at saying sorry. So of course I do the only logical thing and push her up against the wall and slip my tongue in to her mouth as I kiss her like it's the last chance I get.

She's startled by my reaction but it doesn't take long for her to start kissing me back and she puts up no objection when I unbutton her jeans and slip my hand down them. Fuck, I've missed this. She was only away for one day, but I still feel like I've gone stir crazy in twenty four hours and I need to make up for lost time.  
"Fuck!" She gasps in my ear as I slip two fingers inside of her and build up a steady unrelenting pace. One of her hands pushes against my elbow, urging me on as her other hand tugs at my hair. "Upstairs." Our lips part long enough for her to get one word out and we start heading for the stairs. I keep my hand exactly where it is though and feel her muscles clenching and unclenching around my fingers as we stumble towards the staircase. We end up falling as we reaching the landing at the top of the stairs and I just can't wait long enough to get to her room, so I end up straddling her as I push her jeans down and push her legs apart with my knees as I bury my fingers deeper inside of her. She gasps and moans as I fuck her right there on the floor and I'm so lost in what we're doing that I don't notice the pain from her nails digging in to my back. I don't miss the sound of the front door opening though.

"Shit!" I scramble off her and we rush towards her room. Naomi stumbles as she struggles to pull her pants up from around her ankles. We slam her bedroom door behind us and sink to the floor and I can't help but burst in to a fit of giggles at Naomi almost being caught with her pants down; quite literally. She's red faced and out of breath and I love the fact that I caused that glow on her cheeks. She tries to scowl at me, but she can't quite manage it and ends up laughing along with me.  
"Naomi, you in, luv?" Gina calls up to her and I have to bury my face in her lap to smother my giggling as she shouts down to her. I feel her breath hitch as my cheek rubs up against her thigh. She absently runs her fingers through my hair and I'm glad I'm hiding my face right now because I'm grinning like an idiot. Once I wipe the stupid smile off my face, I get to my feet and go over to her bed.

Once she's happy Gina isn't going to come upstairs she turns her attention back to me and apologises for upsetting Effy. I shrug it off and explain that Effy was in a mood long before she spoke to Naomi. I don't mention how worried I am about her because I know how much Effy hates people treating her like she's a nut job, or even worse, pitying her. "So where are you taking me Saturday then?" I ask her, like the argument downstairs never happened. If there's one thing I got from my mother it's an amazing sense of denial. Our date seems to be the last thing on Naomi's mind as she crosses the room and kneels down in front of me. I'm wearing a skirt so when she presses her lips to my thigh she's kissing my bare skin and I know where this is going.

"Naomi, stop." I try to pull away and she goes in for another kiss. I don't want this to just be about sex. She promised me a date and she's not getting out of it that easy. It's also a bit weird being in her room for the first time, knowing she's slept with my twin countless times on this very bed. I remind her of this and it seems to do the trick as she lets out a heavy sigh and nods in agreement. "I've got this work thing on Friday and shits loads to do for it tomorrow, can we just…" I don't really know what I want to do. I don't want to go back home, but I don't want to fuck Naomi in this room either. I just want to spend some time with her, but I'm scared to say it out loud. I don't want to push her away. I don't want to be one of those fucking needy clingy girls, but I just can't help turning in to one around the blonde that I've fancied for years.

Thankfully I don't have to ask her for anything. "How about I order a pizza and we watch a movie?" She suggests as she climbs on to the bed beside me; but doesn't try anything on. She cuddles in to me as we argue over what to watch and it feels nice to just be doing something normal and not be worrying about Effy for a change. I even manage to forget about Emily for a while; though the fact that she's coming home soon is never far from my mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry for the wait guys. I've just been off my game with my writing lately and had to take a bit of break from the Skins fandom. Writing for other stuff seems to have helped though and I'm focused on getting this finished. Once again a big thanks to everyone who's still reading and for the feedback; especially from Reddawg82, whose Kaomi fic 'Switch' got me hooked on this pairing :)**

"Effy!" I can't breathe. My mouth is open and my lungs are taking in air, but I might as well be trying to breathe under water for all the good it's doing me. Effy and Naomi are standing in front of my work; the exhibit Naomi was _never _meant to see. The blonde looks shell shocked as she ignores my outburst and carries on staring at the photographs artistically attached to the chain link fence in the corner of the room devoted to my work. There are at least two pictures of her, and I know which one she's focusing on. The oldest one; the one from the barbeque in her back garden, taken that fateful day when both mine and Emily's worlds fell apart. The day we found out Dad was a fuckup and Naomi was a cheat.

Effy's watching me with her cool detached gaze and I'm still trying to figure out whether she's done this to help me, or to hurt me. To get back at me for meddling in her life too much. "I thought you were coming tomorrow with Lara?" I give her the benefit of the doubt and try to keep my tone of voice as level as possible.  
"I thought Naomi might want to see your work. She's in to that kind of thing." She shrugs like it was a spur of the moment . She knows damn well I didn't want Naomi anywhere near here; especially not on my opening night when I've got a stomach full of butterflies to start with. I don't need this crap from her. We're not kids trying to one up each other anymore.

"I need some air." Naomi finally turns to look at me and her expression is harder to read than Effy's, which really is something of an achievement, but not remotely helpful for my already frazzled brain. She slips off through the crowd and disappears out of the room.  
"What the fuck?" I finally snap at Effy and she looks less than intimidated. Even in my heels I'm a good head shorter than her. She just shrugs her slender shoulders again as she sips at a glass of champagne, waiting for me to challenge her for drinking with her medication. I'm too angry to care right now.  
"You need to tell her the truth, Katie. Unless you want Emily to come back and take her?" I feel my cheeks burning with anger as Effy stares me down. She might as well have just clobbered me with a rock again.

I don't dignify her comments with a response. I just turn on my expensive heel and storm out, finding myself chasing after a certain blonde once again. She's sitting on the front stairs, a lit cigarette between her fingers and a faraway look in her eye. I take a seat beside her, pulling my knees up to my chest to avoid flashing anyone in my short dress. She doesn't acknowledge me, so we sit in a silence for a good few minutes while I try to think about how I'm supposed to put years of angst and unresolved feelings in to words.

"Remember I told you I found my first camera?" I bit my lip as she nods at me, still not looking me in the eye. With those first few words come a deluge. I can't stop talking as I tell her how I found the camera in one of her spare rooms and used it to take a photo of her the day of the barbeque, not long after she'd announced to the whole world that she'd fucked Sophia. She'd been sitting in a plastic chair, her long blonde hair pulled back, her mascara running down her cheeks and an old brown cardigan wrapped around herself. She'd looked broken and beautiful at the same time and my finger had just pressed the shutter on the camera, immortalising the moment in black and white for all eternity. Most of my pictures are like that, beauty among urban chaos and ruin. There's something soothing about documenting people at their worst, almost like a reassurance that things can get better. Broken things can mend, given long enough.

"You looked so lost. Watching Ems." I take her hand and lace our fingers together. She doesn't pull away, which is probably a good sign, but she still doesn't look at me. Well here goes nothing. It's time for the truth, the whole painful truth and nothing but. "You were always watching Emily. Even we were younger…you never saw me." My voice cracks as she finally turns her head to look at me. Her brilliant blue eyes bore in to me like a drill, trying to strip away the layers I hide behind.  
"What's going on Katie?" She sighs, sounding more concerned than angry with me. "You hated me when we were kids." She goes for a smile but doesn't quite pull it off. She couldn't be more wrong.

I _never _hated her. In middle school I _tried _to talk to her. I _tried_ to include her, to make her my friend, but she wasn't interested. She was a loner. She didn't let _anyone _in. Not until that house party when she kissed Emily. I walked in on them and it hurt. It really fucking tore me apart, knowing that she wouldn't give me the time of day, but she'd kiss my twin. I tell her all of this and she listens intently, not interrupting until I fall silent and stare down at our joined hands. Her thumb's been stroking the back of my hand this whole time. I don't even know if she realises she's been doing it.

"You were jealous?" she asks in a pitifully small voice, like she expects me to scoff at her for suggesting such a thing.  
"I was angry!" I snap, living up to her expectations. I don't want her fucking pity. It's not like I spent years moping over her like Emily did. I moved on. I lived my life. "You never fucking noticed me! It was always her! For the first time in my life someone paid more attention to Emily than me, and I fucking hated you for it! Both of you! Emily was so fucking sure about who she was and what she wanted…" I hate myself for the tears I feel pricking against my eyes. I don't want to cry in front of her, not over this; not over her.  
"Katie-" she starts, but then abruptly stops. She has no idea what to say to me. I get to my feet, preparing to go back inside. I'm not surprised. It's not like I expected her to tell me she'd fallen for the wrong twin, for her to get down on her knees and declare her undying love for me. I stopped expecting anything from her a long time ago; which is what makes her next words such a shock when she stands and presses her lips to mind, kissing me softly before pulling away and cupping my cheeks in her hands. "I see you now."

I choke back a sob as I bury my face in the side of her neck and hold on to her like I'm about to lose her. Effy was right. I needed to be honest with her. I needed to speak up, to try and stake my claim on her before Emily gets back. I can't lose her. I _won't_ lose her, not after how hard I've fought to get her. I played the good sister all those years ago. I _let _Emily have her, but she's had her chance. Now it's my turn.  
_  
_We stay outside for a few more minutes while I dry my eyes and fix my makeup. Thank god for whoever invented water proof mascara or I'd be looking like a deranged panda right now. When we make our way back inside I have to go back to talking to all the movers and shakers that Sean wants to introduce me to, and I have to leave Naomi with Effy and the Brazilian guy she seems to be drooling over. She doesn't show much interest in guys anymore, so it's nice to see her flirting. I even forget that I'm mad with her as I press my lips to her cheek and whisper a soft thank you in her ear. She might have been a bitch about it, but she's made me realise I need to step up to the plate if I want to keep whatever it is that Naomi and I have.

The rest of the exhibit thankfully runs smooth. I sell a few prints, which will go towards paying the bills this month and maybe updating my wardrobe a bit. It quietens down towards the end of the night and I get a chance to grab a glass of champagne and introduce Naomi to my agent, Sean. I know she stills feels like a right prick for being jealous of the middle aged, bald (and very gay) man and I make sure to rub it in just a little when we get a minute to ourselves.

It feels good to get back to the flat around midnight, kick off my heels and open a bottle of wine. Effy excuses herself to go to bed, thankfully alone as she didn't invite the Brazilian guy back. I don't know what's gotten in to her this week, but hopefully she'll wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow. Naomi sits on the side of my bed as I remove my makeup and get changed for bed. As I slip out of my dress, a gorgeous little number in vibrant blue, her eyes are glued to me. I smirk as I catch her staring at me. She definitely sees me now.

"Perv." I laugh as she holds her hands up at being caught out. "You staying over tonight?" I try to sound casual about asking her, but given what has happened tonight it's a little hard to play it cool. She knows I want her to stay over. She knows just how badly I want her full stop.  
"Sure. I should probably check with Eff though, she was my date tonight after all." She smiles, her eyes alive with mischief as she makes as if she's heading for the door. I cut her off by taking hold of her hand and pulling her in close so I can kiss her. I'm dressed in only my matching bra and underwear set and my skin feels cold pressed against the material of her dress. Our lips linger together for a while until I pull away and head to the door myself to go in to the bathroom.  
"You left some of your stuff; I washed it and put it in the bottom drawer." I nod towards the drawers in the corner of my room before slipping out the door for the bathroom.

It's only as I'm standing alone, staring at my reflection in the mirror hanging over the sink that I realise just how fucking domestic that sounded. I washed and ironed her clothes and cleared out a space for her without really thinking about it. Which is a pretty big deal, seeing as I have a fuck-load of clothes to start with and I need all the space I can get; yet I've cleared out an entire drawer for a few of her t-shirts, some pyjamas and some odd socks. Fuck, I'm definitely whipped. I don't have long to dwell on what's going on in my bedroom as Naomi follows me in to the bathroom. She picks up her toothbrush, the one she left here last week, and just stares at it like she's not sure what she's supposed to do with it. As I watch her I know the feeling.

"Works better with toothpaste babe." I shake my head at her as fumbles with the toothpaste and almost drops the top from it down the sink. I think she's freaking out over the drawer. "Don't be long." I kiss her cheek, hoping that she'll follow me back in to my room and not make a beeline for the front door. She doesn't. After a few minutes she comes back in to my room and finds me already under the covers, propped up on my elbow and watching her as she shuffles in to the room. Something's wrong. I can see it written all over her face. "What?" I try to push for her to talk about whatever's eating at her, but she carries on just staring at me for a few long awkward moments that seem to stretch out for a life time. Is this when she runs? When she does what she does best and shuts out the rest of the world; me included.  
_  
_I wait for her to speak, almost forgetting how to breathe as I feel my chest tightening. Her soft pale skin and platinum hair almost make her glow in the darkness off my room. She could be an angel; a beautiful broken angel that it about to rip my heart out without even knowing it.

"I think I might be falling in love with you."

Ok. Not what I was expecting. Fuck, remember to breathe Katie; in, out, in, out, you've been doing it for long enough. I stare at her, dumbstruck by her admission. I know we've grown close, but I never expected her to say those words to me. The most I've let myself hope for is that she likes me for me. That she's not just doing this to have some part of Emily back. She looks terrified as she waits for me to respond. Eventually her nerves get the better of her and finally mumbles, "Well say something then…"


	13. Chapter 13

"No one could blame you babe, I'm fit." I make some wise crack and she rolls her eyes at me before climbing in to bed beside me. I cuddle in to her side and she kisses my cheek as she wraps her arms around me. It's all pretty domestic.  
"You're beautiful." She sighs against my cheek and my lips curl up in to a smile.

"I think I've already fallen babes." I wait with baited breath, expecting her to run away; but she doesn't. She clings to me all the more tightly, like she thinks I'm the one that's going to run. "Better not screw it up with a crappy date." I crack, trying to lighten the mood. She laughs and things feel easy between us again. I could have killed Effy for bringing her to the gallery tonight, but I guess she did me a favour in the long run.

It's been a long night and it doesn't take either of us long to fall asleep. Naomi's pretty restless throughout the night though and she wakes me up more than once. "Babe, go to sleep." I grumble at her as I turn over, my lips brushing against her cheek. She turns to meet my lips and we just lie there in the dark kissing. "Baby…" I bite at her lip, my body beginning to wake up. Her hands slide under my nightshirt and I know exactly what she's after as she kisses my neck. I play hard to get, pretending to be asleep again as she sighs in my ear. "I've been thinking, I want you to come to London with me. Today, for our date." She catches me off guard and I sit up, giving up the act that I'm still sleeping.

"I've got a shoot at eleven." Our date is supposed to be at the weekend. I can't just drop everything to go to London with her. I do love her, and I want to spend time with her, but I have a life to live. When the summer's over and she goes back to London I'm still going to be here, doing my job. I can't afford to potentially lose clients by rearranging shoots.  
"We'll go after then! Cone on, you said you wanted to be impressed…" She pushes and I know she's not about to back down on this. It's not what she does. "So let me impress you." She leans in for another kiss and I pull away with a smirk.  
"First time for everything."

She ignores my attempt to wind her up and instead kisses my neck again, running her hands along my stomach and pushing my top up. Her head drops to my stomach as she kisses her way down to the waistband of my shorts. Then she stops. "Why'd you stop?" I grumble impatiently. "For fuck sake Naomi!" I practically growl at her as she pulls down my shorts and kisses me everywhere but the one place I want her lips.  
"It's ok Katie…I'm not that impressive anyway, am I?"

Except she is and she fucking knows it as her skilful tongue finds my core. My hips buck forward and I'd probably be off the bed if Naomi wasn't pinning me down. "Fuck, you are, ok? Just…please…" I'm Katie Fitch; I'm not used to begging. She knows this too and she pulls away again. "I'll come to London, ok? Whatever you want babes…" My fingers tangle in her hair as I try to push her head back down. Her lips find me again and I cry out, because fuck me, she knows exactly what she's doing to me.

We fall asleep what seems like hours later, curled up together and both as naked as the day we were born. When I wake up again Naomi is still pressed up against my back with her arms wrapped around my waist. I lie there for a bit, not wanting to move a muscle. I want to stay here in bed with her all day, but I know I've got to get dressed for the shoot I've got in a couple of hours. I slip quietly out of bed and take a shower before getting some breakfast. I potter around in the flat for a bit and as I'm leafing through the post I feel Naomi's arms slip around me and her chin resting on my shoulder. "Morning." My lips curl in to a smile as I turn and catch her cheek.  
"Morning babes."

She nips at my neck and I laugh as I try to pull away. Her arms are still wrapped around me though, stopping me from going anywhere. I toss the letters in my hand aside and turn to face her, giving her a long and lingering kiss. "Mhmmm…good morning."

She tries to talk me out of going to work, but I've already moved my schedule around to spend the day with her tomorrow and I can't cancel this morning's shoot on such short notice. In this business I need my reputation more than anything. I give her a kiss before I leave and she's still pouting as she sees me to the door. "I'll be back in a few hours. Then I'm all yours." I laugh, I never had her down as the clingy type; I've got to admit it's kind of nice to have her trying to persuade me to spend the whole day with her as she helps me carry my equipment to the car. I cut her off with another kiss, even though we're standing on the street and anyone could see. I guess I'm just not that scared of people finding out about me now. I see why it was so easy for Emily to come out; she had Naomi and those baby blue eyes there for her. Maybe if I'd had Naomi on my side back then I could have been a little braver too. "I'll see you this afternoon babe."

The morning passes agonisingly slow. All I can think about is Naomi, and for once it's me screwing up the shoot, not the models. I eventually call it a day around noon and pack my stuff up as quickly as I can, all but throwing the expensive equipment in to the boot of my car. My phone goes off a couple of times, but as I'm driving I just ignore it until I pull up outside the flat. I frown as I see Emily's name on the screen. She's tried to call a couple of times, but it can't be that important if she hasn't left a voicemail or even bothered to text. I ignore her and shove the phone back in to my purse. I'll call her later. I'm not exactly going to win any sister of the year awards as it is anyway. I'm practically skipping up the stairs, looking forward to my date with Naomi, when I crash straight in to her as she comes storming down the stairs. I laugh as I latch on to her arm to keep me on my feet. "What's the rush? Eager to-" She cuts me off with a kiss. It's not like one we've ever shared before. Her lips are possessive and insistent; almost desperate. Something's wrong.

As she finally pulls away, though she keeps her arms locked around the back of my neck to keep me close, I notice her watery eyes and red cheeks. "Come with me. Right now. Let's just leave, ok?" Her voice is choked and she's trying to tug me towards the door.  
"What's up with you?" I laugh. I think it's more nerves than anything else, because something is very wrong. In my experience there's only one thing that unnerves the blonde this much; I'm praying I'm wrong as I tug my hand free of hers. "I've got to pack a bag and check on Effy. I'll be an hour tops, then I'm all yours." I smile at her, trying to reassure her as I lean in for another kiss, she stiffens as my lips find hers.  
"Please." Her eyes are wide and full of fear and I feel like I'm on a train that's about to run out of track.  
"Babe, what's wrong?" I try to cup her cheek but she pulls away from me all together. "What is it?" I know. I know what she's about to say before her lips even part.  
"Emily. She came home early. She's upstairs."  
_  
_And just like that everything changes. I'm a seventeen year old kid again, watching the girl I love crying her heart out over my sister. Emily's back and nothing matters anymore. My highflying career, my gallery exhibit, my expensive apartment….none if it means a damn thing anymore; not when Emily only needs to snap her fingers and I'll lose everything that matters to me. I'll lose Naomi. "Come with me." She tries again, tugging on my arm. I pull away and wrap my arms around myself; to stop from reaching out for her. I can't fool myself in to thinking that we've had can last. She can tell me she loves me all she wants, but we both know I'm her second choice.  
"I'm sorry."

After Naomi storms out of the front door I'm left on my own halfway up the stairs. I slump down on to one of the steps and draw my knees up to my chest. I bury my face in my hands and try not to let out the scream I feel welling up inside of me. My whole body's shaking as the first sob escapes and after that I'm fighting a losing battle trying to stop the rest. It takes me a good long while to sort myself out, but eventually I push my hair back from my face and pull my compact out of my purse to fix my makeup. Somehow I make it up the rest of the stairs and get my key in to the front door without throwing up. "Eff…I'm home." My voice comes out stronger than I expected and I think I might just be able to do this; then I walk in to the living room and straight in to my sister. We haven't spoken much in months, not since she walked in on me and Effy sleeping together last year. "Hey…you're here then." It's more than awkward as we stand there in the middle of the living room like we're about to have a standoff.  
"Yeah, I tried calling…it's good to see you."

Emily makes the first move and steps forward to pull me in for a tight embrace. I hug her back, but it's an automatic response. I love her and I want things to be ok between us, but right now I just feel numb. I want to go to my room, slam my door shut like stroppy teenager and scream in to my pillow until I lose my voice. It doesn't happen of course. It's my house, I'm the host and I have to entertain my sister. I'm like a robot for the rest of the afternoon, going through the motions as we make small talk. Emily mentions seeing Naomi earlier and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming. I don't miss that look in her eye, the little glint as she says the blonde's name. She still loves her. I know for a fact she does. I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole, luckily I get the next best thing as Effy suggests an afternoon out at the pub. My omniscient best friends can see I'm coming apart at the seams and I'm grateful when she talks Emily in to going.

"You coming Katie?" She asks, though she already knows the answer and doesn't put up much of a fight when I decline.  
"Uh, no. Thanks, but I've got a migraine. I'm just going to go lay down."  
"Ok, we won't be late." I could care less. She could walk Emily out of that door and never bring her back for all I care. It's selfish I know, but I put my sister first when I walked away from Naomi. I could have just let her lead me out to the car. We could have been miles away by now, far away from Bristol and every fucked up thing in it. No, I can't think about Emily right now, or even Naomi. I need to focus on me right now.

Locking my bedroom door behind me, I peel off my clothes and climb in to bed. I'm fighting back tears as I bury my face in the pillow, trying not to make too much noise until Effy and Ems have left the flat. I'm lying on Naomi's side of the bed though, with my face in her pillow and the familiar scent of her overwhelms me. The tears fall thick and fast as I curl up with the pillow pressed against my chest and end up crying myself to sleep. I could have been with Naomi right now. I could be cuddling in to her, rather than just her pillow; I could have been, if I'd just been a little braver. If I'd trusted her to still want me now that Emily's back. I didn't though. I pushed her away without giving her a chance. It just scared me though. Emily comes back and her first instinct is to _run_.Maybe she hasn't changed all that much since college? Maybe none of us have.

Sitting up I wipe away my tears and rummage through my purse for my phone. I can't just leave things how they are. I need to talk to her. I need to be strong enough for the both of us. My hands are shaking as I dial her number and bring the phone up to my ear. After a couple of seconds the call connects and Naomi's phone starts shrieking from over under the covers, where she left it this morning. Fuck! My eyes well up again as everything gets the better of me and I toss my phone away, not caring when I hear it thud off the floor. I bury my face in her pillow again and let it all out.

I manage to get a couple of hours of sleep and when I wake up I'm slightly more functional. I change in to a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt and make myself some dinner. It ends up in the bin though, I just can't stomach anything. My guts are churning and I feel like I'm going to throw up everything I ever ate. I get a beer out of the fridge instead and nurse it over on the sofa until I hear the front door banging open. Here we go again. Cook, Effy, Emily and Naomi pile in to the living room and Naomi ends up on the sofa beside me, with Emily on her other side. She giggles, apparently over nothing, and I think she's either drunk or high; or maybe a little bit of both. "Anyone want a beer?" I ask, playing the part of the good little host. My mother would be so proud.  
_  
_Naomi doesn't say anything; she just quietly shrinks in on herself. The others all want a drink so I get four bottles out of the fridge. I think I'm going to need something stronger soon though. I'm trying to remember where I hid that extra bottle of Jack Daniels when I walk back over to the others and find Naomi missing. I excuse myself to the bathroom and carry on walking past it towards my room. Sure enough, when I push the door open, I find Naomi slumped on my bed. She watches me as I close the door behind me and cross my arms over my chest. I don't get a chance to open my mouth when she gets to her feet and suddenly her hand is at the back of my head, pulling me flush against her as she crushes our lips together. It feels the same as it did before; desperate. Like it's the last kiss we'll ever share.

"So that's it, yeah? She's back so you want her again…" There I go on the defensive again, being a bitch and presuming the worst. I think I get it from my mother. The women in my family are all slightly nuts; except Emily. She's pretty level headed. Maybe I got her share of crazy too. Naomi's eyes widen at me as her mouth falls open.  
"What? No! I…me and Ems…that's over Katie!" I bite my lip as I look down at the floor. I want to believe her. I really do; but there's this tiny nagging voice in the back of my head reminding me how much she hurt my sister. "I saw how upset you were this morning Naomi. If it's no big deal than why did you get so worked up? I'm nobody's second choice Naomi. If you want her…if you want her, then you can't have me." The words leave my lips before I can really think them through. I know I've said the right thing though. She needs an ultimatum. Me or Emily; there's no middle ground, no compromise. One or the other, time to choose.

She tries to answer there and then, but I don't want a spur of the moment answer. I want, no, I _need _her to think this through. I need to know that if she chooses me now she isn't going to change her mind halfway down the line. I take a steadying breath and take a step back, putting some distance between us so I can say what I need to as I stare her down. "Just think it over, ok? I'm giving you a chance here Campbell, you can walk away and that's it…but if we do this, then I've got to know it's me you want to be with. Not her. I'm not a fucking substitute for anyone." She stares back at me, her tears drying up as I take a step forward and press my lips to her cheek. "Think it over." I walk out, leaving her alone in the dark in my room. Taking my place on the sofa back I pick up my bottle of beer and finish it in one long gulp. Naomi follows me in after a couple of minutes and takes a seat next to Cook.

I sneak subtle glances her way when I can; and every time I do I find her looking at Emily. My stomach churns as she catches me watching her watch my sister and I'm not so sure giving her time was a good idea. I should have just thrown a giant Katie Fitch tantrum and demanded that she stay away from Emily; but I can't. We really aren't the people we were in college. I just have to trust she'll make the right choice; and trust that I'm it.


	14. Chapter 14

The party, if you can call the five of us sitting in my living room with a few beers and the radio on a party, lasts late in to the night until Naomi falls asleep on the sofa and I eventually order a taxi for Cook and kick him out. I throw a blanket over Naomi and leave out some painkillers and a note on the bench for her. She's really put a lot away tonight and I know the first thing she'll do when she wakes up in the morning is head for the kitchen. I scribble 'Fresh orange in the fridge, K xxx' on a post it note and stick it on the bench next to the strip of pills; but then I think about Emily wandering in and finding it first and I crumple the note up, rewriting it with only one kiss on the end. That's ok right? I mean _friends _can put a 'x' on the end of their notes can't they? Emily's been home less than a day and I already hate this, I'm second guessing myself at every turn. I know what we're doing is wrong. If Emily finds out she's going to freak and I don't want some stupid post it note giving us away.

When I pad back in to the kitchen I find Effy and Emily still curled up on one of the sofas. They were pretty close before Emily moved away for uni. The summer we buried Freddie and Naomi ran away to London, the three of us were inseparable. Even when Emily went away for school she checked in on Effy almost daily; until last summer when she walked in on the two of us in bed and flipped. I know she was freaking out about seeing me with a girl, and I don't think the girl in question being one of her best friends helped matters in the slightest, but it wasn't just me she was mad with. She took it out on Effy too. For a while I thought she'd maybe had a crush on Effy, that maybe she'd latched on to the first girl who had offered her any sort of attention after Naomi had broken her heart. "I'm going to go to bed; I'll see you in the morning Em." We share an awkward hug; it really has been a while since we've done this whole sisterly thing. Her staying here this summer was supposed to fix that, but with everything that's going on with me and Naomi it's hard to focus on building bridges. I'll just have to make do with not destroying anymore instead. "Oh, what time is your girlfriend coming tomorrow? Sorry, I forgot her name."

"Oh, yeah…Jen." Emily's eyes are a little glazed over, and it seems to take her a moment to remember who I'm talking about. She always was a light weight when it came to drinking. Effy shifts beside her as she leans over for the glass of wine she's been nursing for an hour. She really shouldn't be drinking, but I didn't want another tantrum from her like earlier so I've let it go tonight. "The train's due about one I think."  
"Ok, well goodnight. Try not to take me when you come to bed Eff." I head out of the living room, but pause just outside the door as I overhear Emily.

"Still sleeping together then? Cosy." Her tone is dry and I can almost picture the bitchy look on her face; it's the one I've perfected in the mirror for years.  
"I've told you we're not…" Effy starts defending herself and I leave them to it. Emily can think I'm fucking Effy as much as she wants, it might stop her from figuring out who I'm really sleeping with. I would give anything to be climbing in to my own bed and cuddling up to Naomi tonight, but instead she's crashed out on the sofa and I'm pulling the covers back on Effy's bed. I'm too exhausted to lie awake alone in bed for long and there's still no sign of Effy before I fall asleep. I feel the bed shift sometime in the early hours, when the morning light is already peeking through the curtains. She and Emily must have stayed up all night.

The second time I'm woken up by someone climbing in to bed with me it's Naomi slipping under the covers and softly kissing my lips. I let out a content little sigh as I begin to come around and feel her kissing her way down my stomach. This is how every morning should start. She reaches the waistband of my pyjamas before I open my eyes and grumble, "Effy said we're not allowed to shag in her bed." She doesn't listen to me though and quickly slips my pyjama bottoms down to carry on trailing soft kisses down the inside of my thigh. I've been dying to have her here like this all night so I don't make a move to stop her. Even though I really should; it's a little weird to think that the last time I had sex in this bed was with Effy. It's a little off-putting so I clamp my legs shut and pull Naomi up for a good morning kiss.  
"Did she say anything about the floor?" She pouts and I can't help but giggle as I contemplate whether that would be any less weird.  
"Ems is next door."  
"And I'm here, with you."

Right answer Campbell. I kiss her a little more forcefully than I should considering I can't let it develop in to anything more. She asks if we can meet for lunch and I say yes, needing to spend some time alone with her, but I've got to go pick Emily's girlfriend up from the train station at one. I've got the week off work to spend some time with Emily, and hopefully Naomi too, but the only thing she picks up on is that Emily's got a girlfriend and the morning goes downhill from there.  
_  
_"Could you look any more jealous? For fuck's sake!" She looks like I've just slapped her and I can't be arsed with this shit at this time of the morning. I push her away from me and climb out of bed.  
"Katie! It's not like that! What do I have to fucking say to you prove that I want you?" I fucking lo-" She's about to tell me she loves me. She's just been lying there mooning over my sister and now she's going to try and fob me off with the 'L' word, hoping I'll forget all about the shit between her and Emily. I stop her before she can say it, my tone of voice and the dangerous look on my face silencing her.  
"Don't you dare fucking say that me" Not when you're still in love with her!"  
"I'm not!"

I wish I could believe her. I really do; but she can't just shut off her feelings any more than I can. God knows I tried for long enough. I head for the door, intending to storm out as discreetly as I can with my sister sleeping next door, but she doesn't get the hint and she follows me. "Katie, wait!" Emily's standing in the hallway, just having come out of the bathroom and she looks at me curiously. I feel her cold gaze going straight through me, like she knows exactly what Naomi and I are arguing about. The blonde tries to grab my arm and I wrench away.  
"Just leave it, yeah?" I glare at her before carrying on with my dramatic storming away and head to the kitchen to make sure Emily doesn't find the note I left for Naomi last night. The note and the pills are gone, and I'm not sure whether that's down to Emily or Naomi, but I can't ask Emily without making her suspicious; and I'm flat out refusing to talk to Naomi. She tries all morning to get me on my own but I stick to Emily like glue, knowing she won't try to talk to me with my twin around.

She's as stubborn as me though and eventually she follows me to the bathroom and corners me, pushing me back inside as I try to push past her at the door. "What are you-" I'm cut off as her lips cover mine and her fingers tangle through my hair. I kiss her back. I can't help it. She's like a drug and I'm nowhere near ready to detox yet. I do manage to be the one who pulls away first though; life is all about little victories. "I'm in love with you." The words are out of her lips before I can stop her. Her big blue eyes are wide and pleading as they bore in to mine, urging me to believe her. "I'll prove it. Right here, right now. I'll tell her. I'll tell Emily and Effy and any fucker else who will listen that I'm in love with you-" I stop her rambling with a kiss; partly because I'm already craving her lips against mine and partly because I absolutely cannot have her telling Emily what's going on between us.

Emily and I didn't just stop speaking for almost a year because she caught me in bed with Effy. We stopped speaking because she caught me in bed with Effy, realised I was in to girls and put two and two together about why I was such a bitch to her and Naomi when we were kids. She isn't stupid. She knows I was jealous. She knows I wanted Naomi like she was a prized toy that Emily had claimed first; if she finds out Naomi wants me back she'll flip, and I can guarantee she'll hold a grudge for a lot longer than a year. I wrap my arms around her neck, leaning my head on her shoulder as her arms wrap protectively around me. "Shut the fuck up Campbell." I sigh with no real venom in my voice. I can't pretend to hate her. I love her. I love Naomi Campbell and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I can't say it back. Not now that Emily's back and I could lose Naomi at any moment. "You should go home; I'll try and come over to see you later." I give her another quick kiss before I slip out of the bathroom and hope no one's noticed our absence.

Naomi follows me back in after a few minutes and makes her excuses to leave. I want more than anything to just follow her out the door, but I can't. I say goodbye stiffly as she heads for the front door and Effy sees her out, leaving me and Ems staring silently at one another from across the living room. I hate how awkward things are between us. She's my sister; we should be able to be left alone in a room together without it going so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. The longer we're left alone, and I'm left stewing in silence, the more I just want to open my mouth and admit everything to her. Luckily Effy walks back in the room just as I'm about to say something and I come to my senses, clamping my mouth shut.

We've still got a couple of hours before we have to pick Jen, or whatever her name is, up from the train station so I suggest going for an early lunch in town. "Actually I've got some stuff to do. I'll meet you guys back here about half twelve, yeah?" She pulls on her jacket and heads for the door. Effy and I share a look before she rolls her eyes at me.  
"I wonder where she's going?"  
"Leave it Eff." I snap at her and scoop up my car keys from the coffee table. I need to get out of the flat and take my mind off Ems and Naomi. It's Lara's day off so I think I'll go see her and Albert.  
"I'll just stay here myself then." Effy remarks dryly, but I'm not really paying attention to her as I tie back my hair and shrug on my leather jacket.  
"I'll be back soon!"

"So now I'm stuck with Ems and her girlfriend all week! Naomi's clearly fucking mooing over Emily and Effy's being a stroppy bitch again-"  
"Breathe!" Lara scorns as she placed a cup of tea down in front of me with a plate of custard creams. "Look, I know I don't really know much about Emily and Naomi, but Ems had moved on and Naomi seems nuts about you. You have to trust her…you have to trust _both _of them."  
"Trust them? Naomi's been in love with Emily since she was _twelve! _Not to mention her track record, she fucked Sophia when she was supposed to be head over heels for my sister…how the fuck am I supposed to trust her?" I snap, taking out my frustration on my best friend who definitely doesn't deserve it. Luckily Lara knows what I'm like and she just shakes her head at me, like she's telling Albert off for drawing on the walls with his crayons.

"She was a kid back then Katie! When I first met Liam I was so in to him that I never thought I'd _ever _love someone else like I loved him; but things change." Lara barely mentions Liam, Albert's dad. He's been dead a while now and Albert doesn't really remember him. He calls JJ daddy; it's just easier that way. "You have to trust that Naomi's with you because she wants to be, not because she's still in to Emily."  
"She told me she loved me." I admit, sulking in to my tea as I remember how happy we were the other night. "I couldn't say it back. I mean, what was I meant to say? 'I've been in love with you since middle school, you know, when you were getting off with my sister!'"  
"Maybe you should just be honest with her?"  
"And what about Emily? She's only just started speaking to me after she found out I _fancied _Naomi. If she finds out we've slept together…she'll never speak to me again! Naomi will go back to uni at the end of the summer and I'll be left here with no sister and no family, because my mum would fucking disown me if she find out about me and Campbell!"

"First things first, let's get you through this week! We'll worry about everything else later." Lara takes charge, helping me to put things back in to perspective. "How about we have you all over for dinner tonight? That way you've got an excuse to see Naomi and you two could maybe sneak off early?" She smirks at me and I feel my spirits lifting at the thought of having some time alone with Naomi.  
"You are amazing you know that?"  
"I try." She laughs as she opens her fridge. She frowns as she picks out one of Albert's toys. There isn't much else in there. "You may have to take me shopping though."  
"Done. I've got an hour until I've got to pick Emily up to go to the station and I'll call Naomi about dinner later…you're right. We just need to get through Emily's visit. I can freak out about everything else later." Of course it's easier said than done and even as I scoop Albert up so we can head to the supermarket, I can't help but wonder if Emily's with Naomi right now. I want to trust Naomi, I really do, but it's pretty hard; considering her history.


	15. Chapter 15

I decide the best course of action for tonight is not to give Naomi too much time to stress about it, so I put off telling her about it until the last minute. Once I've finished shopping with Lara I drop her and Albert off at home and go back to the flat to pick up Emily. I slide my key in the lock, frowning at the sound of raised voices coming from inside. I can hear Emily shouting and for one agonising second I think that Naomi might have come back and told her everything. A rush of emotions wash over me, everything from anger to relief, but when I step inside the voices die down and I walk in on Eff and Emily having some sort of standoff in the kitchen. Effy is holding on to Emily's arm and she pulls away as she spots me walking in to the living room. That's the thing about open planned living; it's kind of hard to find some privacy. They both have these guilty looks on their faces and Emily can't look me in the eye as she puts some distance between her and Effy.

"You ready?" I don't bother asking what they're arguing about. Things have been strained between the two of them ever since Emily caught me and eff in bed together last year. I think she kind of blames Effy; like her getting me to sleep with her had turned me in to some rampant lesbian who fancies her twin's ex-girlfriend. In truth I've liked Naomi for almost as long as Emily has, maybe even longer. She just had the guts to come out and say it first.

"For what?" Emily frowns at me like she's completely forgotten she's picking up her girlfriend from the train station in like ten minutes. I roll my eyes at her as I stand with my hands on my hips and I'm really glad there isn't a mirror in this room as I probably look far too much like my mother right now.  
"Girlfriend? Train station? Jesus Ems, you spend one fucking day away from her and you forget the girl exists. Must be love." I quip, though I really wish I hadn't. I can tell by the flash of guilt that replaces the preoccupied look on her face that she wasn't just thinking about her girlfriend. Well, not her current one anyway.

"Fuck. Jen. Yeah, sorry, I'm ready." She pulls on her jacket, still refusing to even look at Effy as she does. I thought things were getting better between them, Effy was the one who talked her in to coming home this summer after all, but it seems that relations between everyone are still a little frosty at the moment. I'm not quite so sure this dinner party tonight is a good idea anymore. I suppose it's too late now though.  
"Oh, we're _all_ going to Lara and JJ's tonight for dinner. Jen can meet everybody there." I offer them both a big bright smile despite the churning feeling in my gut, and my tone leaves no room for arguing. Effy shrugs as she pushes herself up off the kitchen bench, her eyes still lingering on Emily's back.  
"I'll be there."  
"Sounds great." Emily manages with about just as much enthusiasm as Effy. God, it's going to be a long night and I haven't even gotten around to talking Naomi in to it yet.

The drive to the train station is agonisingly quiet. I've left my iPod in the flat and the car radio is broken so I can't even put any music on to try and kill the tense silence between me and Em. We're sisters. Silences are never supposed to be awkward. "So, what did you get up to this morning then?" I ask, trying to make casual conversation; and also a little curious as to where she went when she left the flat while I was out with Lara.  
"I went to Naomi's." My foot slams on the brake a little too roughly at a red light and I almost send us both crashing through the windscreen, thank god for seatbelts.

"Jesus, Kay!" She snaps as she sits back in her seat and runs a hand through her hair. It's still the same vibrant red it was in high school, though maybe a little shorter. She dresses like a typical student too, all jeans and hoodies and trainers. The only time I tend to wear trainers is at the gym on weekends. It's a stark reminder that we're living completely different lives now, though we still seem to have one thing in common.  
"Sorry." I mumble and the light changes. Slipping the car in to gear I pull off and focus on not totalling my precious Mini. This thing cost me a small fortune and I'd hate to wrap it around a lamppost because of Emily distracting me with revelations about going to see Naomi. I'm not quite sure why she'd go and see her in the first place. I know they never really finished things properly, but two years on is a little late to try for closure. She's never expressed any need for it before, so why now? Why, when Naomi and I are finally finding our feet, does my sister have to go and pull the fucking rug out from under us? "How is she? She seemed pretty out of it last night." I go for casual, but I'm pretty sure Emily can hear the strain in my voice. Hell, I'm pretty sure the bloke on the bike next to us can hear it.

She shrugs in response, not giving me an inclination as to why she went there; or more importantly, what happened between them. The silence builds between us again until it reaches a hilt and Emily finally mutters, "I went to tell her that I forgive her…for cheating on me with Sophia. I'm not a little kid, with these big ideas about romance and true love, anymore. I just wanted her to know that I get it. Why she did what she did." That doesn't really sound like closure to me. That sounds more like opening a whole can of worms that is going to make my life ten times harder. I swallow hard as I keep my attention on the road in front of me.  
"It sounds like you know what you're talking about." I comment, hitting the nail on the head as a pained expression crosses Emily's face.  
"I cheated on someone last year, not Jen; there was this girl and I really liked her, but there was this other girl and…I just couldn't help myself. I just _had_ to, do you know what I mean?" I nod slowly, understanding her completely. I know exactly what it's like to be drawn to someone so much that you just think _fuck the consequences_ and go for it anyway.

The train has already pulled in by the time we get to the station and we end up fighting our way through a crowd of peopled with bags and cases, until Emily excitedly points out a blonde girl as Jen. The other girl squeals excitedly as she catches sight of the twins and she's barely got her arms around Emily before she's crushing their lips together, her tongue finding its way down my sister's throat. Fuck me, that's not something I should have to witness. Emily's cheeks are burning as she pulls back from the other girl. She laces their hands together as she turns to me and introduces her new girlfriend. "Jen, this is Katie, Katie this is Jen."

"No need to ask whether you're her sister then?" The blonde jokes and just like that I hate her. I don't know why but something just doesn't sit right with me about this girl, and it's not just the way her hand is sitting on my sister's arse as she introduces her. She's pretty enough, in that blatantly gay way with her short blonde hair and her ripped jeans and multiple piercings. I don't know why, but she just doesn't seem like Emily's type. Though maybe that's just because the only comparison I've got to go on is Naomi and this girl most definitely has _nothing _on her.

I laugh at her stupid joke, because it's the polite thing to do and my mother raised me with good manners. Working in the fashion industry has given me a pretty thick skin and I'm used to faking a smile and pretending to laugh at jokes by lame wankers that I wouldn't look twice at if they weren't paying my wage. At least with Jen in the car the ride back to the flat isn't too painful, though now I've got to listen to her and Emily talk about people and places that I don't know and I feel like a fucking chauffer with them two sitting in the back.

I check my phone at a red light and debate whether or not to warn Naomi about dinner. It's still a little early though so I drop my phone back on to the dashboard. I don't want to give her time to think of a way out of tonight, so I'll call her later. Maybe an hour before Lara's expecting us all. Effy is noticeably absent when we get back to the flat, so I'm left alone with the happy couple until she finally swans in a couple of hours later. Emily and Jen have been in my bedroom, supposedly 'unpacking' for well over an hour and I've had the volume on the TV cranked up high to stop from overhearing anything that I really shouldn't._ Jeremy Kyle_ blares through the speakers, echoing around the cavernous living room, and it's nice to watch something about people with lives more screwed up than mine. I could just imagine us lot on this show, _'Jeremy, I'm fucking my twin's ex-girlfriend and she's not talking to one of her manic-depressive best friends because she walked in on us in bed together.'_

"Hey." Effy flops down beside me on the sofa, her long legs finding their way on to my lap as she makes herself comfy. "I watched this one this morning, neither of them are the dad." I nod at her, not really paying attention to the television anyway as I play with my phone. It's almost six and if I don't call Naomi now then I might as well just turn up on her doorstep at five to seven and drag her in to the car. I sigh as the phone rings a few times before Naomi finally picks up. "Hello?" Her voice sounds raw, like maybe she's been crying, and I try not to assume that it's over Emily's visit. I tell her we're going to Lara's for dinner and she doesn't put up too much of a fight, asking what time to show up for. I hope that she's agreeing to go so easily because she wants to see me, but a not so small part of me wonders whether it has more to do with my sister. The line goes quiet for a while as we agree to meet there for seven, and I wrestle over whether to say anything else with Effy sitting right beside me. Neither of us hangs up though and eventually I hear a heavy sigh down the other end of the phone.  
"I miss you already."  
"Yeah, me too."

"I'm sorry I invited Emily over for the summer." Effy apologises, her big blue eyes bottomless pools as she bites at her lip. She leans forwards and wraps her arms around me before resting her cheek against mine. It feels like we've been at each other's throats all week and it's nice to have things ok between us again. The rest of my world is going to shit and I'm pretty close to losing my sister and my sort of girlfriend. I can't lose my best friend too.  
"No you're not. I know you've missed her. She's missed you two, she just has to be a bitch about it. It's hereditary." I sigh as I hug her back. They've been pretty close since the last summer of college, the summer when everything pretty much blew up in our faces, and even if things can't be fixed between me and Em, I hope she finds a way to make things right with Effy.

"Right, I'm off to kick Emily and _Jen _out of my room so I can get ready for tonight. I need to look fabulous." I wink at her with forced cheeriness and it feels good to be able to goof around with her again. She laughs as she playful swats at my arse with the television guide.  
"What's she like anyway?"  
"I don't like her." I admit with an honesty that I haven't been able to have with Emily for a long time. Effy's been more like a sister to me these last couple of years.  
"She must be a bitch then." Effy nods, somehow managing to keep a straight face as I crack up.  
"This is why I love you." I laugh before kissing her cheek and calling out a warning to Emily that I'm heading in to my room.

When I walk in though they're just sitting on the bed, full clothed and sitting on opposite sides. Fuck, if Naomi and I get within five feet of a bed we seem to magically lose our clothes; along with any constraint or willpower. Jen beams at me like she's trying a little too hard and she gets the same forced smile right back as I pull open my wardrobe. "We're leaving in like forty minutes so make sure you guys are ready!" I insist as I gather the clothes I need and a fresh towel before heading for the bathroom. I'm planning on dropping the others off at Lara's for about quarter to seven and then going to surprise Naomi up by picking her up. We'll only have about ten minutes alone, but it's better than nothing; besides, we can fit a lot in to ten minutes.

I give her a call when I pull up outside her house, but instead of the loving greeting I expect I hear a gruff, "I'm leaving now!"  
"I'm outside." I snap back, my tone just as short. I had been excited about the chance to spend five minutes alone together, but I can already tell what kind of mood she's in as she storms out of the house, slamming the front door closed behind her. She's looking pretty good in a casual dinner kind of way, with her favourite pinstriped blazer on over a plan white t-shirt and those tight skinny jeans that hug her arse in all the right ways. Her hair is tied back and she's wearing a little bit of eyeliner and lip gloss, just enough effort without over doing it. She makes a quip about me chauffeuring her to make sure she goes and it doesn't help to lift my mood. "I thought it'd be nice to get five fucking minutes alone!" I growl at her and she has the good sense to look ashamed.

She mumbles an apology at me as I start the car. I really need to get that fucking radio fixed, because once again the silence in the car is unbearable. We stop at a set of traffic lights and her hand finds mine over the gearstick. We still don't speak, but her hand never leaves mine and the warmth on the back of my hand is enough to thaw my mood a little by the time we get to Lara's street. I stop in a parking space halfway down the street from Lara and JJ's house. I can see Naomi's about to ask why I've parked so far away, but I don't give her the opportunity. Leaning forward I kiss her, my tongue sliding past her parted lips. I've been craving this all afternoon and I'm not going to let the fact that we're barely speaking to each other get in the way.

I only intended for it to be a kiss, some quick reassurance that we're still ok, but I find my seatbelt coming off as I slide out of my seat and on to her lap. Naomi doesn't wait for permission as her hand slides up my skirt; and I am _really _fucking glad I chose a skirt tonight as her fingers brush against the thong I'm wearing. The tiny strip of material doesn't pose much of a barrier to her and her deft fingers brush against my most sensitive parts. She's barely even touched me and my body already feels like it is on fire. I wrap my arms around her neck and lift my hips, giving her the clearance she needs to slip inside of me.

Her movements are slow and torturous though, denying me the release I need as the tension between my thighs mounts to an almost painful point. As much as I would love to draw this out, to have her skilful lips and hands all over me, we're already running late and I don't want Emily to catch us fucking in my car. "Babes." I groan, the sound becoming lost in her mouth as I buck my hips against her hand. She curls her fingers at the same time as her lips curl in to a satisfied smirk and I almost consider giving up dinner all together.  
"Yes?" She breathes in my ear, knowing exactly what effect she's having on me as my voice catches in my throat.  
"Naomi!" I whine petulantly at her, her name the only word I seem to be able to form on my lips. I bite at her lip to get her back as her thumb brushes teasingly against the bundle of nerves at my core. She giggles in to my mouth and god, I fucking love this girl.

"I love you." She seems to read my mind and I bury my face in her shoulder as she finally gives me the release I've been begging for. My nails dig in to her neck and I'll just have to worry about the marks I leave later, along with the fact that my hair is probably I mess and I smell like sex. Once I come down from the high she slips her digits out of me and looks around sheepishly for what to do about her soaking wet hand. Deciding that it's time she had a little teasing herself I take her hand in mine and guide her two fingers to my mouth. From the way her eyes practically pop out of her head, and the low moan she bites back, I'm pretty sure I've done a good job of winding her up. I want her begging for my mouth elsewhere later and I won't be happy until my name becomes a prayer on her lips. Despite the rising sexual tension in the car we manage to compose ourselves and Naomi even runs hers hands through my hair in an attempt to sort it out for me. I smile at the gesture and press my lips to her cheek. I can't kiss her lips right now, if we start that again we'll never make it to Lara's. Instead I place my hand high up on the inside of her thigh. "I'll drive you home tonight, yeah babes?" She manages a nod at my suggestion as my fingers flex out, brushing against her centre and she tries not to whimper. Smiling I open the door and hop out of the car to head up to Lara and JJ's house; safe in the knowledge that I'm going to be the only thing on her mind tonight. _  
_


	16. Chapter 16

"Late as usual." Emily starts the second I step through Lara's front door. She's looking at me like she's trying to figure out why the short drive over from Naomi's took us so long. She isn't stupid and I'm worried she's starting to put the pieces together. That's the last thing we need, so I slip in to bitch mode and instantly blame Naomi. "I was on time! It's not my fucking fault numb nuts over here can't tell the fucking time." I hate this, I really do. I hate that I've got to act like someone else; someone I haven't been for a long time. I risk a quick look at Naomi, to try and let her know it's just an act, but her attention is elsewhere.

She's looking at Emily's girlfriend with an expression that makes my blood run cold. Her jealousy is written all over her face and I don't need to pretend to be in a mood with her anymore. The temper tantrum brewing up inside of me is very real. Jen has her hands all over Emily, like she's trying to prove a point. I really don't get why Emily's with her, she's not her usual type and something just doesn't sit right about the way Emily holds herself around the other girl, like she's not used to having her so close. She clings to Jen's hand like it's a lifeline, but I don't get long to think about it as Jen introduces herself to Naomi and the pair of them square up. It's fucking pathetic.

Thankfully Lara appears with Albert and I've got something to distract me as I take her from him. "Wine?" Lara asks as she hands Albert over to me and I give her a grateful smile. I'm driving but I can still have one glass. It's almost his bed time, but the toddler is still wide awake and he won't sit still as he squirms around in my arms. His face lights up as he catches sight of Naomi.  
"Gnomey!" He squeals in delight as I hand him over to the blonde. He's really grown attached to her this summer and it's going to be hard on him when she disappears to go back to university in a few weeks.

I take Albert in to the living room while Lara asks Naomi to help her in the kitchen. Lara _never_ lets anyone help her when she's cooking, so I'm pretty sure she's taking the blonde off to give her a break from Emily and Jen. So I'm not the only one who picked up on Naomi's unease around the happy couple. I take Albert in to the living room and find Cook and JJ already inside. Emily and Jen follow us in, but Emily makes an excuse to go off in to the kitchen, leaving me to babysit her girlfriend. Cook takes an interest in the blonde and he's making cracks about threesomes before the girl has even taken her coat off. She gives as good as she gets though and makes some joke about him having to ask Emily about it. I'm not overly keen on the girl, but I've got to admit that if she can hold her own against Cook then she'll fit in with us lot.

When Naomi comes in to the room she's carrying two glasses of wine and hands one to me as she takes a seat on the sofa just behind me. I'm sitting on the floor with Albert and one of his colouring books. There are only two sofas and an armchair so it's not like she has a lot of choice in where to sit, but I still feel a little uneasy with having her so close. There are too many of us for the dining room table, so we end up sitting with our plates on our laps and I'm sat between Effy and Naomi. I finish my first glass of wine and then switch to lemonade so I can drive home.

When Naomi finishes her wine she stands up to go get a refill from the kitchen and she offers to get one for Emily too. Their hands linger for a little too long as Emily hands over her glass and it takes everything in me to stop from glaring at the two of them. I give it a minute before following Naomi in to the kitchen. She has her back to me as she fills her and Emily's wine glasses up, so I quietly sneak up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist as my head rests on her shoulder. I press a kiss to her cheek and hear a little sigh escape her lips. I'm not going to like this. "You were right. I…I still have feelings for her."

I try to pull away, suddenly needing to put some space between the two of us before I explode at her. I knew there was still something there between them, but for once I'm not happy to be proven right. I never wanted this. I never wanted to be her constellation prize. She holds on to my hands though, stopping me from pulling away from her. "But you're the one I want Katie! I swear!" She hastily adds and I want to believe her. I want to believe that she wants me. She cups my face in her hands as she begs me to believe that it's me she wants. There's so much love in her eyes, and _genuine _affection, that I stop myself from screaming at her as I turn to press a kiss to her hand. I'm an adult now, I need to deal with this in a grownup way.  
"I don't do second best Naomi…So if you want Emily, tell me now, yeah? Because if we carry on with whatever this thing is, and you choose her over me…I swear to god I will fucking kill you." I try and give her a way out if she wants one, but in all honesty we've already went way past the point of opting out of whatever is going on between us.  
_  
_"I chose you." She backs up her words with a kiss and I don't fight her. I don't want to. I want to believe that I'm the one she wants. "Can we please go now? You could stay over tonight…just tell Emily you're seeing a guy or something…please Katie?"I'm ready to forgive her, and in a way I can even understand why she still has feelings for Em. She was such a big part of her life for such a long time and I can't expect her to just forget about what Emily used to mean to her; but at the same time I can't just forget about her admission. We can't just go back to how we were before Emily came back, no matter how much I wish we could.

I offer her a deceptive smile as I lean in close as though intending to kiss her and trail my hand down to her waistband. Our lips barely touch when I pull back and smirk at her frustrated expression. She's not getting off so easily. "Nope. You lied about Ems. You want a sleepover? I suggest you work damn hard to get back in my good books Campbell." If she's serious about wanting me then she's going to have to prove it. I give her a quick kiss before stealing her wine glass and flitting out of the room as she stares after me. She can chase me or she can run away; it's her choice.

I give her some time to make up her mind as I take Albert upstairs to bath him. He's still excited and unruly because of all the people in his house, but I managed to get him in and out of the bath and in to the Fireman Sam pyjamas I bought for him last Christmas. He's not ready for bed though and he keeps trying to get up to show me his toys. "Albert." I sigh as I tuck him in for the third time and try to go back to the story I'm reading him. He giggles and babbles away to himself as he picks up his stuffed bear and tosses it across the room.  
"Albert, that's enough." Backup arrives in the form of Lara and with one stern look the toddler is lying back under the covers with the face of an angel. Within half an hour he's asleep and I follow Lara as she tiptoes out of his room. If he wakes up I'm going to have to read his book to him all over again. _  
_

"How are you doing?" She questions me as we stand on the landing. I'm still not quite ready to go back downstairs and face the others and she knows it. I shrug as I wrap my arms around myself.  
"She still has feelings for Em…but she says she loves me-"  
"She does. I can see it." Lara insists and I'm glad she thinks so. Lara's a pretty good judge of character, at least she saw through my bullshit when we were younger; just like she saw through JJ's oddness to see the decent guy inside. He might be a little socially inadequate, but he's a brilliant dad and Albert is blessed to have such amazing parents. "Just give her a chance. She hasn't seen Emily in two years; it's bound to mess with her head a bit."  
"I suppose you're right." I sigh, begrudgingly accepting Lara's _wait and see_ advice. I know I need to give Naomi time to figure things out, but it's not like we have much time left. She'll be going back to London soon.  
_  
_We head back downstairs and I have to spend another hour playing nice until Naomi announces she's going and asks if I'm still dropping her off. I know it's not just the ride home she's asking about. She still wants me to stay over. I think I've let her stew for long enough, but before I can say yes Emily interrupts. "Why don't we all go? It'll save Katie making two trips?" The suggestion sounds innocent enough, but I can't help but wonder if she really is suspicious about me and Naomi growing so close. She knows how I feel about Naomi, but she has no idea that her ex feels the same for me. Naomi lives the closest, so if I take them all back I've got no excuse to be alone with her because she'd have to get out first. I have to think fast if I want to spend some time with her; and after tonight's little revelation I think it's safe to say we need some time alone together. _  
__  
_I use Naomi's earlier suggestion to try and get out of taking her home first. "Actually I'll take you guys back to mine first, then come back for Naomi. I'm meeting Niko later, he lives closer to her." Emily frowns and I don't think she's buying my story as she asks who Niko is. The same question is written all over Naomi's face and I hope she's jealous. Now she'll know how I feel when I see her looking at my sister. I lay it on thick as I gush over Niko like he's the hottest thing in Bristol and it works. I can't help but add a little dig at Emily. "And don't wait up. I'm not planning on sharing a bed with Effy tonight."

"Wouldn't be the first time, right Katie?"Emily shoots right back and she might as well have just slapped me in the face. Naomi frowns and I can tell she's starting to put the pieces together for herself. She knows things have been off between me and Emily for a while and I think she's close to figuring out that Emily caught me and Effy together.  
"Are you fucking coming or what?" I snap as I pick up my purse and fish my keys out of it before turning to Naomi. "I'll pick you and Cook up in ten minutes, try and be ready this time." I sneer and she rolls her eyes at me. Maybe I'm overdoing it, but I don't want Emily to be any more suspicious then she already is. The four of us pile in to the Mini, with Effy riding shotgun up front with me and Emily and Jen sitting in the back. "So that was your ex, huh?" Jen is about as subtle as a brick to the face and I struggle not to glare at her in the rear view mirror. Emily looks just as miffed, though she quickly hides it.  
"Yeah, that's Naomi." She answers, her attention fixed on the window and her expression troubled. She's thinking about Naomi. I can tell because I've seen that same look on my face a dozen times in the last few weeks. She doesn't say a word for the rest of the drive and Jen tries to get me and Effy to talk to her. I swear the girl never shuts up.

When we get back to the flat I expect to let the others out and head straight back to Lara's, but Emily lingers in the car. I feel my palms getting sweaty as I grip the steering wheel and swallow hard. This is it. Whatever's playing on her mind is about to come out and I'm not sure I can look her in the eye and lie about what's going on between me and Naomi. "Katie, you and Eff…you're not still…" Ok, not what I was expecting, but I can definitely turn around in my seat to look straight at her as I tell her that there's honestly nothing going on with me and Effy anymore.  
"Of course not! I told you, it was a onetime thing…I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier…about me. I wasn't as brave as you were. I couldn't deal with that stuff like you could." I know part of the reason she's angry with me is because I hid my sexuality from her while making a big deal about hers, but I honestly wasn't ready to deal with the feelings I had for other girls when we were kids. I wasn't as strong as Emily. I secretly admired her for being so brave about being who she was; not that I've ever told her that before.  
"I'm sorry you couldn't tell me too." Emily doesn't seem quite so burdened as she leans forward and hugs me from the backseat. It's the first hug we've shared in months and I can't lie; it feels good to have my sister back. "Have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow...oh and don't forget we're going to gran's tomorrow."  
"Yeah, I know. I'll see you in the morning." I feel like shit as she gets out of the car, but I can't be honest with her. I'd lose her for good.  
_  
_I'm still in a shit mood when I get back to Lara's and the first thing I do is walk in to the living room and climb on to Naomi's lap. I'm risking everything by giving in to my feelings for her and I _need _to know that I'm not making a mistake; that she isn't going to turn around and tell me she wants Emily instead. I wrap my arms around Naomi's neck and lean my head against her shoulder, needing to be close to her. I feel her tense, and I'm hoping it's just because Cook and Lara are there. "Ready to go?" She eventually wraps her arms around me and doesn't question the heavy sigh that escapes my lips.

Cook doesn't want a lift, choosing instead to crash in Lara and JJ's spare room, so it's only the two of us in the car on the way back to Naomi's. She brings up _Niko_ and I can tell she's intimidated by the man that I described as the fittest male model in Bristol; which he is. I just forgot to mention to Emily that he's camp as Christmas and happily married to another man. I smile as I realise she cares enough to be jealous.  
_  
_I'm ready to go straight to bed when we get back to Naomi's, but her mum and Kieran are still up and we end up having hot chocolate with them while Gina grills me on what I'm up to these days. I play nice with the older woman. I know she loves Emily to bits and she still sees her when she's home from the holidays, but I'm not really bothered if she likes my sister more than me. It's Naomi's opinion that counts. We manage to sneak off to bed after a bit and I curl up beside Naomi as we crash on to her bed still fully clothed.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Naomi asks and I sigh as I remember I'm supposed to be spending the day at my gran's with the rest of my family. It's her birthday and mum's insisting we all go up to Edinburgh to see her and stay the night. "Is Jen going?"  
"No, she's not. She's staying at mine with Eff…and I've got a favour to ask." I don't want Effy left on her own right now, not with how erratic her behaviour has been lately and I'm pretty sure Jen would drive any sane person to the brink of madness, so I want Naomi there to watch Effy's back. The blonde isn't stupid though and she knows exactly what I'm about to ask.  
"No! No way!" She objects but I flash my best pout at her as I cuddle in even closer and run my fingers across her stomach, lingering close to the waistband of her jeans. "Fine." She gives in, just like I knew she would. She leans forward to kiss me, with her arms wrapped around my waist and it's nice. We just lie there like that for a while and I can feel my eyes starting to close over as exhaustion gets the better of me. It's been a long couple of days.

Naomi has something she needs to get off her chest though and she pulls away, biting nervously at her lip. "You didn't tell me Emily knew about you and Effy. Lara said…she said you and Emily weren't speaking for a while over it." Fuck. This is exactly the conversation I didn't want to have with her. I can't look her in the eye as I shrug and toy with the bottom of her shirt.  
"Yeah, Ems was pissed. It wasn't about me being bi, or whatever, she was mad I give her such a hard time when she came out…but that's not why we stopped speaking."

"Then why?" I really don't want to answer, so I try to take her mind off Emily all together as I place my hand on the inside of her thigh, but for once the lure of sex isn't enough to distract her. Things were so much easier when this was just about sex, but now there are feelings involved on both sides and I suppose we really do have to talk about this. She was honest with me tonight so I'll have to return the favour. I roll on to my back and stare at the ceiling, lacing the fingers of her our hands together for some added security. It's now or never.  
_  
_"She said the reason I was such a bitch to you and her was because I was jealous…she meant I was jealous of how happy she was…but she looked at me and she just knew…she just knew…" I close my eyes as I try to forget about the way she exploded in my face when she figured out I was in love with Naomi too. "She didn't speak to me for months."_  
_"Does she know about us?" I can hear the panic in her voice as she sits up to stare down at me.  
"No." Maybe? I really don't know, but I can't let Naomi know that. She'd freak out and probably run back to London and I can't deal with losing her yet. I also can't have Naomi's conscience getting the better of her so I need to make it clear that she can't tell Emily about us either. "It'd kill her if she knew!""She won't find out." She promises with a sigh as she kisses the top of my head. "Do you have to go to your gran's?" She whines at me after a while, changing the subject altogether.  
"No, you can tell my mum I'm not going." I challenge with a laugh before leaning in to kiss the frown she's wearing on her lips. She makes a wisecrack about telling her over the phone from another country and I giggle in to her mouth as I kiss her again. I love moments like this, when we can just be a normal couple laughing over normal things. I wish it could be like this all the time; that we could stop lying to the people we love. That thought sobers me up and my smile slips away.

"We're never going to be able to tell anyone about this are we?" We can't even say what 'this' is. Am I Naomi's girlfriend? Or just her dirty secret?I'm surprised by her answer. "We could…if you wanted." She shrugs like it wouldn't be a big deal; like it wouldn't change everything. She doesn't look too sure about it though and I get the feeling she's just trying to say whatever will make me happy. It's sweet, but it's also crazy.  
"What?" I frown at her. "What are you talking about?"  
"I dunno… if you like, wanted to tell your mum or something?" Ok, she really is crazy. My mum would kill Naomi if she found out we'd been sleeping together. Hell, she'd probably kill me too, unless Emily got there first. I decide to play along though, testing just how far she's willing to push this to prove she wants to be with me. _  
_  
"What if I asked you to do it tomorrow?" I climb on top of her and drape my arms around her neck. My skirt rides up from the movement and Naomi's attention is elsewhere as her eyes land on thighs. I lean in and bite softly at her lip to make sure I have her undivided attention. "Naomi? What if I asked you to tell my mum we were fucking? Tomorrow."  
"Why not right now?" She shoots back at me with this cocksure grin and I just know she's figured out I'm playing her. She knows as well as I do that we're not ready for people to know about us. We carry on joking around, until her hand slips under my skirt and I forget all about playing games. We've only got what's left of tonight together, and god knows when we'll get another chance to be alone. I intend to make the most of it.


End file.
